#i like character details like that theyre very expressive you can do so much with them its Flair ok its Flair

[maretriarch]

drawing a lot of jasproses...finally took a proper gander at her canon design....hussie didnt give her either a tail or a ribbon for her princess cone hat...my literal reaction

[subskz]

…i lost the tag limit war

the reader changing the subject the instant she feels seen by minho is such a subtle but valuable hint that i think says a lot abt the type of person she is, that moment really stood out to me! i know i literally just said this but right down to every minute detail, you've characterized both lino and the reader so masterfully it has to be the most enjoyable aspect of this story for me...and on top of that i just love how you write their conversations so much, they’re both such lil nerds…my intellectually stimulating smarties debating w each other even now 🥰 it all feels so comfortable and natural and draws me into their relationship w such ease!

their discussion abt colors is hands down one of my favorite scenes in all of invisible thread!! it's such an oddly heartwarming conversation and that perfect, out-of-the-box way of thinking that’s just so undeniably minho...it almost reminds me of synesthesia how he describes feelings through color! "the very essence of our humanity" "the orange that paints the sky when the sun is about to dip into the ocean" the way you embodied each colors through emotions/experiences was so wonderfully done, i understood each one instantly like it was a picture being visualized before my eyes. it makes it even more touching that minho and the reader come to understand each other on a whole new level through that way of communicating their moods <3 and for some reason when he gives the example "i feel like that moss green that no one seems to pay attention to" that really tugged at my heartstrings ㅠ it almost feels like he isnt just giving a hypothetical there, like he's giving a small glimpse into his true feelings without saying it outright. maybe he feels invisible deep down, too

them falling asleep together on facetime was so soft and tender ㅠㅠ leave it to lino to ramble abt sous-vide as a bedtime story and complain abt getting SCAMMED lmao the way that is actually smth he would say 😭 "he closes his eyes, thinking that maybe he just found the silence you talked about earlier on" this line got me so good ): it seems at first that he's bringing the reader peace but she's bringing him peace in her own way as well...her feelings abt his eyes changing from fear to longing is such a lovely detail and HER COMPLIMENTING THEM!!! HIS STUNNED REACTION </3 "this is the first genuine compliment he's ever received" oh my god does my moss green theory actually have any merit.....does he really feel invisible to the world too...do not do this to me sahar ㅠㅠ but the way he thinks such lovely, adoring things abt the reader in that moment but instead of voicing them he whines abt being hungry....so endearing and so HIM i cant get enough of how youve written minho here ur singlehandedly reminding me why he is allegedly the love of my life

the kintsugi mention made my heart leap in my chest!!! "when you look at that vase, you know it was once broken, but it doesn't take away from its beauty" please...that sentence in itself is so moving when you apply it to the context of what the reader has been through her whole life, not just a single crack but repeated breakages. and for it to come from someone like minho; it feels like exactly what the reader needs to hear to truly begin to heal herself...he doesn't coddle her but is still so gentle, putting things into perspective like nobody else can w his unique worldview and mental strength ㅠㅠ and i think i just lost my mind realizing that this scene loops right back to the clay comparison you drew at the beginning of the story oh my GOD....the reader is like a clay pot molded by her mother, broken in places and repaired over and over to create smth still damaged but just as valuable...and lino is the gold filling in the cracks....sahar you are INSANE for this one im kissing ur brain and tucking it gently into bed

the scene w minho in the rain 😞 i was not prepared to see my meow meow upset...but i love the way you wrote it so much. how oddly quiet he is, even to the point where he's not commenting in class or teasing her, and that's the key detail that lets the reader know smth's off w him...i also love that nothing in particular caused his low mood. it's such a human quality, and he allows himself to be human and feel his feelings until they pass. "he knew his emotions would regulate themselves" i cant explain why this line stood out to me so much i really love it, i think it's just such a shining example of minho's mindset...not necessarily optimistic, but practical enough to not be completely swamped by the darkness either. it creates such an interesting contrast to the reader's personality to see how they both handle their emotions, w her pushing hers away and him letting them run their course. but the fact that he typically tries to retreat into himself until he feels better, yet strangely enough, he doesn't mind it as much as he'd expect when the reader catches him in a vulnerable state...my babies ㅠ i also really loved the part where he uses her shower and thinks abt the scent of her soap as he washes up, it's so so sweet n intimate i'm such a sucker for things like that ): there are so many small things minho notices abt her like it's the most natural thing in the world, they're both so attentive of one another

"you were both just trying to make it through the day" and "he knew he wasn't invisible. at least not to you" were critical hits to my heart...it feels like a breakthrough in their relationship—the first time the reader truly truly sees minho, all sides of him, and she accepts them all without question <3

the gradual progression of their friendship is so gratifying to read bc of how organically you made it all flow together!! i adore the entire sequence that shows us how they start to care for each other more and more…the casual intimacy of the reader applying her lip tint to his lips (and him not studying for his quiz on purpose 😭💗 come ON) lino worrying abt her eating enough, the reader tying his bangs out of his eyes, complimenting him so matter-of-factly, and him BLUSHING ALL OVER THE PLACE it’s so over for me x2 they are so tender in their actions even when they tease each other nonstop. it all leads up so perfectly to the point in the story where minho finds himself being drawn to her apartment without even realizing it when he doesn't feel well. the subtle shift from him initially trying to shut her out bc he's so used to managing his bad days on his own, to him eventually leaning in to her kindness and seeking her company instead...and the way she just understands what he needs immediately, allows him to sit in silence and simply exist in peace next to her. describing his mood as "too much of every color" really struck a chord w me as well...i'm just so so in love w the running theme of colors you included throughout this story, it's such a brilliant way to put emotions into words <3

the lil parallels here n there from the beginning of their relationship until now are so cute as well; how lino makes breakfast for her the first time and leaves before she wakes up, but this time, he promises to stay and eat with her...to not be invisible ㅠㅠ i think what's making me craziest of all is how they're both so hyperaware of each other's touch. like when their shoulders brushed while sharing the reader's umbrella, how the reader suddenly finds it difficult to concentrate on her book when lino holds her wrist as she shields him from the sunlight...and little does she know it's the exact same for him too, like when she rested her head on his thigh and all he could focus on was the sensation of her hair tickling him 😭 they are so enamored w each other and have become so tangled up in each other little by little...they don't even fully realize it yet but they've made a permanent place in each other's lives now

"you were already on the other side, you realize. his eyes pulled you in and you were stuck in there, swimming in a pool of honey" oh my GOD!!! ㅠㅠㅠㅠ her feelings abt minho's eyes changing from fear, to longing, to at last the comfort of getting to see the other side of those black holes...this line hit me like a truck it might be my favorite from the entire fic ㅠ i have a feeling i'll be saying that abt many more lines to come when you verbalize things in the most poetic ways imaginable heheh but this one truly got me so good, the delicacy in which you describe minho makes the reader's growing affection for him all the more heart-fluttering~

minho hesitating to wipe her tears )): the way he's so careful abt touching her in any unwarranted way bc he can sense that she shies away from skinship is so devastatingly sweet...and then him pinching her right after to make her stop crying NEVERMIND I CANT STAND HIM ACTUALLY. but the way he consoles her is so endearing and so so minho...very simple and sincere, he knows her well enough to immediately figure out the best way to take her mind off of the issue instead of dwelling on it. "you didn't care what shape he was in, you just needed him to be in it" i've already pointed out so many lines oh my god i'm so sorry but each one is like another arrow through my heart ㅠㅠ i feel like this sentence is such a perfect testament to the reader and lino's relationship; they've both seen each other at their best and worst and it doesn't change anything abt their feelings, they care for each other unconditionally 😞 also the reader being afraid of physical touch bc she craves it is SO heartbreaking but so raw...i think it aligns so well w her past bc she's so used to either being invisible, or only being perceived negatively when she is perceived. it makes perfect sense how terrifying she'd find it to bare herself to minho when her whole life she's been deprived of genuine affection...you've really done such a phenomenal job of characterizing both her and lino i cant say it enough!

now...the entire final scene...where do i even begin...i had a feeling the climax of the story was going to hurt but not like this ㅠㅠ the reader's inner turmoil as she debates reaching out to her mother again, that conflicting mix of hating her yet somehow still missing her...it's such an inexplicable and confusing feeling for ppl who have experienced that kind of neglect but so so real and you captured it so candidly. it really added a whole new layer to the reader's humanity, for her to be unable to completely let go of their relationship no matter how painful it is to hold on to...for her to cling to the hope that maybe she could be worth smth to her mother if she did everything right ): i genuinely had the exact same reaction as her when you revealed that her mother had deleted her phone number...it felt precisely like a bucket of ice cold water to the head. the reader trying to pinpoint the exact moment in time where her mother stopped loving her was what really crushed me most...what a heart-wrenching sentence ㅠㅠ the fact that she's tried to hard to find solace in other places and people and tried to grow into her own person after entering university, but even so, those marks left from her childhood are still there...a vase full of cracks 💔 as much as it hurts to read, i love that you included this bump in the road of her healing journey and made a point to highlight that healing isn't linear

and minho 😭😭😭😭😭 the way he handled the reader's outburst is so touching...the way he's immediately able to recognize that her feelings are misplaced and smth much deeper is going on beyond what he sees on the surface...using that astuteness to put his own feelings to the side in the moment is so minho. this entire scene is just blossoming with powerful lines i can't forget, but i was especially affected by the reader saying "i'd need you and i can't afford to need someone else." it's such a tragic summarization of her in my opinion...how she went her whole life being unable to rely on anyone but herself, so the moment she's faced w minho, all her instincts say to reject it no matter how badly she craves that intimacy ㅠㅠ and lino saying "i'll be by your side for as long as you'll have me" is such a beautiful declaration of love...it's so selfless and unconditional, and it fits so seamlessly w how their relationship progressed throughout the story, how they were by each other's sides at their best and worst moments.

"the world doesn't stop because we need it to" "we'll make it stop" and then describing their kiss as like "seeing color for the first time"...i'm going to melt into an inconsolable puddle over all these callbacks to their first date together don't think i didn't catch the ways you weaved those in throughout this final scene..you made it feel so complete, like things have come full circle. i already mentioned how much i loved their conversation abt describing colors to the blind, so for their first kiss to be written that way, like the reader was blind to the true color of the world until she met minho....i am going to be ill that is so intensely romantic sahar ㅠㅠㅠㅠ

"he was the invisible thread stitching your wounds back together." another heartaching line ): what a way to personify the quiet love minho provides...it may be invisible to everyone else, but not to her

i'm so sorry for my horrifically long comment haha but i'm just thrilled i was finally able to read this beautiful fic 😞 just as i'd predicted, you're a phenomenal writer!! the amount of love and effort you poured into it went above and beyond, i hope you're so proud of yourself for creating such a stunning work!! it's very clear to me how every interaction you wrote between minho and the reader was so carefully thought out and so meaningful to the overarching theme of the story, it's all done with care and purpose and there's smth special to be found in each line of dialogue! it's like you carefully stacked more and more on to the foundation of their bond until before we know it, there's an entire home there that they built steadily together. that kind of subtle progression is my absolute favorite thing. i'm also so blown away by how the reader's mother, though never actually making an appearance until the final scene, has such an heavy impact over the narrative. it's like she's a ghost haunting the reader's every action, every decision, every inner thought...i find it so impressive how you were able to incorporate that effect into the story without us even needing to meet the mother! and i must've mentioned countless lines that stuck w me throughout the fic, but just know that there are countless more i could've pointed out as well...you truly write so so beautifully. so poetic and emotive, but also not so flowery that it becomes hard to follow, i'm truly floored by your ability to achieve that perfect balance! on top of the story being so immersive in itself, your writing style made invisible thread such a genuine delight to read <3

this feels like the kind of story i'll be thinking abt for a long time after finishing it, the kind to revisit over n over bc i'm sure there are so many lil easter eggs you included that i may have missed! i'm positive i'll come back to it many times in the future hehe...but i can't wait to read more of your writing as well! ^_^

Invisible thread- one

pairing : minho x reader

genre : university au, academic rivals to lovers (rivals not enemies because they respect each other), slow burn, fluff, angst.

warnings : reader has a very bad relationship with her mother, insecurities, talk about murder but as a joke, mention of alcohol, reader has she/her pronouns.

summary : Your studies were your lifeline for as long as you can remember. What happens when Minho comes into your life and rips it away from you?

word count : 20k

Author's note : I've been working on this fic on and off for the past two months, so if you do enjoy reading, please let me know. asks, comments, reblogs i read them all and they truly make me the happiest <3 (also i based this off my own college experience, where we study two terms and there is one person on top of the class every semester)

part two

You have always been first in your class.

Not because you particularly enjoyed studying. You simply felt that your worth was solely tied to the marks on your papers.

You never wanted to crumble under the pressure of studies, to hole yourself up in your room for an assignment you won’t remember in a month. But achieving good grades was the only way for you to feel seen; to make someone stop in their tracks and acknowledge you. 

A simple “good job” that you preserved inside your mind, as a reminder that you did exist to other people. Considering that the majority of your life was spent in silence. 

Your mom put a roof above your head and food on your table, but she never asked about your day, nor did she seem to care. You felt as though you were no more important to her than the tapestry hanging on your wall.

At times, you imagined that if you stood close enough to that tapestry, you could merge with it as one. The intricate embroidery would wrap around you and draw you in. And your mother wouldn’t notice. She would regard you with the same indifference she showed towards that textile- a mere decoration, at times a nuisance when she had to dust it.

You always ate your dinner alone. When you scraped your knee, you tended to the wound by yourself. No one attended your childhood musicals, and you patted your back when you cracked an egg without dropping a shell into the bowl. 

You’ve come to learn since your young age that all your milestones, both small and significant, would be celebrated alone. 

On the rare times your mother would acknowledge your presence, she’d unleash a flurry of criticism your way as if she was eagerly awaiting the opportunity to strike you down. She'd toss crude comments over her shoulder as easily as a casual hello, leaving you feeling battered and bruised in her wake. 

You felt as if you were shoreline rocks, and your mother was the ocean. You never knew if she would be like a gentle tide, barely brushing against you, or an enraged storm, mercilessly crashing down on your being. And you weren't sure which one was worse: to be invisible or to be seen and despised.  

That’s why you grew up plagued with self-doubt. You made friends throughout your school years but you never allowed them to get close enough to really see you -you feared that they might glimpse the very thing your mother seemed to despise in you. 

Throughout your childhood, you were like soft clay in your mother's hands- pliable, and easy to mold. And she indented you, everywhere, carved in edges and dips where they should not have been ones. Handled you roughly when you should have been treated with care. And as the years went by, you hardened- much like clay, but her touch remained imprinted upon you. It was difficult at times to discern who you were and who she made you to be.

You tried to start anew when you went away to university; to rewire your brain into believing that you were enough- you exist and you shouldn't prove to anyone that you deserved to be alive. But her words haunted you, they were like skeletons in your closet- but the closet was you. You could never part from them.

So, you fell back into the same pattern of seeking good grades and congratulatory words from your professors. Every A+ you got infused you with a momentary sense of worthiness.

But unlike in high school, you weren't always the best. Your competition came in the form of a single man named Minho, who seemed to excel in every class you shared.

Minho was mostly quiet, but whenever he spoke, you found that his words carried weight. Your professors consistently agreed with his points, and you envied the confidence he exuded. You wondered what it must feel like to be so sure of oneself.

It wasn't until a month into the year that you had your first interaction with Minho. You were in your Constitutional Law class when your professor Kim brought up the notion of ‘Separation of Powers’. You were arguing that judges shouldn’t be included in the writings of law when you heard a scoff from the row behind you. You turned around, raising a brow at the culprit, "Is there something you’d like to say?" you asked.

And in response, Minho smiled lazily, an air of smugness surrounding him, "I just don’t agree." The professor urged him to explain himself, so he leaned back into his chair, eyeing you. "Judges are the ones who practice the law every day, and sometimes they find that none of the written texts fit their case. If they get involved in lawmaking, they can help address those gaps or uncertainties." 

"Who's to say that those judges aren’t biased or politically motivated? They’ll end up writing laws to fit their own preferences," you pointed out, raising an eyebrow at him. "We elect judges to interpret and apply laws, not make them. If they start writing laws too, we'll be violating the separation of powers between the legislative and judicial branches. That's what keeps our entire system from crumbling."

Minho rested his chin on his hand, tapping his cheek thoughtfully with his index finger. "Aren’t legislators prone to biases too? Your point doesn’t stand then," he challenged, tilting his head to the side, "and judges can participate without going overboard. They can provide input on proposed laws without actually drafting them. That way, we ensure that the laws are crafted with a clear understanding of how they'll be put into practice." 

"If your main concern is to ensure that the laws are impartial, we have people who work as consulting experts whose job is exactly that," you flashed him an innocent smile, firing back. "Also, wouldn’t these overstepping branches put the judges in a position to be perceived in a bad light? Is that what you want?"

Before Minho could respond, Mr. Kim intervened, putting an end to your debate, "Let's save this energy for your essays and see who can convince me more."

You gave a quick nod, swiveling in your seat without a backward glance. However, you could sense Minho’s gaze penetrating through your back- as if he was trying to read your most intimate thoughts. 

That was the first thing you noticed about Minho when he walked over to you. His eyes were brown, not a special color by any means. But they held a certain depth to them that seemed to draw you in like a black hole. You weren't sure what you would find on the other side, nor did you have any desire to find out.

He outstretched his hands towards you, stopping you in your tracks. "Minho," he introduced and your hand met his in a firm grip. The second thing you noticed about him was the coldness of his hand, as it wrapped tightly around your palm. 

Suddenly you were taken back to when you built a snowman for the first and last time. You were just seven and the ice was freezing, numbing your fingers as you worked. Your mother never told you that you should’ve worn mittens, or a thick jacket to fight off the cold when she saw you walking out of the house. The memory of your cold hands and the horrible illness that followed still left a bitter taste in your mouth, like an unripe fruit. With a jolt you dropped his hand, forcefully pulling yourself away from that memory. 

"Yn," you said back, and he smiled to himself, repeating your name slowly, each syllable dripping from his tongue.  

"We'll see who'll write the best essay, right?" he asked, clearly challenging you. There was a gleam of excitement in his eyes that reminded you of a child gazing up at cotton candy. 

That was the third thing you noticed about Minho; how expressive his eyes were. They moved with his every word, punctuating them. 

He was infuriating but also amusing. You've never had a clear competitor in your life. Or maybe you had, but you didn't notice them. You were always so reclined on yourself, trying to survive the day, you didn't pay enough attention to your surroundings.

"You want to compete with me?" You asked, and he smirked, leaning against the door, arms crossed in front of his chest. "What? Scared you’d lose?"

"Please." You rolled your eyes at his taunting, "Don’t come crying when I win."

"We’ll see about that!" He shouted after you as you walked ahead, leaving him behind.

This essay was insignificant. A simple way for your professor to assess your knowledge and work approach. And yet, you found yourself staying up all night to complete it. There was no way you were going to let Minho take this one thing from you.

Who were you if not the best in your studies? You were deathly afraid to find out. 

Later on that week, the professor handed you your grade back, 98%. You turned around to show Minho your mark, and so did he. You surpassed him, only by mere percents. "I told you so," you smiled cheekily and he pouted, holding a hand to his heart as if your grade wounded him.

"I'll beat you next time", he mouthed and you chuckled, "Whatever helps you sleep at night."

✹✹✹

The first time you studied with Minho was in a cat café near campus, called Limbo, about two weeks after your initial interaction. You stumbled upon it serendipitously while strolling through your university town. You couldn’t study at home, since you were easily distracted in there, and the eerie silence of libraries often left you unsettled.

Limbo, however, offered the perfect middle-ground: it was calm, not overly crowded, and the buzzing of the coffee machine blended harmoniously with the occasional mewls of cats, which helped you concentrate better. 

You were sitting in a secluded corner table at the café's back, a sleeping black cat comfortably nestled in your lap when you sensed a shadow loom over you. You glanced up quickly to find Minho. He was clad in a grey hoodie sporting a bunny holding up its middle finger. You had to bite your cheek to suppress a grin at his clothing attire.

"What are you doing here?" He asked. 

"You know for someone smart you sure ask stupid questions," you remarked, already looking down at the papers scattered in front of you.

He huffed, taking a seat at the table right next to yours, "I can’t believe that of all places you’ve found this café to study in."

"My apologies, am I disturbing you, your highness?" You asked sarcastically, and in retort, Minho mimicked your words in a high-pitched tone. You threw the pillow right next to you at his head, and Minho swiftly ducked, easily avoiding it. He chuckled loudly while you glared at his laughing figure. That was the end of your conversation that day. 

From that moment forward, it became a routine for the two of you to study at Limbo, every Saturday, without fault. You didn’t explicitly plan on it, but it seemed that both of you found it comforting to work there. And you could also tell that, unlike you, it wasn’t Minho’s first time coming to Limbo. He was friends with the owner, a sweet middle-aged man who offered you pastries whenever you stayed there until closing. The cats seemed to know him too, they mewled at his feet whenever he entered and he always greeted them with a soft smile on his face. 

You didn’t talk much in those unofficial study sessions, the both of you were consumed by your own work. But you’d steal quick glances at him every now and then, the sight of him so concentrated only fueled you to work harder.

Admittedly, your competition left you feeling anxious for days on end at first. Each time Minho came out on top, you’d found yourself losing your grip. Your studies have been the one anchor keeping you afloat your entire life, and now, Minho was ripping it carelessly away from you. So, you resented him- you were human after all.

But then, you realized that Minho’s taunting wasn’t malicious. He wasn’t competing with you to hurt you, he was doing it for amusement only.

You've slowly started to learn that despite his relentless teasing, Minho had a gentle aura surrounding him. Glimpses of which occasionally emerged like rays of sunshine piercing through a thick cloud cover.

True, he chuckled when you accidentally bumped your head on the table while retrieving a fallen pen. Yet, you also noticed how he began to cover the table's corners with his hand whenever you bent down. He swiftly retracted his hand, seemingly believing you didn't notice, but you did.

During class presentations, he deliberately prepared challenging questions for you, urging you to study twice as hard to ensure no stone was left unturned. Yet, whenever the professor praised your performance, Minho offered a subtle thumbs-up as a gesture of support. He winked at you each time he got the right answer and you didn’t. However, when he noticed you struggling with a particular subject, he scooted closer and patiently explained it to you. He got up before you could thank him, swatting his arm in the air as if he didn’t do anything of significance. 

To show your appreciation, you bought him a drink that day he helped you—a simple gesture that sparked an ongoing game of "win a bet, get free food". You bet on who would receive the first mark on an assignment or who would finish an essay first- anything to further deepen the competition between you.

That's how you came to know that he loved puddings, among other things.

Curiously, as the months went by, your mind began to retain these little details about him. How his eyelashes fluttered like butterfly wings when he blinked repeatedly during your conversations. How he glanced at the ceiling when lost in deep thought as if he was waiting for the answers to descend from the sky. Or how his lips take on the shape of an "o" while thinking of his response during one of your many debates. But you supposed that it was natural to take notice of such things when you spend countless Saturday afternoons with the same person.

You were still studying for someone else, in the sense that each time you stayed up working, it was solely to prove your worth to Minho. But at least unlike your mother, Minho's words never haunted you at night.

✹✹✹

Just like that, four months have gone by since you joined your university as a law major. It was nearing finals week and you were preparing it at Limbo. Minho was naturally present too, at his usual table right next to yours.

On the last weekend before the beginning of your finals, you were head-deep into your Criminal Law documents when Minho abruptly got up from his seat and settled in the chair in front of you.

"Yn," he whispers and you glance at him, "What?" 

"I have an idea."

"Keep it to yourself," you grin sarcastically, only for him to pick up your spoon and move it around in a threatening manner.

"Are you trying to scare me with a spoon?" you chuckle in disbelief.

 "Anything can be a weapon if you use enough force."

"Okay… that was creepy. What do you want?"

"The end of the first term is coming up. So, to celebrate our little rivalry-"

"It's not a rivalry if I’m always winning," you cut him off.

"Yeah, that’s why I have a fridge full of pudding."

"But-"

"Anyways, how about the top of the class takes the other out for dinner? A fancy one." He suggests, his gaze fixed on you.

"No, thank you. I already see you enough in classes."

"Didn’t think you wouldn’t up for a bet. Guess I was wrong," he remarks, a cheeky smile drawn on his lips. He knows you couldn’t possibly say no now.  

"Fine," you roll your eyes at his proud expression. "Prepare your wallet." 

"Mm, sure," he responds, before rising from his seat once more.

That day, you both lost track of time as you studied in Limbo until it closed down. When you finally stepped outside, stretching your tired limbs, you were met with the sight of falling snowflakes.

"Nooo, go away. I don't want to watch the first snow with you," Minho whines, referring to the superstition that watching the first snowfall with someone could spark love between the two of you. 

"As if I could ever love you," you laugh at the ridiculous idea, "that’d just be signing a death warrant."

You resume walking towards your apartment when suddenly something freezing and hard hits your back with enough force to make you stagger. Turning around slowly, you find Minho erupting in laughter, his body filled with uncontainable joy. He’s jumping and clapping excitedly, and for a fleeting moment, you can’t decide if your shock was from the impact or from how beautiful happiness looks on him. 

Snapping out of your daze, you swiftly retaliate by scooping up a handful of snow and hurling it at him. "Now you are cold too!" you shout, while he’s still laughing uncontrollably. 

Thus begins an impromptu snowball fight between the two of you. Unsurprisingly, you’re being competitive in this too, trying your best to strike each other before the other could recover. But Minho draws nearer to you, and in your desperation to win, you fall to the ground when he throws a snowball at your chest, gasping as if you’re in pain.

"Shit, did I hurt you?" Minho quickly kneels in front of you, concern evident in his voice. It surprises you for a moment- how worried he seems at the prospect of causing you pain.

But you shake that thought off and push him down to the ground, a proud smile on your face. In his fall, Minho instinctively reaches for you to steady himself, which ends up with you landing on top of him. Your faces are mere inches apart, and a soft gasp escapes your mouth at your sudden proximity.

Minho has a mole on his nose. You’ve never noticed that before. 

You quickly push yourself off of him, not enjoying being this close to somebody. "Why did you drag me down with you?" you grumble, shaking off the snow from your hair.

"Play stupid games, win stupid prizes," he cheekily stuck out his tongue, and you respond with the same childlike gesture before the both of you burst into loud laughter. The sound reverberates through your entire being, and it echoes in your mind long after the two of you go your separate ways.  

As you lay in bed that night, ready to drift off to sleep, a quiet realization dawns on you. This was the first time you've touched snow in since your childhood incident.

That unpleasant memory didn't cross your mind once. Instead, all you thought about was Minho’s infectious laughter, and the surprising warmth it stirred within you.

✹✹✹

You came first in your grade this semester.

True to his words, Minho texted you the name of the restaurant where you’d both meet to celebrate your win. As you got ready for your outing, you couldn’t help the nerves creeping up on you. Studying in silence next to Minho was something, going to a friendly dinner with him was another. You feared it would be too awkward and Minho would regret ever proposing such a thing.

So, as you sit in the refined BBQ restaurant waiting for him, you fidget with your hands, counting down to three in your head in an attempt to steady your breathing.

You were clearly not accustomed to existing with Minho outside of the confines of your studies.

"Did you wait long?" Minho asks as he finally pulls the chair in front of you and you shake your head no.

"Are you nervous?" he chuckles at your lack of words, and you frown, suddenly feeling defensive. "Why would I be nervous? This isn't a date."

"Who said anything about a date?" he smirks and you grab your fork threateningly, pointing it at him, "Don't say anything stupid or I will walk out."

"And stand me up on our first date? That's too mean.” He pouts, a hand on his heart and you can’t help but giggle at his antics. You were ridiculous for being nervous. This was Minho, the one person you’ve talked to the most since the start of this year. 

"What will you have?" he asks and you smile mischievously.

 "Most expensive thing on the menu."

"So you are only here for the food." 

"Well, it's certainly not for your company," you wink and he chuckles, his bunny teeth on full display. 

"And here I thought we were going to be civil with each other."

"When are we ever not?" you gasp dramatically and Minho swats your hand with the menu. "Just order whatever," you finally answer," I trust your food judgment."

"I could poison you, you know?" He smiles proudly and you roll your eyes at him, "Can’t you be normal, for once?"

Minho calls over the waiter and places your orders. The food is quick to arrive and Minho starts to grill up the meat, while you cut the Kimchi into smaller pieces. 

"Here," he puts the perfectly cooked rib onto your plate first and you smile at him, "Thank you."

"Eat up, don’t wait for me," he tells you and you nod, tasting the flavorful meat.

"Wow this is really good," you compliment and he smirks proudly at your words, "I know."

Minho places four other ribs for you, without eating one himself. You start to feel bad, so you grab his chopsticks, pick up the meat, and move it toward his mouth, "Open up."

"What?" He asks confused and you wave the food in front of his face, "Come on, you haven’t eaten anything."

Minho parts his lips slowly, and you feed the tender meat to him, before eating one yourself. You notice how his cheeks are slightly tinted pink now, and you account it to the intense heat of the grill.

"Oh, let's not talk about studies, my brain can't take another debate with you," you tell Minho in between bites and he grins at you, a gleam of excitement in his eyes. "If you were to dispose of a body, how would you do it?"

"I think our next celebration will be in an asylum." you smile too sweetly at him and he stares at you pointedly, "Please, I know you've already thought about it."

"Fine. Probably in a deserted land. What about you?"

"I'd cut their bodies and then bury each part in a different forest. In a different city."

His answer came too quickly, and you pause in your tracks, "Should I be worried?"

"You are too cute to kill." His tone is sarcastic and you make a show of gushing at his compliment, clasping both of your hands in front of your heart, "Growing soft on me, Minho?" 

"Yeah, I’m basically sooo in love with you," he replies with a smirk and you roll your eyes at him, an amused smile tugging at the corners of your mouth.

"What's your favorite color?" you finally ask, changing the subject.

"Purple."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"You'll buy me purple flowers?" He coos at you and you shake your head as you grab the utensil from his hand, to grill the meat your turn. 

"No. I'll paint your tombstone purple," you grin and he laughs loudly, eyes squinted close, and you can't find it in you to care that the people next to you are staring. 

"What's yours?" he asks when he calms down and you shrug, "Navy blue, I think."

"You do remind me of navy blue."

"And why is that?"

"When you look at it, at first glance, it looks like black. But the more you stare at it, the more layers you uncover. Just like you. There’s more to you than what meets the eye."

You grab your glass of water, gulping it down to hide the way your eyes just glossed over. You suddenly felt bare in front of Minho. How did he know?

You clear your throat, racking your brain for a way to move on from that question. "If you were to describe colors to a blind person, how would you do it?"

"Mm," he looks up at the ceiling as he mulls over your question, "I’d say that yellow is the feeling of eating ice cream on a sunny day, in an amusement park. Your fingers are sticky but your cheeks ache from how much you smiled that day."

"Yellow is carefree and happy."

"Exact. Now your turn, red."

"I’d say that... Red is the thrill that rushes through your veins when you do something you are passionate about, you know? It’s what makes our blood boil and our heart race. The very essence of our humanity."

Minho smiles softly at your words, seemingly agreeing with your description. "Don’t you think it would be easier if we simply asked, what color are you feeling today, instead of a 'How are you'?" He questions and you tilt your head to the side, "What do you mean?"

"Well, you could say, I feel like that moss green that no one seems to pay attention to. Or, I feel bright yellow as if the world's energy is stored inside me."

"And right now, how do you feel?"

"I feel orange, not the ugly orange." He precises and you chuckle, "the orange that paints the sky when the sun is about to dip into the ocean."

"A bittersweet orange, an ending that instantly strings along a new beginning. And you don't have time to rest."

Minho places his chin on his palm, eyeing you curiously, "Is that what you want? To rest?"

"Yeah." You admit quietly, "Don't you sometimes wish that the world would just stop, for a few seconds? Just like in a song, right before the beat drops. That silence, I wish I could live inside of it."

"I do too."

You both hold each other’s gaze for a while after that. You felt as if he was keeping you captive with his brown eyes, and he was slowly peeling each of your layers, in silence, as you were peeling his. For the first time, you think that you and he are similar, more than on a studies level. There was a part of his soul that understood yours perfectly. And it felt good, to be understood, for once.

"If you lived in this silence, what would you be doing?" he asks, breaking the serene quiet that surrounded you.

"I’d open a café that had books. And there'd be a little space, where people could paint. Or do pottery. And I’d have cats in there too." You reply excitedly, hands moving around in the air, you end up missing the way Minho gazes fondly at you before his smile morphs into a smirk.

"Please tell me you won't be cooking."

"Shut up. What about you?"

"I’d be a dancer."

"You dance?!" you whisper-shout and he frowns at the surprised look on your face. 

"Yeah. Why are you looking at me like this?"

"I just never expected it. Can I-"

"No." he cuts you off immediately and you pout. 

"I didn't even finish."

"I knew what you were going to say."

"Please, I won't make a sound I’d just watch. Pinky promise.” He grabs your now outstretched pinky with the tip of his index and thumb, lowering it down. 

"I’d only grant you this wish when you’re on your deathbed."

"Bold of you to assume you'd still be around."

"Death might be around the corner."

"Stop it."

"Close your door tonight."

"You are deranged."

Minho chuckles at the crestfallen look on your face, "I’ll think about it."

Just like that, three hours of talking have gone by, the conversation flowing easily between the two of you. And when you finally leave the restaurant, Minho grabs you a cab and you wave him off with a smile. You couldn't lie to yourself, you had a really good time with him. You liked to think that Minho was no longer just a rival, but a possible friend.

But now that you were laying in your bed, you couldn’t help but curse Minho in your brain. His repetitive talk about murder made you paranoid, and now every creak in your apartment made you feel as if death was really right around the corner. 

You decide to text him, figuring that if you couldn’t sleep because of him, you could at least disturb him for a bit. 

Yn : I hate you I'm paranoid from your murder talk

Minho : Poor baby

Yn : Is that you at my door?

Suddenly your phone rings, the shrill sound echoing around your apartment. It was a Facetime call from Minho. You panic for a few seconds, before remembering that you just spent your entire night with him. A call can’t be more daunting than a real-life meeting. 

"See, I’m in my home," he tells you as soon as you pick up and you laugh.

"It's pitch black, I can't see."

"Just say you miss my face." You can’t see him but you can clearly hear the proud grin in his voice. 

"What's there to miss?"

"Are you actually scared?" Minho asks gently and you clear your throat, feeling ridiculous all of the sudden. 

"There is a tree right outside my window and it keeps rustling from the wind," you grumble and Minho laughs at you. 

"Trees can't hurt you."

"No shit Sherlock."

"Close your eyes.” He instructs and you frown at his words. 

"Why?"

"I’ll tell you a story."

"Fine.” You close your eyes tentatively. It’s quiet for a few seconds and you feel yourself relax slightly. 

"So, I bought a sous-vide machine and-"

"Is your bedtime story going to be about meat?"

"Yes?” He replies as if it’s an evidence, “Now be quiet." You pretend to zip your mouth and Minho faintly giggles, before resuming his story. "So, I was saying. I bought one and I wanted to experience different kinds of meats. So, I bought a 30-day aged one and a 58-day aged one and I cooked them both."

"What did you use?" you ask quietly. 

"Just garlic, and thyme, I didn't want to overpower the taste of meat. Anyways I cooked them, but I didn't have plastic bags so I had to go out and buy them."

"Mm," you hum in acknowledgment. You could feel your nerves slowly dissipate with Minho's every word. His story might be ridiculous but his honey-coated voice compensated for it, wrapping around you like a protective cocoon. 

"And I found pudding there so I had to buy it."

"Obviously," you whisper. Sleep was knocking on your door, but paradoxically you tried to fight it off. You wanted to hear the rest of Minho’s story. 

"And I went back home and I cooked it, then I plated it nicely with vegetables that I sauteed with butter and garlic. Just mushrooms and potatoes, nothing too fancy. Again, my main focus was the meat. But there wasn't a difference between the two. They tasted the same for me, for some reason. And I didn't like this because the aged one was very expensive. Maybe I was scammed. Honestly, that butcher looked kind of suspicio..."

Your quiet snores make Minho pause in his tracks, and he laughs quietly. You did end up falling asleep. He can't see your face clearly, but he can see its outline and he stares at you for a while. You look peaceful.

He goes to hang up but his finger hovers over the 'end call' button. You aren't talking, but your hums are quiet enough that they fill up the space around him. It calms him down, and he lets his head fall on the pillow, his phone lying beside him.

He closes his eyes, thinking that maybe he just found the silence you talked about earlier on. 

You just made his world stop.

✹✹✹

The second semester had just started and with it the return of frat parties. You were excited at the prospect of going to one with your new friend Mina. You met her in the library when you both went to grab the same book. You quickly apologized but she waved you off, handing you the book with a huge smile on her face. She was bubbly, like a human serotonin boost, and she started gushing about how much she loved the author. You saw her again in the campus cafeteria, and she skipped towards you as if you've both known each other your entire life. That was the start of your friendship.

You walk into the frat house, both your arms encircling each other. The flashing lights of the party blind you for a moment, and it takes you a while to adjust to the loud music bouncing off of the walls. But you like it, it was like a shield from the outside world and its problems. 

You feel yourself letting loose in the crowd, swaying your hips to the music. Mina spins you around and you laugh, dancing with no care in the world. It was just the both of you in that instant. 

Mina spots Jeongin in the crowd, a friend of hers that she had an immense crush on. You couldn’t blame her- he was very attractive; his easy smirk and his blonde tousled hair earned him lots of appreciative looks from the people around him. But when his eyes locked with Mina’s, you found that his face morphed into a beautiful smile, that made his dimples look on full display, as if it was only reserved for her.

“Go get your man!” You shout in her ears, so she’d be able to hear you. 

“What are you talking about?” She yells back, but you could see the nervous smile on her face.

“He likes you! Go talk to him!”

“I don’t want to leave you alone. We came together!” She clasps your hand in hers and you smile touched by her kind spirit.

“I’ll be fine. I’ll go to the kitchen to get some drinks. Go have fun!”

“You are sure?” She asks, her eyes darting between you and Jeongin, who was still looking at her, and her only. 

“Yes! Go!” You say, gently pushing her away. Mina jogs up to Jeongin who greets her with a side hug. He quickly glances at you and you shoot him a thumbs-up, to which he grins. You loved playing Cupid.

With that, you decide to head to the kitchen to grab a drink. You pick a beer from the fridge, double-checking if the can is closed before opening it. 

You lean on the countertop, sipping on your drink while you watch the crowd, humming along each time a song you knew played. You enjoyed watching people dance freely from afar, with no apparent care in the world.

You feel someone stand next to you and you brace yourself, getting ready to tell the person off if they decide to bother you. You didn’t have the energy for mindless flirting. But then, you smell the cologne that has lingered around you for the past term- Minho. You haven't seen him since your dinner. That was a month ago.

"Fancy seeing you here," he greets as he leans on the counter right next to you, his eyes fixated on the mingling bodies.

You turn around to face him, faking an outraged gasp, "Are you following me?"

"Mmm. You look nice", he compliments and you smile cheekily, "I know."

"Won't tell me I look nice too?" he smirks, leaning closer to your face. "Someone didn’t get enough compliments tonight?" You pout, placing a hand on your heart in mock concern.

"I did, but I want to hear it from you. You’re the only sensible person in this room."

"You look nice. Now leave me alone."

"Come on, I know you can do better than that", he jokes and you roll your eyes, muttering “You’re annoying”, under your breath.

Still, you comply, placing your arms on top of the counter and leaning your head on them to get a better look at him. He does the same, smiling, and you both stare at each other for a while after that.

The strobing lights dance on Minho’s face, casting enticing shadows on him. You've always known he was a beautiful man; you've looked into his eyes far too many times in your heated conversations. But this time was different, there was no cheeky smirk on his face nor a furrow in his eyebrows. He was simply looking at you, and it made a pool of warmth huddle in your belly. You feel yourself relax under his gaze, everything around you seemingly melts away.

You weren’t wrong when you thought that his eyes were like a black hole, pulling you in. But this time, you realize that you didn’t mind knowing what was on the other side. On the contrary, you longed for it. 

"I like your eyes right now. They remind me of the night sky. Black, with tiny little stars littered in them," you finally say.

Minho is taken aback by your words, he wasn't expecting you to compliment him, let alone to tell him something so special. He can feel his cheeks burn red at your words, feel his heart hammering in his chest. He's afraid you can hear it too.

He doesn't know what to say, so instead he clears his throat, plastering a smirk on his face, "I heard better." He hasn't. This is the first genuine compliment he's ever gotten.

"Oh, fuck off," you laugh and he joins you. The music was loud and yet the only sound his ear seemed to pick up was your laugh.

"Are you here alone?" He asks, and you shake your head no, "Came with my friend Mina."

"Did she leave you by yourself?" He frowns and you feel yourself warm up at his worried tone. "I told her to go talk to Jeongin."

"Next time, don’t stay alone."

“Fine, Dad.” You chastise and he stares pointedly at you, "I’m serious, yn."

You take another swing of the beer before turning your body fully towards Minho. After a few beats of silence, you finally ask a question that has been on your mind for a while. "Why do you say my name this way?"

"What way?" He questions and you shrug, "Slowly. People used to always rush it but you don’t."

"Well, it’s a pretty name. It deserves to be pronounced as a whole."

You beam at his words; you smile so brightly it makes his heart skip a beat. This is the first time you’ve grinned this widely at him, no hand in front of your mouth as if to hide it. He did notice how you were a reserved person outside of class, as if you were afraid of taking up too much place. But he could tell you were slowly unraveling, growing bolder with each passing month. He wanted to tell you that if people like you spoke more, the world would be a far better place. 

But he couldn't bring himself to say all of this, so he forced those bubbling words down his throat. "I’m hungry," he whines instead and you laugh at his pout. "I'm kind of craving a greasy pizza."

"Should we go buy it? You can tell Mina to come so we can walk her back."

"I’ll ask her."

You shoot Mina a text, asking her where she was and telling her about your plan. She replies that she’s with Jeongin who just offered to take her home, so you could leave without her.

"We can go." You tell him and he nods. Minho shrugs his leather jacket off, gently placing it on your shoulders. His warmth engulfs you and you sink further into it. His arm hovers around your shoulder not touching you as he leads you out of the party. He has never touched your body, you note, it's like he was everywhere and nowhere at once.

You both walk to an open parlor near the frat house, and you order a Margarita pizza to share. You sit down on a nearby bench to eat it- the night breeze too liberating to pass up on.

As you both finish eating, a cat with white and orange stripes all over her body approaches the both of you cautiously, and you pat her head softly. "Aren't you the cutest thing ever?" you coo and Minho chuckles as he scratches the cat’s chin. She purrs at his touch appreciatively, and you smile at the soft look on his face. 

"Never knew you to be this gentle", you giggle and Minho shushes you, "Let's not do this in front of the cat."

"Why are you acting as if we are a divorced couple and she’s our child."

"Easy, yn. You make it sound as if you want me to marry you."

"Now you're just projecting," you chastise and he laughs, eliciting giggles from you. He had a melodic laugh, you noticed, and you always felt a surge of pride whenever you made him close his eyes and tip his head from laughter. You felt as if it's a sight only you can see.

"I have three cats", he says softly and you gasp, "Really? We spent all of our Sundays in a cat café and this is when you tell me?"

"I only tell my friends."

"So we're friends now?" You gush and he rolls his eyes at you, "I take it back."

"What’s their names?" You ask curiously and his eyes soften at your question- you could easily tell he loved them dearly.

"Soongie, Doongie, and Dori. They are rescues."

"That’s very sweet of you Minho."

"Most of my scars come from them though," he chuckles but you sober up at his words, quietly scratching the cat's ears.

"What’s on your mind?" He asks and you glance at him. It was scary how well he’s starting to know you. But it was also nice; to be known is to exist, after all.

"I just... Sometimes I wish that memories would leave physical scars on you. Because at least then, you could treat them, put a band-aid on, and watch them fade away day by day. Because when the scars are emotional, you can’t treat them, you know? And someday someone brings up a name or a place, or you smell a certain scent, and suddenly they reopen as if no time has gone by at all.”

Minho stays silent for a while, mulling over your words. You don't mind, you weren't expecting him to comfort you. You just needed to free those words from the mental prison you've held them in for so long.

"Do you know Kintsugi?" he finally asks and you shake your head no.

"It's a Japanese art. They put back together broken vases with molten gold. It represents strength despite our flaws."

"That sounds nice," you sigh wistfully and he nods. 

"It is. When you look at that vase, you know that it was once broken, but it doesn't take away from its beauty, on the contrary, it adds to it. Scars, whether they are emotional or physical are there for a reason. They remind us of how we pushed through whatever life threw at us."

"Am I supposed to be grateful I survived this?" You chuckle lowly, as your hand scratches the cat’s ear. Your fingers brush against Minho’s and you hesitate for a few seconds before moving them away.

"I wouldn't say grateful for what you went through," he speaks once again, "but grateful to yourself. At the end of the day, the reason why you're still here is you. You put yourself back together," he then bumps his elbow into your side softly, "and hey, even if your scars reopen there will come a time when they wouldn’t anymore. Sometimes, it takes a while to be okay again."

This was Minho’s way of telling you that someday it wouldn’t hurt anymore. That someday you’d be okay. And you needed to hear that. You needed to hear someone else other than yourself tell you that.

"Thank you, Minho, I needed that", you smile at him and he grins back at you before his smile turns to a smirk. "I charge 15 dollars for the hour by the way."

"Oh, come on! You didn't even say something revolutionary." You are lying. Minho's words will echo in your mind long after this night- a beacon of light to hold onto.

"Oh, so now it’s no longer ‘I needed that’. Tsk," he jokes a smirk still plastered on his face.

"Okay, Mr. Therapist. I’ll pay for your coffee tomorrow, sounds good?"

"I should have you as my client more often," he winks and you laugh, head tipped back. You were grateful more than ever for his teasing, loving how it wasn’t awkward between you after your discussion.

"You are a good listener." You tell him as you stand up, dusting your pants.

"I’m good at everything," he grins cheekily at you and you roll your eyes playfully, "And here I thought we were having a moment."

You both start walking side by side toward your home when Minho speaks again. His tone is quiet as if he wasn’t sure he wanted you to hear him. "About earlier, your compliment, I mean. I suppose I didn't thank you. So, thank you," he scratches the tip of his ears and you shrug nonchalantly. "It's the truth. You might get on my ass but that doesn't change the fact you are a pretty man."

He doesn’t respond and you tug at the sleeve of his shirt playfully, "You won't tell me I’m pretty too?"

"But then I’d be lying."

"Asshole."

"Pretty," he replies without missing a beat.

You laugh loudly, hand tightly clutching your stomach and he joins you. There is a newfound lightness in your steps now. Unbeknownst to him, Minho just managed to lift a small weight off your shoulders, allowing you a brief moment of respite.

"This is me," you say when you arrive in front of your apartment block, "Thank you for walking me home."

"Of course. Don't dream of me."

"Idiot," you laugh waving him off and he does the same. "Oh, and text me when you get home safely!" you shout before heading inside.

For the second time this night, Minho is blushing profusely at your words. He sighs to himself, waiting patiently until a light turns on in your place to leave.

✹✹✹

It’s been two months since the start of the new term. You still went to Limbo, every Saturday with Minho- even when you didn’t need to study. 

Sometimes you’d just grab a book and you’d both read, a cat lazily lounging at your feet. You started sitting at the same table too; you figured it was easier since one of you always pays for the other. When you have a bet, but also randomly, when you notice that the other person is feeling down and you want to cheer them up without saying anything.

That's why you bought three bubble teas for Minho in a row. He was quieter these days, you noticed. He didn’t talk to you nor did he retort back in class. It was the first time you’ve seen him this way. As if he was a simple shell of the person he usually is. 

You were walking out of your Communications Strategies class, which Minho weirdly didn’t come to when you realized that it was pouring rain. You smile lightly to yourself, grateful since you thought about picking up an umbrella this morning. 

As you walk through campus, everyone around you running to take shelter, you spot someone sitting on a bench, completely drenched from the rain. Their head is hung low and you frown to yourself. They would surely get a cold if they stay there.

But then the person raises their head and you quickly realize it's Minho. You jog up to him instinctively, standing in front of him and shielding him from the rain with your umbrella.

He looks up at you and you feel your heart clench. His eyes are void of emotion and he stares blankly at you. "Are you okay?" you ask and he blinks at your words, as if his brain hadn't yet registered that you were there.

"Yeah."

"You don't look like it", you tilt your head to the side and he looks down again. You have to strain to hear his next words, muffled by the rain and his mumbling, "I don't want to talk, yn."

You decide to put away your umbrella and sit down next to him on the bench. The rain falls rapidly on both of you, and you feel yourself grow cold from it. 

"What are you doing?" He questions, turning to the side to look at you.

"Enjoying the rain. It is kind of stupid that we have umbrellas, right?"

"You'll catch a cold."

"I mean we always complain about the drought and then when it rains, we hide from it. But it's really beautiful."          

"Stop, I don't want you to get sick."

"Well, neither do I. Let's go eat some soup. My treat."

"Yn, I don’t-"

"I thought you were smart enough to know I won't take no for an answer."

"But I-" you cut him off again. "Also, I’m doing this for me because when you order for two, they give you a lot of side dishes. Now come on."

You stand up and he looks doubtfully at you, before following suit. You open up the umbrella again and hold it over both of your heads. He has to huddle close to you, and your shoulders brush against each other. Once, twice. Not that you're keeping count. But your body is always hyper-aware of Minho’s proximity. You also notice how he silently moves from your right to your left, this way he's the one walking right next to the speeding cars. Your hold on the umbrella tightens. You were still not used to those small attentions of his. 

You arrive in front of your apartment block and he hesitates. "Come up, I won't murder you I promise." You joke and he smiles lightly back at your words. Progress.

He enters your dorm and you can see him eying his surroundings. You know that if it was another time, he would have teased you about something- anything. But he stays quiet, and you find yourself missing the sound of his voice.

"Would you like to shower?" You offer and he nods, "Please."

You lead him to your bathroom and show him where the washing machine is. "Put your clothes in there for a quick wash and dry. You can shower meanwhile."

He nods again as you hand him a towel. "I'll be outside."

You quickly leave the bathroom to place the soup orders, and Minho discards his wet clothes, walking into your shower. The water is piping hot, and he leans his forehead on the cold tiles. He doesn’t move for the first ten minutes, too tired at the prospect of lifting his limbs.

Nothing particular happened. But he’d go through days when he’d quiet down because everything around him was too much. The feel of his clothes against his skin, and the sun streaming through his curtains. But it always passes. Minho was a realistic man and he knew that his emotions would regulate themselves. That’s why he didn’t like appearing vulnerable in front of other people.

But for some reason, he didn’t mind lowering his guard with you. He knew you wouldn’t judge.

He sighs, grabbing your cherry-scented shampoo and pouring it into his hands. He can clearly smell you now. The scent of your hair that always tickles his nose, whenever you are sitting close to him. Your body wash is next and he wonders if this is how your skin smells, like vanilla and jasmine, and something entirely you. 

Forty minutes later, Minho finally steps out of the shower. His clothes are clean and he quickly puts them on. He dries his hair with the towel as he walks out of your bathroom towards the living room. 

He finds you sitting on the ground, in front of a heater that looks close to giving up. He makes a mental note of giving you the one he has since he doesn't really use it. You changed out of your clothes too, and you are now wearing a pair of pajamas with little bunnies sewn into it. The sight almost manages to make him smile. 

"Still cold?" you question when you notice him standing behind you, unmoving, and he shakes his head no.

"Good, the soup is here." You say cheerfully, pointing at the steaming bowls sitting on your table. Minho hums in reply and you stand up, grabbing the towel from his hands to place it on the drying rack.

You come back, a soft green blanket in your hands. You sit on the couch and pat the spot beside you. Minho sits next to you, and you lay the blanket on both of your laps, before handing him his soup.

You start the show you’ve been last watching, as you both eat in silence, your legs crisscrossed. You make some comments throughout the episodes. You figured that it was a safe territory, to talk about something as mundane as this. He didn't reply but you didn't mind. You weren't here to have a conversation with him. You just wanted to distract him.

You realize at that moment that Minho always looked so put together to you. But he had problems of his own too. That much was obvious. It made you feel closer to him, in a sense. You were both just trying to make it through the day.

Two hours later, you get up to grab a book, handing Minho the remote to put on a show of his own. You curl in a ball in the corner, reading where you left off last night.

"Can you... Can you read out loud?" Minho speaks for the first time in a while and you look at him. His eyes are closed, his head resting against your couch.

"Sure."

You start to read, and Minho further sinks into the couch. He feels at home here. Because the blanket is soft and the light is dim enough to not hurt his eyes. Or it could be that he smells like you, a scent so comforting he wants to bury himself in it. Or maybe it's your voice that floats through the air, slowly clouding Minho’s every sense. He feels as if he could see the words you were pronouncing dancing in front of his eyes. You enunciated each syllable clearly, making sure that no sound was forgotten.

As Minho gently drifted to sleep, he felt as if he was part of the words you read out loud. He felt as if you were treating him with the same care, making sure that he knew he wasn't invisible. At least not to you.

When you wake up the next morning, Minho is gone. And his place beside you on the couch is empty. He made you breakfast, scrambled eggs, and freshly pressed orange juice. And right next to it you find a note, "Thank you for reading to me."

✹✹✹

Minho didn't believe in having a lot of friends. He was content with the two people he had, Chan and Changbin. The latter was his high school friend, he skipped a year and ended up being in the same class as Minho. They didn't talk at first until the day Changbin dropped a book on Minho's foot. The brooding man started apologizing profusely, and that was the start of their friendship. They've kept in touch since.

Chan was his roommate at university. It's not that he particularly wanted to befriend him, but Chan was a social butterfly and he quickly managed to pull Minho into his friendly trap. He annoys Minho the most, but in an endearing way. And although Chan is older, Minho still strangely developed a soft spot for him. 

And he supposes he has you too now. At first, you weren’t friends, rivals at most. He enjoyed reeling you up and having you frown at his words in your heated debates. He also liked talking to you, because your ideas were interesting and you always gave him a new fresh perceptive to see things.

That’s how he strictly saw you as, an intelligent human who he liked to debate with.

But then he started to look forward to meeting up with you at Limbo. He no longer minded the fact that you took his self-assigned table, from his high school days. And he laughed more freely with you, enjoying how you always had a witty retort sitting at the tip of your tongue. 

That’s how he started to notice things that friends most definitely notice. How you have a charm bracelet you always fidget with whenever you are nervous. How you stray away from physical touch. How you scratch your eyebrow when you are deep in thought.

But also, how you seem to have an obsession with cherries. Your cherry pendant, your cherry-scented shampoo, and your cherry-tainted lips. A friend would most certainly think that your lips are like red wine-stained glass.

He remembers one of the many times when you were at Limbo, and he saw you reapply your lip tint, or so you called it. You caught him looking and he swiftly averted his gaze, but it wasn't quick enough. Suddenly you were in front of him, a tiny red bottle in hand.

"Let me apply it to you," you smiled and he pushed your head away with his pointer finger. "No."

"Please," you pouted and he couldn't help but find you adorable. You sometimes reminded him of a small kitten. But he didn’t dare to call you by that nickname. 

"Never."

"If I score more than you in our environmental assignment then I will do it."

"Fine." he huffed so that you'd leave him alone.

Minho didn't study for that assignment. He blamed it on a headache, not that it's ever stopped him before. And two weeks later you were in front of him, eyebrows scrunched in concentration. You applied the lip tint gently on his plump lips, carefully tracing over his cupid bow. 

Your face was mere inches away from his and he noticed how you were wearing a gloss today, for change. It was shimmering under the lights and he usually didn't like glittery things, but he couldn't take his eyes off your lips. 

"All done!" you clapped excitedly, snapping him out of his haze. You then shove your phone camera into his face so he'd look at the results.

"You should be a model. Your face is perfectly sculpted," you comment nonchalantly, before sitting back in your seat. 

“I know.” He replies confidently, but his hand kept fiddling with the tip of his now pink ears. He couldn't concentrate for the rest of the night.

You were his friend because he always worried if you were eating enough. That’s why he urged you to grab a bite in the convenience store near Limbo, whenever you finished up your studying late.

This was one of the many times you sat on the minuscule table outside, hot ramen bowls in front of the both of you. Minho huffed in annoyance between each bite, his bangs were getting longer, disturbing him when he leaned down to slurp his noodles. 

“Here,” you stand up from your place, a hair tie in your hands. 

“What are you doing?” He questions as you stand behind him. You don’t reply, silently grabbing his hair and putting it up in a tiny ponytail, this way it wouldn’t get in his eyes anymore.

“Voila,” you sit back down, resuming your eating. Minho was grateful for the dimly lit street because his entire face was burning up. Your fingers in his hair were gentle and he wondered how it would feel if you ran your fingers through it. 

This was something friends think about, right? 

"I’ll cut my hair tomorrow," he clears his throat. He didn't know why he told you. You certainly weren't interested in his hair endeavors.

"What?!" you yell, "Don't. Your hair is beautiful why would you cut it?"

"Because it's getting longer."

"But it suits you."

Minho also noticed how you always threw compliments his way. Not in a flirtatious way, but in a genuine one. He couldn't help but wonder what made you this way. Did you so freely give love to others because you knew how it felt to not receive it?

"I’ll still cut it."

Minho returned home; his hair still clipped back in a ponytail. Chan eyed him weirdly but he shut him off with a glare. The elastic remained at his bedside since.

He didn't cut his hair.

The moment Minho started to consider you a close friend, was when you invited him over to watch your show. You didn’t force him to open up that night, and he appreciated it, more than he let on.

That's how a week later, he finds himself walking towards your dorm again. The thoughts in his head got too much, and Chan was immersed in his makeshift studio, which meant he won't be free for the next four hours, minimum.

He didn't plan on going to you. It was late at night and you were probably asleep, but his feet naturally led him to the direction of your place.

He knocks softly on your door. He wasn't even sure if he wanted you to open. What would you think of him showing up at eleven pm? He should have thought this thro-

"Minho?" you call out, and he startles a bit, his feet already inching away from the door.

"This was a bad idea, I'm sorry," he starts to retract back but you grab the hem of his jacket to stop him. "Do you... Do you want to watch my show with me?" you ask, a soft smile on your face and he nods tentatively.

"Okay, come in," you open the door wider and Minho follows you inside. The look in his eyes reminds you of the day you found him sitting under the rain. You didn't like it, you wanted him to find his spark back, his usual demeanor. He wasn't deserving of anything but happiness.

"I’ve started a new show, this one's a bit more romantic, so don't go around imagining me as the main character," you tease and he scoffs at your words, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth.

He doesn't reply, but you don't mind. There was this secret agreement between the two of you, you would talk and he would listen. He needed the distraction, and you needed the company. Sometimes the line between alone and lonely blurs, and on days like these, Minho’s presence fills the void inside.

You comment on the scenes and Minho hums in reply, you watch three episodes in a row, and your eyes are getting drowsy, so you close them.

"Minho," you call out gently and he turns his head towards you.

"Yeah?"

"What color are you feeling tonight?" You ask, referencing to what he told you on your dinner celebration. That felt like an eternity ago.

"Black." You stay silent and Minho fidgets with his hands before speaking once again. "I feel a lot at the same time, too much of every color. That's why- that's why I said black."

"How can I help you feel yellow?"

"You already do." His admission came softly and it made your breath hitch in your throat. You wanted to open your eyes and look at him, but you figured it will only make him close off even more.

“Okay. Will you stay for breakfast?”, you whisper. You were very sleepy, the soft chatter of the TV and your hushed conversation were like a lullaby to you. 

"You want me to?" he asks, and he sounds so vulnerable you can't find it in you to say anything but the truth.

"I do," you admit, and that's the last thing you remember before sleeping.

Your head falls near Minho’s lap on the couch, your hair tickling his exposed thigh. Minho shouldn’t feel this way, he thinks. He’s sitting on the leather couch and his feet are touching the cold floor and yet all he can feel is three strands of your hair tickling him.

He glances at you, at your now parted lips and your relaxed eyebrows. His hand hovers over your hair, but then he curls it into a tight fist. What is he doing? He thinks to himself as he drags an angry hand through his face. He sighs, before standing up and grabbing the blanket you had on the opposing chair. He gently lays it on your body before sitting next to you once again. 

You told him to stay for breakfast. He’ll stay.

✹✹✹

2 months later

"Yn!" Minho shouts in your ear as he plops down next to you. You startle, dropping the book you were reading. 

"I hate you," you grumble, picking up your book and he smiles cheekily at you, "No you don't."

You were laying on the grass of your campus garden, in between two classes, trying to kill the time. It was April so the weather was perfect for lying under the warm sunrays. You loved spring, it always held within it the promise of a better time. 

"What are you doing?"

"I was reading before you got here and started to annoy me." 

"Don't mind me. Do your thing." 

"And what are you doing?"

"Enjoying the sun."

"You couldn't find any other place to do so?"

"Nope."

"You're annoying" You try to sound mad but the smile on your face betrays you. You started looking forward to any moment Minho randomly shows up throughout your day. Sometimes it's late at night when he's suddenly craving sushi and he drags you with him because if he's not studying then you shouldn't be too. 

Sometimes it's during the day, when he takes you to a new garden where he found the quote "cutest cats in existence". Not as cute as his cats, of course. 

Sometimes it's late afternoon when he just knocks on your door, and he's there with Chan-his roommate who sometimes joins your study sessions- snacks in their hands. You've learned that what Minho doesn't say in words, he compensates by spending time with you. And you didn't tell him but waiting for these moments has been the joy of your life for the past few weeks.

It made you feel excited- like a child waiting up for Christmas morning to discover what gifts they are receiving. 

So, you resume reading, as Minho is lying next to you. You could smell his pinewood cologne and you wished you could pour his essence into a bottle and carry it with you everywhere. 

You notice how the sun is hitting Minho’s eyes directly, and how his eyebrows are scrunched up at the aggression. So, you grab your book with your left hand, and hover your right one over his eyes, shielding him from the sun. Minho's breath tickles your hand and you can feel goosebumps rising through your skin. 

It's as if every physical proximity with Minho made you feel hyperaware of every part of your body, and how he can lighten it with a simple breath from his part. It made you wonder what it would feel to have his hands on your skin.

As if Minho heard your thoughts, he gently wraps his thumb and index finger around your wrist, steadying your hand in place so it wouldn't strain your arm. You suddenly don't know what page you are in, too overwhelmed by the feeling of his hands on you. 

His touch is very featherlight and you are afraid to move, to break the bubble you are suddenly pulled into. 

"Read to me," he tells you and you gulp. You never understood why Minho enjoyed it when you read to him. 

"Like my voice that much?" you tease, in an attempt to hide how affected you are. You were so close to him; it would be easy to slide down and lay your head on his chest. You wondered how his heartbeat would sound. Was it steady, or racing just like your own? 

"Yeah, it's calming," he replies sincerely, catching you off guard. You didn't expect him to compliment you, and now you are racking your brain for a retort, anything to make you breathe again. 

"Growing soft on me Minho?" you say, the same question you asked on your first dinner out. The first time you truly saw him, the first time you felt as if you were two pieces of the same puzzle, just waiting for someone to connect the both of you. 

He doesn't reply. And you sit there, patiently waiting. His first answer came so easily, so naturally, because he was being sarcastic, "I’m basically in love with you", he told you back then. So why can't he say it again?

"Yes, I am." He finally replies and you feel your breath catch in your throat. You try to account it for your brain misguiding you. It wasn't Minho speaking, it was the rustling of the leaves and the singing of the birds that you just heard. But it was him, and now his eyes are open and he's looking at you. Your hand is still shielding his eyes and his fingers are still wrapped around your wrist. And you are suddenly feeling. You are feeling too much. You don't know what to do with those feelings cursing through your veins and you can't face them. Because they are scaring you.

"I'll just... Yeah, I’ll just read," you say quietly, too flustered by his intense gaze. You were already on the other side, you realize. His eyes pulled you in and you were stuck in there, swimming in a pool of honey. 

"Out loud," he says and you chuckle, "Fine, Min." The nickname slips out of your tongue naturally and you quickly snap your head towards Minho to see if he noticed. 

His eyes are closed, and there is a slight smile on his face, and you can swear that he just repeated the nickname to himself softly. 

✹✹✹

You've been so sick these past days, you barely managed to go to class. Your head throbbed with pain and your entire body felt as if someone thoroughly boxed it. 

You were grateful that Minho reeled down his teasing because you had no energy to retort back. He may have noticed how sick you felt and truthfully it would be hard not to. You stayed silent throughout the day, and you looked so pale, you avoided looking at the mirror altogether.

Though Minho didn't talk to you, he still silently placed water bottles and some of your favorite snacks on your desk. You'd down the water, grateful for the relief it brought your sore throat. And when you didn't touch the food, he'd immediately text you 'Eat up', followed by a simple 'Please'. Having someone else care for your well-being felt weird, but it warmed your heart beyond what words could describe. 

You only came today to pass your Criminal Law mid-term, but your head hurt so badly that you weren't even sure what you wrote on your paper. The words blurred in front of your eyes and you almost slept in the middle of your exam, exhaustion threatening to take over your body. 

You fucked up, badly. You haven't screwed up this much in years.

You thought that you were slowly getting better since Minho surpassing you no longer sparked an unworthy feeling within you. But apparently, you were wrong to believe so. Self-doubt crept up within you once again, and the ugly feelings it stirred slowly clawed at your throat, making it hard for you to breathe.

It was one test, and yet it reeled you back ages ago. 

Tears threaten to spill out of your eyes as you hurriedly walk out of your class. You make a beeline for the library, figuring that it will be mostly empty by now. 

You pull out a chair and sit on it, lowering your head down so no one will see you. Your tears are falling rapidly and you hit your thigh repeatedly.  You hated how weak you felt in that instant. 

"Yn?", someone calls out and you curse internally. You don't have to look up to see who it is, Minho's voice has become a part of you- you could easily recognize it between a thousand mingling sounds. 

You don't want him to see you, especially not like this, weak and vulnerable and on the verge of breaking down. So you quickly slip a pair of sunglasses on your eyes, before raising your head to look at him. "Hm?"

"Are you okay?" he asks, his tone so soft it makes you want to cry ten times fold. You hated it, hated how attentive he was to you. You didn't deserve it. 

"Yeah, yeah. I'm just here to pick a book," you lie, abruptly standing up and heading toward the rows behind you. You desperately needed to get away from him. 

You pause in front of a random shelf and then you feel Minho standing behind you. You grab a random book and he peeks above your shoulder to see it, "Economics? You hate this subject."

"Why are you following me?" you turn around attempting your best to sound mad. When in reality, your heart was brimming with hurt. You wished you could get away from your body and seep into someone's soul to feel what it's like to love yourself.

"You aren't okay," he asserts and you hate it. You hate that he sounds so sure of himself. Was it that noticeable? Were you not fooling anyone?

"I am," your voice is shaking but you are adamant about contradicting him. You couldn't let him see you. What if he runs?

"Then..." he steps forward and you take a step back until your back is against the shelf. His left arm cages your body, but his right one stays by his side. He is leaving you an opening, you realize, an outing in case you feel uncomfortable. Against all odds, you don't.

 "Why are you hiding from me?" he asks, gently taking your sunglasses off your face, and placing them on the top of your head.

You don't look up at him, and he hooks his finger underneath your chin, gently raising your head. When your tear-stained eyes meet his, he frowns deeply, "Why are you crying?"

"it's nothing."

"Yn..."

"I fucked up, okay?! That was the worst test I’ve ever given in years." The tears start to flow at your words and you wipe them away aggressively. You despised crying in front of people. 

Minho raises his hand to wipe the tears away for you but he quickly retracts it- you probably wouldn't want him to touch your face. It was enough that he had grabbed your wrist a couple of weeks before this. He quickly racks his brain for something to do, because the sight of your tears is making his heart ache in a way he hasn't felt before. It's as if he's feeling your emotions deep within him.

In desperation, Minho pinches your arm and you yelp, startled. "What was that for?" you whisper-shout and he raises his hands in defense, "I didn't know what else to do."

"So, you thought about pinching me?" you chuckle in bewilderment and he scratches the top of his hair sheepishly. 

"I mean, it worked. Look, you stopped crying," he points out raising his brows at you proudly and you shake your head at him.

"Remind me to never cry in front of you again." 

Minho grins at you before his face turns serious once again. "Look, you are the smartest person I know," he pauses, adding with a cheeky smirk, "After me of course." Which makes you giggle against your will. 

"Shut up", you lightly punch his chest and he smiles. "One test doesn't define you. You always work very hard. I wouldn't lie to you."

"Mm," you hum and he frowns at your lack of enthusiasm, but still, he doesn't comment. 

"No more crying," he wiggles his finger in front of your face and you roll your eyes, wiping the rest of your tears away. "Fine. Pretend as if this never happened."

"What are you talking about?" he asks as if confused, and you can't help the smile tugging at the corner of your mouth. It's as if Minho knows exactly what to say to cheer you up. 

"Come with me," he tells you, gently pulling you by the sleeve of your hoodie. 

"Where to?"

"I’m craving ice cream."

"And why do you need me?"

"You're craving ice cream too," he says in a matter-of-a-fact tone. 

"Only if you're paying," you add with a giggle and he whines loudly, "I feel so so used around you." 

True to his words, Minho takes you to the nearest ice cream parlor. It's a 20 minutes walk away and you are grateful for the distance because it helps you clear your head a bit.

Minho lets you pick whatever flavors you want, and when you hesitate between two of them, he tells the cashier to put them both into your cup. This is how you end up with a container of 5 scoops of ice cream. You insisted you'd share, and Minho begrudgingly agreed when you threatened to walk out and leave him.

You then walk to a deserted alley and sit on the sidewalk. You didn't want to be around people right now, and thankfully, Minho understood without you having to say a word.  

You munch silently on your ice cream and Minho does the same, the both of you lost in your thoughts. You naturally take turns holding the freezing container, so it wouldn't numb the fingers of one of you.

When you're done, Minho stands up to throw it away in a nearby trashcan before sitting back again next to you. 

Suddenly you feel him gently tapping your hand. You look down to find that you've curled your fingers into a tight fist, so much that there are crescent indents visible on your palm now. 

"Let's play thumb war," he tells you and you giggle at his words. You never knew what to expect from him. 

Still, as your fingers hold each other, and your thumb circles one another, you feel yourself calm down slightly. You play a couple of rounds, and you know he's going easy on you, allowing you to quickly trap his thumb down. 

No one has gone to such lengths to cheer you up, and you suddenly feel so grateful for Minho’s presence in your life. You didn't care in what shape he was in, you just needed him to be in it. Which in turn makes you think how bad it'd hurt if he ever leaves. 

You don't want Minho to leave. You've gotten so attached to him that the thought of not talking to him again makes your heart race in panic. 

Minho notices the change in your expression, suddenly melancholic once again. Your hand has gone limp in his, the thumb war long forgotten by you. 

He curses under his breath, before looking at you. "If I dance for you, will you quit being so sad?"

"Dance for me?" you repeat incredulously and he nods, "Yes. I’ll show you an upcoming choreography just... Please smile?" 

"Okay," you giggle, plastering a wide grin on your face. 

"Not like that you look scary."

"Get to dancing!" you clap excitedly and he rolls his eyes, standing up and looking through his phone for a particular music. 

"Oh and no comment!" he looks pointedly at you, and you nod, pretending to zip your mouth and throwing away the key. 

'Finesse' by Bruno Mars starts playing and you are left mesmerized by the way Minho dances. It's short but it leaves you yearning to see more. His body moves smoothly, hitting each beat effortlessly. He made it look as if dancing was second nature to him, that it came as easily to him as breathing. 

You were speechless, rightfully so. You wished you could build a world where all Minho did was dance. 

"That was-" you start when he stops the music but he cuts you off instantly, "I said no comment."

"But--" Minho places his finger on your mouth to silence you, seemingly not thinking too much of it. But the feel of his finger on your lips makes you dizzy. Minho quickly takes off his hand, a blush evidently creeping up his neck. 

"Let's just go home," he sighs in defeat and you laugh despite the intense feelings cursing through you.

You don't know if you are imagining it but you swear that your pinkies brush against each other on your walk back. As if there was this magnetic force pulling them together. You wondered what would happen if you just linked your pinky with his. Would he grab you by the hand or will he let go of you entirely?

You were too much of a coward to find out. You were scared of messing up anything with him. So, you'd settle for this. Stolen glances and random outings. You just need him in your life. 

"Thank you for today," you tell Minho once you arrive and he shrugs, as what he did wasn't a big deal.

"No, I mean it. Thank you," you repeat, trying your best to convey how sincere you were being. You take in a deep breath, before grabbing his hand and squeezing it, for a fleeting second, before dropping it again. 

Minho is sure that your hand will now be imprinted into his, that the lines tracing over your palm will merge with his as one. Your touch was barely there but it had electrocuted him. He wondered to himself if his body would be able to handle more from you. But he'd gladly burn in your fires for the sake of holding you. And he'd wait, unwaveringly, as time stretches alongside the two of you. He'd wait as long as it takes for you. 

"Yn, I..." he stammers, taking a step closer to you. His scent engulfs you and you shamefully close your eyes, inhaling it. When you open them again, you find Minho glancing down at your lips. You gulp, dazzled by his proximity. 

"You have a mole on your nose," you suddenly speak up and his eyes snap back to yours, an adorable confusion drawn on his features. 

"I like that mole," you continue and you wish you could dig yourself a hole and bury yourself in it. 

"Thank you," he chuckles and you nod vigorously, "You're welcome." 

"Can I ask you something?" he says and your breath hitches in your throat. "Sure."

"You don't like it when people touch you, right?" 

"Yeah."

"Can I ask why?" 

You want to confide in him, to tell him that it’s because you long for it, you crave it so badly. That this need has woven itself into the very fabric of your being. An ache so raw that it scares you at times. You’ve never known what it feels like to be held- it was uncharted territory to you. 

"Isn't everyone scared of the unknown?" you settle on saying, and he nods in understanding. Of course, he understood. No one knows you as well as him. 

"It's okay. I just wanted to know if I ever overstepped my boundaries."

"You didn't," you reply instantly. 

"Good. You'll tell me if I ever do, right?"

"I will." 

"Okay." 

"Um. I'll get going," you point behind you and Minho smiles at you, waving you off.

You walk for a few steps before coming back again quickly. You then grab Minho’s hand, gently squeezing it like before, "You are an amazing dancer." 

And then you drop it, running back towards your apartment block without waiting for a reply. 

Minho stays frozen in his place. You think he's an amazing dancer. And you held his hand for five seconds. 

That's four seconds more than the first time. 

Progress.        

✹✹✹

You haven't gotten out of your house for the past three days. 

Everything crashed around you rapidly, it made you realize that the ground you once stood on was only an illusion, elusive and fleeting. 

You were doing well; you were getting better. But then Monday came and you went out for a walk in the park near you. As you sat there, you saw a little girl playing on the swings, delightful joy dancing across her features. But then she fell to the ground and you instinctively stood up to help her, only to notice her mother running to her. 

The world stilled around you as you clearly saw it- how the little girl clung to her mother's embrace, her embodiment of hope and love. You never had that. You don’t even know what perfume your mother used because she never allowed you to get that close to her. 

You stood up abruptly, quickly heading back to your apartment block. As you ran up the stairs, you ended up bumping into one of your neighbors. You were quick to apologize but they ignored you, and the feeling of being invisible came back to haunt you ten times fold. 

You knew you shouldn’t have done it, you knew you should have deleted your mother’s number when she sent you away to university without a backward glance, relieved at the thought of you getting a full-ride scholarship and not needing her anymore. But you didn’t, you kept her number in the hopes that she’d call. On your birthday, on holidays, on a random Thursday to tell you that she did remember who you are. 

With trembling hands, tears welling in your eyes, you dialed your mother’s number for the first time in a year. You didn’t know what you were expecting. Maybe she regrets it. Maybe she misses you. Maybe she didn’t find the courage to mend her wrongdoings and that's why she never called. 

"Hello?" her voice rang through your apartment. Goosebumps erupted on your arms and your hold on the phone tightened. Her voice took you back to memories you thought you had buried. How you spent countless nights yearning to hear the sound of her voice, how you regretted it once she spoke to attack you.

You hate her. You miss her. You want to hang up. You need to ask if she's doing okay. 

“Who is this?” Her voice was devoid of recognition, freezing you in your tracks. You felt as if a bucket of ice was thrown over your head, dousing the flame of hope that flickered in your heart. 

She deleted your number.

You quickly hung up, placing your phone down on the table. The tears refused to fall. It was as if your body had long anticipated this outcome, leaving only your wounded soul to bear the pain. 

Healing isn't linear, you've read about it in books and heard it in shows and movies. One step back doesn't mean that your entire progress is gone. You know this, you've memorized those sentences. So why do you not believe them? Why does it feel as if you can never be free from the past? Why does it feel as if you’ll always seek something out of her? 

Those questions roamed your mind for the past three days, making you too tired at the prospect of lifting your limbs, let alone leaving your apartment. You sent your two friends a text, telling them that you're sick so they wouldn't worry. Not that you believed they would. Nothing made sense to you anymore.

You laid on your bed in utter silence- a tense quiet that was disrupted on the third day by someone knocking on your door. You didn't know who was there; you just hoped that they'd leave you alone.

To your surprise, you open the door to find Minho, some notes in his right hand and a coffee in his left. He sends an easy smile your way. You don't smile back.

"What do you want?" your voice is cold, but Minho doesn't bristle. A cheeky smile settles on his lips as he leans on your doorway.

"You didn't come to class for the past three days, so I brought you the notes. So, you wouldn't think our competition is unfair."

"Competition," you chuckle coldly, heading inside your apartment, and he follows suit. You start to pace around furiously, and Minho looks at you worriedly. "Competition?" you repeat, the word dripping off your tongue like venom. You turn around, marching towards Minho and standing a few inches from him. "You know what? Fuck you and your competition!"

"Yn-"

"Did it ever occur to you that I never wanted a part in this competition? That all I wanted was to be left alone?" you say, growing louder as you jab your finger into his chest repeatedly. "I never wanted any of this! Do you understand? I never wanted to be this way," you shout angrily in his face.

The worried look in Minho’s eyes snaps you out of your haze. You realize that you are being utterly ridiculous lashing out at Minho, when the one person you are mad at is yourself. 

Your anger quickly deflates, leaving in its trail an agonizing sadness. It's so sudden that it knocks the breath out of you, and you clutch your chest as if it could soothe the burn in your heart. Suddenly you are twelve years old again, crying in your room because you feel like no one has ever loved you.

But this time you aren't alone. Minho is in front of you, and his eyebrows are so furrowed you want to lean forward to ease the tension between them. His eyebrows, you liked his eyebrows, they were arched, and they framed his eyes nicely, and his eyes are brown and so big, and they always look at you softly and why is it getting so hard to breathe-

"Did I do something to you? Whatever it is I’m sorry," Minho panics, cutting off your frantic train of thought. But now, the weight of guilt adds to your overwhelming emotions. You shouldn't have lashed out at him, he brought you coffee and you yelled at him. Maybe your mom was right after all.

You shake your head left and right furiously, your words coming out in hiccups. Since when did you start crying? "It isn't- it isn't you."

"Then let me help you-", he steps forward, hand outstretched, but you take three hurried steps back and wrap your hands around yourself protectively. "Don’t. Please, don't."

"Why are you pushing me away?" his tone isn't accusatory. You've learned time and time again that Minho wouldn't do anything that made you feel uncomfortable.

"You won't understand."

"Then make me."

"Because I’m afraid!" the words slip out of your mouth before you can stop them. "I’m afraid if you ever hug me, I wouldn't be able to go back to hugging myself. I'd need you and I can't afford to need someone else."

You regret the words as soon as they fleet away from your mouth. He would look at you differently, he would find you pathetic and then he’d leave. And you wanted him to leave. But you also wanted him to stay. It was all so confusing. 

You felt as if your being was torn between two great forces, each one of them trying to win the war raging inside you. You wished someone else would make the decisions in your place, for once.

Minho places the coffee and notes on the ground before approaching you, his palms facing up in a gesture of surrender. "I won't leave you," he says softly. "I’ll be by your side for as long as you'll have me."

"Minho..." your voice catches in your throat as you utter his name- like a broken prayer. He stands before you, his eyes shimmering like the reflection of a river on a sunny day.

"Please, let me make it better." 

You nod tentatively and Minho comes even closer to you. He was treating you like one would with a wounded animal, giving you a chance to ultimately back out. But for once, you listen to what your heart has been yearning for. Your bones are aching to be held, to feel the warmth of a body against your own, to feel safe and secure. 

Minho embraces you, wrapping his arms around your shoulders and bringing you to him. You slowly bring your arms up and lace them around his waist. You are afraid, deathly afraid. His grip is loose, and you almost can't feel him around you, but when you lay your head on his chest, he tightens his hold on you and you instinctively let out a sob. 

He's hugging adult you, the woman whose heart was once again broken by her mom. But he's also hugging little you, the girl who was craving affection from everyone around her. In that instant, Minho is hugging every single version of you that ever needed a hug. 

You were right to be scared because you don't want to let go, you want to stay in his arms because they feel safe, like a shield protecting you. You can't go back to not hugging Minho. 

The sensation is overwhelming and your knees buckle underneath you. But instead of holding you up, Minho falls to the ground with you, as if you are two inseparable pieces of one puzzle. He isn’t here to fix you, he’s here to break down with you and help you pick up the scattered pieces.

You think back to that night in the park when Minho told you about Japanese vases. At this moment, it dawns on you that Minho has found a way to become a part of you. He was the molten gold binding your broken parts together. He was the invisible thread stitching your wounds back together.

Who were you fooling? It was him; it was him all along. 

Minho rocks you gently as you cry and cry and cry. His hand finds your hair and he plays with it as you sob. He tells you you'll be okay, you'll feel better and you try to believe him, his words wrap around your bruises like a healing balm. 

"There, there, love. You are okay", he murmurs, tenderly patting your head. A fresh set of tears wells up in your eyes. Love.

"I’m sorry. I'm so sorry," you apologize as you pull away from his embrace. 

"Why are you apologizing? Is it because you wet my shirt? I don't mind," he reassures you with a smile and you shake your head. 

 "I was mean to you and you didn’t deserve it," you explain through hiccups.

"It's okay, you weren't mad at me, were you?" he asks, wiping your tears away so gently with his thumbs, careful not to irritate the sensitive skin.

"No. Still, it isn't okay and I’m sorry. I'm so sorry." 

"Shh, don't apologize. It's okay." you look at him doubtfully and he rolls his eyes playfully, "Here I’ll even do your silly pinky promise, okay?" he laces his pinky with yours, but then he suddenly leans forward and places a chaste kiss on your thumb pad. "There, sealed forever."

You giggle faintly as a blush dusts your cheeks, "That's not how it works."

"I know."

Your giggle was far different from the ones Minho was accustomed to. It was small, and it didn't brighten up your face like usual. But he was grateful for it nonetheless. He realized how much he missed your laugh, and how all the other sounds in the world pale in comparison to it.

In that moment Minho thinks to himself that he'd do anything to make you smile again. He'd make a fool out of himself if it meant making you happy. He'd settle for a simple tug at the corners of your mouth, anything but the sadness that seemed etched in your face, as if it was blended into the colors that drew you.

You tentatively move around, before laying your head on his lap. Minho's hand instinctively finds your hair and he starts to gently play with it. It feels as if you've done this a million times before, when in fact it was the first. 

There was something wildly intimate about laying on the floor with the man who just comforted you. It made you want to spill all your secrets to him, one by one, and have him hug you through them.

"Did you mean it? When you said you'll stay?" you felt so vulnerable in his hold, as if he could twist you whoever he liked. But you trusted him. You trusted yourself with Minho.

"I did. Your walls are always up. It's hard to peek behind them. But I don't want to tear them down. I want you to slowly unbuild them. I want you to do it for yourself."

To do it for yourself, it's hard to even know who you are anymore. 

"I want to tell you."

"You don't need to."

"I know, but I want to."

"Okay. Take your time, kitten." he pats your head gently, and you try to sync your breathing to the rhythm of his touch. You were grateful that you were lying on his lap since you couldn't see his face. It made talking feel a little less daunting.

"On my 9th birthday... I was very excited. I'd been on my best behavior that month, trying to please my mom in the hope that, for once, we'd celebrate my birthday. Like a normal little family," you smile sadly, you were so hopeful back then.

"My birthday came, I woke up, excited. My mom was still asleep, nothing out of the ordinary. So, I made my breakfast and walked to my school. I wore my prettiest dress and put on pigtails with hair clips. It was my birthday after all," Minho smiles softly at your words, his hand now resting on your own.

"I got back home and waited for my mom to come back. She remembered my birthday, I thought. And then, she came but she didn't talk to me. So, I thought, oh a surprise party!" you chuckle, but this time the smile on Minho’s face is gone.

"It was then 11 pm, and the hope had slowly died in me. So, in my stupid innocent self, I went to my mom, and asked her "Did you forget my birthday?". And I remember... I remember the way she laughed. Cruelly. Like I had told her the funniest joke in the world. And then. Then she looked me dead in the eye and said 'I hate the fact that you are born. Why would I celebrate that?'"

Minho sucks in a deep breath at your words, and you exhale one right out. It felt comforting, to have someone else stomach the hurt for you. To take the weight off your shoulders, allowing you a few moments to breathe.

"I confronted her about it one day, but she said she doesn't remember saying that. It's funny how it was a random Thursday for her, but for me, it shaped my life." you smile bitterly, "I remember how jealous I was of the way the other kids talked about their mothers. They said the word so lightly. It must have reminded them of sunshine and ice cream and rainbows. But for me, it held an uncharacteristic heaviness to it. I grew to hate the word."

"I drove myself crazy, Min", you whisper and he brings you closer to his body, "was it me or was it her? When did it start? Was it because I was too loud as a child or maybe too quiet? Did I not cater to her fantasies of a kid? I wanted to remember every single thing that happened throughout my childhood, thread through every single memory. I tried to pinpoint the exact moment my mom stopped loving me."

Minho squeezes your hand tightly in his, and you feel as if he was pulling you away from the memory that had long trapped you. You were now watching it unfold from outside of the window, your hand in his, safe from the hurt it had inflicted on you.

"It's not you. It could never be you. Some people are simply not fit to be parents. It's never their kid's fault."

Minho tries his best to keep his touch soothing, to make his voice sound as soft as possible. But he was angry, he was so angry at the world for not taking care of you when you were younger. His heart broke, thinking of 9-year-old you being told such cruel words.

He wanted to turn back time and tell you that you were enough. He wanted to make the pain that seemed so anchored in you float back to the surface, and dissipate like sea foam meeting the shore.

But he couldn't do that. All he could do is comfort present you.

Minho gently pulls you up from his lap, making you sit upright. He crisscrosses his legs and you do the same. Your knees brush against each other and you feel a shiver run down your spine. You didn't know that even knees could emanate such warmth.

"Yn, look at me. The world wouldn't be the same without you in it," he cradles your face between his hands, "You hear me yn? I’m so thankful you exist."

His doe brown eyes are sincere, and it made you want to believe him badly. That's a good start, right?

"I’ll be back," he tells you, letting go of your face and standing up.

You hear Minho rummaging through the kitchen and you take the time to calm yourself down. Sharing those parts of you with Minho felt therapeutic. As if you were healing parts of your inner child. You have never talked about this with anyone before, maybe this is why it still hurt as badly.

Minho comes back five minutes later, his hands behind his back. You raise a brow at him inquisitively and he just smiles secretly at you. "Close your eyes," he tells you and you giggle, doing as he says. He crouches in front of you, and you hear him shuffle in his place for a bit.

Then, "Open your eyes yn," and you find him, in front of you, a cupcake you had stored in your fridge in his hands, and a makeshift candle lit up. "Happy 9th birthday, love. You did well."

You stare at him in utter bewilderment. You couldn't believe your eyes. How could this man be so thoughtful? He was wishing you a belated birthday, to compensate for the 9th birthday you didn't celebrate.

You panic, at the look in his eyes. You've never seen it, never dared to dream of it, of someone caring for you unconditionally. So, you try to scare him, to push him away. You didn't want him to regret knowing you.

"There are things I need you to know um", you chuckle nervously, "When I... When I throw up, I hold my hair, and when I’m sick I nurse myself back to health, and when I have a nightmare I- I hold my hand in the dark. It will be hard for me to hold yours instead."

"We'll start a finger at a time, yeah?"

"It will take time."

"I have time," he speaks easily, as if loving you was effortless and not a strenuous task. You couldn't fathom it.

"You are too busy-", he cuts you off instantly, "Not for you." 

"The world doesn't stop because we need it to." Your voice is quiet; this is your very last try. You are tired of fighting. You are putting down your armor and waving a white flag.

"We'll make it stop. Here, the two of us. On this floor. We'll take as long as we need to."

"I never deemed you as an optimist", you smile a little, a hint of teasing in your tone.

"I’m not," he pauses, gazing down at the cupcake between his hands and then at you. "But I feel that we deserve a bit of happiness together, don't we?"

"We do."

"Then make a wish."

You close your eyes for a few seconds, before blowing on the candle.

"What did you wish for?" he asks a fond smile on his face.

The answer came naturally to you, you didn't even need to think about it. "I wished for you."

Minho's lips come crashing down on yours, and you imagine that this is what it feels like to see colors for the first time. To discover a new world beyond the one you've always known.

The kiss isn't urgent nor feverish, it is one of comfort. Your lips spilling the words you have not yet said to each other. "I love you," he kisses you, "I love you too," you kiss him back. "I need you to stay," you swipe your tongue across his bottom lip, "I’m never leaving you," he opens his mouth allowing you entrance.

As you kiss him, you remember a fact you once learned in high school. The human body possesses seven trillion nerves. And for the first time in your life, you feel as if each of these nerves is alive. You feel that even the smallest atom is electrocuted with Minho’s love and it’s all you know within you.  

You feel as if the pain, the hurt, and the ache you've been through are slowly unraveled, and in their place, a timid happiness is starting to bloom. You imagine that when Minho’s lips met your own, the seven trillion nerves inside you exhaled in relief 'We've made it', they said, 'we'll finally be okay.'

Epilogue

You've always thought that epilogues were useless. How can you resume the rest of your life in one sentence, boil down the rest of your existence in mere pages? Because life doesn't stop at the epilogue, and a new book can start once again, right where you left it off.  

But with Minho, you didn't mind an epilogue. On the contrary, you longed for a soft one. You wanted to rest on this last page, you wanted to lay your worries on the words and tuck them into the syllables. And you wanted to wake up anew.

And this wasn't the end of your story with Minho. A lot happened after it. But it didn't worry you, because epilogues are about the one thing that doesn't change throughout the long march of time. And luckily for you, that constant was Minho’s love for you. From that day he held you, he has never let go.

It took time, for his warmth to seep through your bones. It took time, for your heart to forget the cold. But you wanted to do it. With him. You wanted to love and be loved.

The sound of cats mewling fills your apartment, pudding can always be found in your fridge and you haven't felt invisible in years.

[alloydia]

different anon but RE: that ask about the pruita/gerita dynamics and their body language. you're so good with drawing subtle expressions and body language that i did manage to catch onto the intended meaning. your skill in expressing their characterization is actually insane. the way that feli has his face obscured/partially obscured in some of drawings or just doesn't look all that happy. the way gilbert always looks smug, like he's toying with feli, or even creepy perhaps. he always either has his hands on feli, almost looking like he's pulling him around like a puppet. or when he doesn't, like that one drawing of him with his hands behind his back, it all looks like it's just a show. unlike ludwig who holds a lot of tension in his shoulders, gilbert is relaxed and confident. he looks like he knows he's got feli under his thumb. i love unhealthy relationships like this when theyre not necessarily good people. adds a lot of depth and intrigue to the relationship, especially when i don't see this being done a lot in pruita. don't get me started on the tensions between ludwig and gil, and how ludwig is both 1. correct about gilbert not deserving feli and 2. incorrect in that this thought is fueled by his jealousy. overall very high quality work and amazing attention to detail with these characters.

Holy shit anon yes!! YES!! English is not my first language so it's hard for me to explain their dynamics, but you got it. You put it into words!!

He has his hands on Feli as a way to establish his presence and authority. "I am here", "I can do whatever I want", and "I can make you do whatever I want".

When he keeps his hands to himself, it's a way to push Feli to initiate things. So Feli can convince himself that he wants to do whatever that is.

You don't see it being done a lot in pruita because the base ship itself is wholesome.

Ludwig holds a lot more tension on his shoulders because he's actually fighting on the front line.

Gilbert is a proud Prussian. I want him to lean hard into the Prussian virtues—militaristic, blind obedience to commands. Though at the end that proudness will be the end of him.

And anon I have read this ask like 15 times. Thank you so much for your kind words. You have no idea how happy I am when I received this. I REALLY didn't expect anyone to look deep into my drawings, their body language and expression and everything, then speculate their dynamics/behavior correctly! It's just insane to me!!

[wqxianwriting]

how to make a golden retriever happy.

SLIGHTLY proofread | f!reader | poly relationship with nick & charlie though reader isn’t dating charlie | pretty damn long i got ahead of myself, sorry :,) | they’re so cute but im so bad at details fr | lunch date, walks, stargazing w fireflies & movie night! (you got headbands to wear… guess what movie charlie is having y’all watch rn) | what is stargazing | author questioning what color sonic’s eyes are | theres some crying at the end and a mention of breaking up but its just those negative thoughts actin up, theyre all okay :) | angst/comfort? | not many kisses unfortunately but THERE ARE SOME, like three scenes… two? | there is cussing, not much | nick & reader flashbacks

#%a/n%#;; first request done! thanks for it, they mean so much to me. i didn’t wanna make it too long but here we are lolol, hope it’s enjoyable though 🥹💜 also ntm on your family details but your mom does appear and she has a “set” personality! no one else appears though so you can imagine the reader’s family how you want, though it is mentioned your mom is married. also note, since reader is a lady she goes to the same school as like, elle darcy tara (and probably imogen too, right?). meant to post this yesterday but i wanted to add some stuff at the end haha, sorry sorry this is a whole ass wattpad book fr, feel like i wrote so much and nothing at the same time. hope you enjoy if you give it a read thought fhdhdj

OH YEAH last thing, the emotions in this story is kind of a whiplash 💀 one minute they’re happy the next theyre kinda sad or bittersweet so- hopefully the pacing doesnt seem bad… BE WARNED. shouldn’t be too crazy. okay thats it this time do enjoy

character(s):

nick & charlie (heartstopper)

elle & tao cameo

reader’s mom omg she’s a sweetheart, charlie’s parents are mentioned/super small cameo, nick’s mom also has a small cameo/is mentioned

darcy, imogen and sahar are very briefly mentioned!

The sweet sound of the school bell rings throughout and the school and every single student sighs in relief of the noise. You glance up at the clock on the wall before looking around the classroom where students are packing up their bags while talking noisily to one another.

You allow yourself to recline in your chair, left arm reaching back to where your backpack dangles off the seat and slide your hands into the side pocket, grabbing your phone.

Nicky Ricky Dicky: I’m alive!

Char: you live! i live too :) wanna walk together today or are you both busy? (gonna pick you up bestie)

Y/N: i’ll meet you outside (ty loveliest)

Char: awesome!!! nick?

Nicky Ricky Dicky: Sorry aha, I need to go home quickly today but I’ll be sure to join tomorrow!

This makes you pout and you can imagine your bestfriend having the same expression because the sad emoji he wrote in the group-chat even makes you sadder.

Char: ☹️

Y/N: don’f worry charlie

Y/N: Don’t*

Nicky Ricky Dicky: Sorry :,)

Char: It’s fine! Do what you have to do… we gonna facetime tonight though?

Char hearts your message ‘don’f worry charlie’.

Nicky Ricky Dicky: No promises but I’ll do my best. 😠❤️

Nicky Ricky Dicky: i gtg now, love you both <3

Y/N: lym! ❤️

Char: love you! ❤️❤️❤️

Y/N: three hearts 🥹

Char: y/n. STOP. come outside before i die

Y/N: omg… such a drama king like okay

You write and yet, you’re quick to jump from your chair and snatch your bag before sliding it on your shoulder. You push in your chair and skip out into the hallways where you see Elle. “Heya, Elle!”

She smiles warmly and waves goodbye to her friends before stepping in sync with you. “Hey there, Miss, didn’t catch your name.” You bump her shoulder and she bumps you back. “What’re you up to?”

“Charlie’s gonna come pick me up, hopefully via bike… mines broke the other day.” You sigh and she gives you a look of pity while trying to bite back a grin. Then she perks up.

“Not Nick?”

You shake your head, rubbing a hand against your temple. “Mm-mm, you ever just get a feeling something is off?”

Elle nods, turning her face away from you and her hands grip onto the handle of her bag that bounces against her legs. “Yeah, just putting it out there… graduation may be on his mind, I know its on mine and it’s been kicking my ass to be honest,” You wrap an arm around her in comfort and she hums in appreciation. “Just all that weird stuff, weird thoughts and anxiety…” Then she pauses, raising a hand and flicking her wrist. “Okay- not weird, but you know.”

That makes you snort, “Yeah, I get’cha… maybe, but we’ve always been open about that kind of stuff, I just don’t understand why it’d be a issue… I mean, we’ve talked about it many times before so it’s kind of odd, I guess?” You and Elle share a look of confusion before shrugging.

“Maybe it’s been having more of an impact y’know? You can speak easily about something when you’re not there yet but… graduation is coming up and everyone is worried about the future. You know how things don’t hit you till it’s happening literally next week or something? Maybe its hitting harder.”

Your heart clenches in pain at those words. She’s not wrong, there is a high chance it’s staring to affect him more… hitting harder than you’d know. You nibble on your bottom lip in concern and furrow your eyebrows,

“Well. If he’s being an idiot and isn’t gonna come to us about it then I’ll beat him up.” You place your hands on your hips, lightly joking to disperse the tense air between the two of you. Of course he isn’t being an idiot but you refuse to let him stress on his own. Elle chokes out a laugh in surprise.

“Oh god, he better run, she’s scary when she’s angry.” One of her hands let go of her bag and she hold her stomach while laughing a bit more. “Wouldn’t that be a sight?”

You scoff, “Like we haven’t argued before.”

“You argue about literal video games.”

“Stop.” You laugh and push at her shoulder. “Oh, and Elle, you know I’m your friend and if you ever need an ear to lend about college talk or need help to get your mind off of it to just relax, you got me.” She stares at you for a few beats before cracking into a grin.

“Thank you, Y/N. You know you got me too.”

Outside the school building you’re quick to spot two familiar figures by the gate. “Yes, he’s here!” Your arms raise in celebration then instantly flop down, “There’s no bike…!”

Elle calls out which makes the two boys stiff in seconds.

“Get your butts over here, Mr. Xu and Mr. Spring!” They awkwardly crane their necks to your direction and simultaneously sigh in relief – probably thinking you were teachers.

“You nearly gave me a heart attack!” Tao exclaims as you and Elle once you’re right infront of the two, gesturing to his heart. Elle is quick to place a hand over his chest – Tao’s cheeks lowkey reddening but you decide not to point it out for his sake – and her eyes widen a bit.

“Tao, your chest is gonna shoot out your chest.”

“See?”

“That is the goal, sire.” You finger gun at him and he smacks your hand away lightly with an exasperated look. It makes you giggle. “Elle is just feeling a little silly today.”

“It’s my agenda.” She grins before engulfing Charlie into a hug and he squeaks in surprise before squeezing her back. “Hello, Charlie!”

“Are you sure your heart isn’t pounding because you’ve gotten your daily dose of Elle?” You whisper while stepping in line next to Tao, facing your head to your other friends but you can see him tense at the corner of your eye.

He pinches his nose bridge, mumbling and you catch some of the words, suspiciously sounding like him saying he’s gonna fight you. His cheeks bloom a rosy rose so you take the win either way and smugly smirk at him.

“Hi, Elle!” His muffled laugh catches your attention, making you and Tao smile at the interaction before you wrap an arm around the latter, making him eyeroll, of course he does, but he wraps an arm around your shoulder and gives you a light squeeze in response.

“We best be off on our merry way,” You speak up, checking the time as the two friends let go of eachother. “I wanna stop by that new shop that opened a few weeks ago… Is that fine, Char?”

He gives you a thumbs up and Elle speaks, “Let me know how their desserts taste, I’ve been wondering but honestly they don’t look that good so…” She stares at you with a grimace before shrugging.

“Noted~” You say in a singsong voice before wrapping your arms around Charlie. “I’ll call you later, enjoy your afternoon date.” You and Charlie give the couple teasing grins and they take the bait, looking away in shyness but Tao takes the initiative and connects their hands together. It makes you melt.

“Shut up.” He groans, snapping but tone very much unthreatening adding on the fact he’s trying to cover his flustered face with his free hand.

“Yes, yes grumpy old man, we’ll see you later.” You and Charlie waist no time to start down the road with waves.

“Bye!” He shouts.

“I’m not a grumpy old man!” Tao stomps his foot, comedically. Right. How could you make that mistake?

“Bye, Y/N and Charlie!” Elle laughs with a wave and tugs her totally-not-grumpy boyfriend off in the other direction. You watch their hands tighten around eachother, squinting in amusement when Tao’s scowl instantly softens into a lovestruck gaze.

“Ahhh, young love.”

“You’re starting to sound like the old one here.” Charlie snickers, hands coming up to hold onto your forearms that are still bounded around him.

“You wound me, Char.” You squeeze him and he huffs. “I literally think the same when you and Nick are interacting, it’s so,” You make weird noises, fingers wiggling. “Y’know? Very sweet. Very cute, I even have some photos of you latching onto eachother while sleeping. Wanna see-?”

His brain feels like it’s shutting down, lightly smacking your arm when you lift it as to grab your phone. “Stop it.” You could practically see those animated stars swirling around his head and laugh.

You relent and unwrap your arms with a cheeky smile. He glances at you before hiding his face in his hands. “Ughh, whatever. You act like you don’t jump Nick the minute you see him.” Yeah, that’s crazy. You feel your own cheeks flaring up.

“You must be blind.”

“No, no, no. Don’t do that.”

“Do what?”

“Lie!” He exclaims in a joking tone, uncovering his face and poking you in accusation. You lean away, losing your balance and forcing yourself to lean on your tippy toe. Your other foot comes down onto pavement with a stomp and you twirl like you’re dancing. Charlie definitely notices this misstep, doesn’t say anything but you see his shoulders shaking in silence. He’s laughing.

“I never lie?” You pick off the conversation.

“Was that a question?” He tilts his head back at you.

“No?”

He stares at you, eyebrow twitching and you puff out your cheeks like a frog, looking anywhere but in his direction. “You’re awfully cheeky today.”

“How am I being cheeky?” He gives you a look like you’re being ridiculous.

“Charlie Spring is a little cheeky today, my oh my, what have I done to deserve this.” Then you raise your voice in a slight yell, “Ahhh! Who is this?! This isn’t my Charlieeee…!” Your arms reach for the sky.

“You’re an idiot.” He takes the chance and poke you again which makes you yelp. You narrow your eyes. He runs off, you chase.

That was last week. You haven’t seen your boyfriend in a couple of days and it’s concerning. He responds hours late to your messages, doesn’t even respond in your group chat with Charlie, his calls barely last ten minutes and you literally haven’t seen this man in person. Charlie tells you he still shows up at school but his eye-bags are pretty bad.

“Is he avoiding me? I’m confused.” You frown, balled up on Charlie’s bed and feeling very mixed. A little annoyed, a little sad, and alot of worried. Charlie sets down two mugs on his bedside table and sits next to you on the bed. His rests a hand atop of your head and lightly taps it.

“No… I don’t think so. I see him at school and he tries to act normal but even he doesn’t respond to me like that outside of school.” The scowl his face makes has deepened and you’re quick to wrap an arm around his leg in comfort. He lets out a weak smile but it’s quick to fall off his face. “I’m confused too…”

You both stay silent, it’s nearly deafening. “I don’t wanna force him to tell us anything – I mean, he knows he can come to us if he needs it but if he’s really stressed about school maybe we can help give him some space to not think about it. Even if its only for a bit, you know?” Charlie listens to you mumble while tugging at a loose thread on his sweater and nods slowly, eyes lost in thought.

“Should we go somewhere?” He tilts his head back to look at the ceiling before his gaze travels around his room’s walls, hoping to find an inkling of inspection.

“That sounds fine.” The somber feeling in the room lifts a bit when you start to grin. You shift onto your back, raising your right arm in the air and sprawl out your fingers. “We could go out, do something and eat… I kinda wanna stargaze, is that weird?”

He lets out a chuckle, glancing down at you with a teasing glint in his eyes, “Wow, you’re such a romantic, Y/N. I’m shocked.” To which you scoff.

“Well, duh. Who makes all the date plans?”

“Okay, no, that’s because you say we’re bad at planning dates – you refuse us to even be involved.”

“Charlie, Nick brought you to a dog park as a date.”

“What’s wrong with that?”

“You both stayed there till nine.”

He full on laughs now, bumping you with his knee and you smack it back in retort. “No judgement though, I would do the same but that was for the whole day! Who stays at a dog park from Eleven to Nine?” He continues to laugh until they turn into giggles.

“Maybe… we’re unique.”

“True that. You didn’t even bring baby Nells, shaking my head.” To put emphasis, you shake your head and your friend has to gasp out for air. “Don’t die, now.”

“Whatever whatever.” He brings his hands to his face and rubs his cheeks in circular motion to calm himself. His face is flushed and he exhales slowly before reaching for his phone. “Do you want your drink?”

You remove your arm from his leg and sit up properly, holding on your hands and he complies, placing the mug between them. “Thank you~” You lean on the wall, flopping your legs onto Charlie’s before crossing them at the ankles – to which he sighs in annoyance and it makes you grin. “What’re you doing?”

“I’m gonna search for places to go that is nearby but not too close… you have a place in mind for stargazing?” He grabs his own mug that is black and littered with yellow stars, how ironic. You nod sleepily, slowly sipping your preferred drink and tap at the cup absentmindedly.

“Yeah, it’s near my house.”

He flicks his eyes towards you for a second.

Then goes back to typing on his phone.

“You mean it is your home.”

“Maybe.”

You smirk, he sighs and you both go back to planning. Nick honestly better be willing to get his ass dragged out of the house by his lovely girlfriend and boyfriend because money is involved and you both would be damned if he just wallows in self despair, alone.

So, that’s what happens, you fill Charlie’s parents in on needing to steal your bestfriend during the weekend and some of the plans involved like a movie night. They agreed to let him stay over for the night but he must call every few hours or atleast text.

Your parents love the boys and were completely down with the idea. Of course you also secretly called Nick’s mum and she had filled you in on a couple things that made you a tad bit more nervous to see your boyfriend.

Seems like your assumption was correct (more like Elle’s). “Lately he’s been talking about colleges, right… he’s planning to go on a trip sometime this month to check them out but he seems stressed, it’s been worrying me. You know though, kids probably don’t want their parents all in their business, haha,” She laughs softly and you can hear running water cut off on her end – probably washing something – “He knows he can come to me so I’m just letting him have his space. It’s lovely you and Charlie want to ease his mind! Glad he’s with and friends with two sweethearts,” This makes your face flare up in embarrassment but your chest puffs with pride.

“Of course, and I know he appreciates you being patient and understanding with him. The thing we don’t wanna do is pressure him… I just hope this can help take his mind off of the stress and you know… relax?” You grimace a bit, tugging at the end of your sleeve as the phone sits between your ear and shoulder.

“I get it, mhm. Thank you, Y/N.” Her voice is still soft but gets even more sincere with a hint of emotion. Had you feeling emotional too.

Saturday is quick to arrive and you stare at your reflection with determination. Brushing down your outfit, you admire your date look a bit more before turning around slowly and snatch your bag off the bed which is filled with random necessities that you may or may not need along with your wallet.

“Alright, Nick Nelson, prepare yourself for the best date you’ll ever be on.” You puff out your cheeks, grab you phone of the charger and exit your room. “I’ll be off, Mother~” You hum once you reach the end of the staircase and spot your Mom on the couch with a paper in hand.

“What is with the formal address?” She chuckles behind her hand, standing up and following you towards the front door. “I’ll see you later tonight with Nick and Charlie, right? Enjoy yourselves.” She smiles, wrapping her arms around your head and you hug her back with a gentle squeeze.

“Oh! Wait.”

She quickly unravels herself from you and speeds down the hall to the kitchen. Your eyes stare down the direction she went for a few seconds before deciding to slip on your shoes.

“Okay, here you go.” You’re standing with the door open by the time she comes back and she gives you a picnic basket. It’s not super big but you have to grab it with two hands. Less from the size, more from the weight.

“Mom. What did you pack in here?” You huff out a laugh, going to open the lid but she stops you.

“No, do not open it. It’s like… a wedding. You can’t see your spouse or it’ll be bad luck!” She speaks with a finger raised and you cock an eyebrow up. Whatever you say, Mom is basically your expression and she seems to notice because she places her hands on her hips with an exasperated look. “Just trust me, I’ve done it before and it was bad luck all day.”

“Mhm, mhm, right.” You nod, half listening and backing up on your porch. She follows, hand on the doorknob with a soft smile and she pinches your cheek with her other hand. “Thanks, I love you.”

“Love you too, honey.” She full on grins now and waves. After your ‘see you later’ promises, you’re quick to dart down the street and across the roads to a nearby park where Charlie said he’d meet you after picking up Nick. It gives you enough time to unload the nice lunch packed for the three of you and hopefully buy some refreshing popsicles or ice creams before they arrive.

Seems like luck is on your side though – maybe your Mom was right – because the minute you finish laying out the huge blanket in a nice shaded area you hear the sound of someone ringing a familiar bell sound. You turn your head so quick it nearly gave you whiplash and your eyes widen at the person walking along the park’s path, pushing a white squared cart decorated with photos of different types of cold treats.

You take your bag and phone, dialing Charlie’s number while speedwalking across the grassy field. It takes two rings before you hear his voice.

“Yes, partner in crime?” His voice comes off as staticky for a moment.

“What the hell are you doin’, your mic is scuffed as hell…”

“I’m walking!” You could imagine the eyeroll Charlie would do and bite your cheek to not laugh.

“Are you with Nick?” You continue to talk but smile in greeting when the ice cream seller stops at you coming over. He says hello and you wave before looking over all the choices on the cart.

“Yes. We’re grabbing drinks right now, you okay?”

“Yeah! I’m at the park, set up the picnic – though the food is still in the basket,” You glance back at your spot and after making sure nothing seems out of the ordinary you look back at the cart. “You remember those ice cream cart things? You want something?”

It’s silent between the two of you as Charlie ponders, in the meantime you point to your desired choice and the guy nods with a smile, opening the ice cream cart before digging around in the pile of cold desserts until he finds the one you want.

“Do they-“ He cuts himself off with a chuckle and you perk up at his voice, “Do they um,” He snorts this time then sighs to calm himself, “The ones with the bubblegum eyes. I wanna try one.”

You laugh a little, thanking the ice cream man as he sets the packaged treat in your hand. “Do you want the sonic one or something?”

“Whatever you spot first or whichever is given. Oh wait- Nick-“ You zone out a bit as he speaks to the blond and point to the blue hedgehog. The ice cream man continues his search. “He said he wants the crybaby ice cream.”

“Oh god.” You sigh in adoration, tilting your head back to the clear blue sky. “Weren’t they, like, terrible the last time we tried them?”

This time you hear Nick’s cheerful voice and he scoffs, “Okay, no. That was because for some weird reason you and Darcy wanted to put warheads into the mix.”

“Thank you,” You say to the nice man, grabbing a ten and a five dollar bill as a tip out of your wallet with a smile. You then put all the treats into your bag along with the wallet, waving the man bye which he returns and goes on his merry way. Your focus goes back to the two boys. “Ah yes, I remember the part where your face went sooo red. Hilarious, I have videos I think.”

He groans in prospect and you hear muffled giggles erupt from Charlie. “Why do you do this to me?”

“What are you talking about?” You tease and he groans again.

Charlie then speaks up, sounding way closer to the phone. “Alright! We’ll see you in two-point-five seconds.” You hum in response and say your goodbyes before hanging up the phone.

You reach the blanket again, flopping on your tush and take the ice creams out, aligning them with precision on top of the picnic basket. Charlie doesn’t disappoint because not two minutes later you see two familiar figures walking down the park path, one of them pointing towards your general direction and ditching the path to the grass.

You could feel your heart pound from… nervousness or excitement? Maybe both and it makes you grin, waving at the two. They get closer and Charlie waves awkwardly with a hand that has a drink in it, to which you notice his other hand also had a drink… and one of Nick’s. The blond’s other hand is carrying headbands of some sort and a bag is hanging off his arm.

“Char told me to get these while we were in the grocery store.” Nick speaks first when they get to you, he lifts the hand with headbands. “I decided not to question it.” You raise your hands and he carefully sets the accessories in them. Ah. Barbie headbands.

“Charlie…” Your brows pinch in amusement but also bewilderment. “What have you decided?”

He chuckles mysteriously, lifting a foot off the ground to point at your hand. “Put those down and take your drink, please. My hands are freezing.”

“Oops.” You comply and take the cup. The two eventual settle down with Nick in the middle and you quietly take a nice sip of the beverages. “Thank you.”

The boys nod and you glance at Nick, noticing the shadows of bags under his eyes. It makes you frown for a second, “So, what am I doing here on this lovely day.” Before you could inquire, Nick speaks up first, eyes shutting in contentment and a pretty smile adoring his face.

You lean back on the palm of your hand, eyeing Charlie and he meets your gaze. “Can we not want to hang out with the one and only, Mr. Nick Nelson?” You speak with a teasing tone, leaning into his side. His smile goes wider and he opens his eyes to meet yours.

“You make me sound like some big shot.”

Your eyes narrow.

“Well it was hard to reach you… so…” His gaze falters along with his smile, nervously tapping the top of his cup. “Not to pressure you, you know that but Charlie and I will always be there to listen if you need it.” You poke his arm gently and you spot Charlie’s hand sliding into Nick’s.

“Yeah.” Charlie nods, squeezing their hands, “But if not, that’s fine too. Y/N and I wanted to just, relax with you. Spend some time together.”

That makes Nick let out a shaky laugh and a wobbly smile. “Thanks.” He pauses. “Really. It’s just been, crazy?” He nibbles at his bottom lip before sighing and flops on his back, leaving his cup between his crossed legs and dragging the two of you down with him – which makes you all share a laugh.

Charlie rests against his boyfriend’s chest – facing his direction and you flip onto your stomach to play with both of their soft locks. “What has?” You ask softly.

He’s silent for a bit, tapping his fingers on your back with his free hand. “I’m not sure, school? Life? …Me? There’s no exact reason, everything just seems to be crashing down in my brain and it’s annoying to say the least.” He sighs heavily, “I’m probably just having that kind of month where everything is just feels like alot.” He frowns and you move the hand in his hair down under his chin, gently squeezing his cheeks and he chuckles.

“That’s perfectly fine, it happens.” You move the hand to trail up the left side of his face and place your palm over his forehead like you’re checking his temperature and it makes Charlie join in, prodding at Nick’s neck gently.

“There’s a lot going through your life right now, perfectly understandable why it feels overwhelming and such. Thank you for talking to us about it.” Charlie speaks softly.

“Of course. I don’t,” Nick pauses, opening his eyes with a flash of worry, “I don’t want it to feel like I’m shutting you both out or anything, or if it feels like you’ve done something wrong. I feel less weird thinking I’m overreacting, haha…” The laugh comes off flat but from the reassuring smiles from his lovers, he feels at ease.

“You’re not.”

“Nuh-uh.” You and Charlie speak simultaneously, denying such thoughts. It makes Nick laugh which sounds less forceful.

“I don’t think I’ll be able to talk about everything right now since I don’t even think I’m done… accessing everything but really, thank you. You both are my anchors.” If you didn’t tear up from that, your heart definitely did. Charlie gets up off Nick, letting go of the blond’s hand and tilts his head back with his hands over his face.

“Same, Charlie.” You cover your own face and lay flat against the blanket.

“I…” Nick trails off with another laugh and he sits back up which catches both of your attention. “Can we eat though, I’m getting a little hungry.” He gives a shy smile and you also sit up.

“Oh shit, what if the ice cream melted?!” This realization has the three of you shooting towards the basket, grabbing the packaged delights and simultaneously sigh in relief. They’re not melted… yet.

“Should we just eat these first and then eat the actual lunch next?” Charlie bites back a laugh, already opening up the plastic and pulling out the bubblegum eye Sonic, wasting no time to put it in his mouth with wide adorning eyes.

You and Nick watch him in amusement before opening your own. “I wanted this lime popsicle they usually sell but there were none.” You sigh before eyeing Nick’s container of airhead ice cream. He opens the top and it reveals the swirls of… red? Or pink and green.

“That’s funny, we saw those while we were at the store. There were these coconut flavors too.” Nick reminisces, plucking the taped but wrapped in it’s own plastic wooden spoon off the side of the ice cream container.

Charlie hums before looking down at the bitten into Sonic, “Why does Sonic have green eyes? Are they actually green?”

You all stay silent.

“I thought they were black or brown?” You speak in confusion.

“Right? Even blue….” Charlie tilts his head.

“Technically all of those are correct though they turn red as well… It’s the different franchises, I guess?” Nick furrows his brows in thought, scooping into his sour treat after freeing the wooden stick and eats away, wincing here and there. You watch with amusement.

The lunch date you can say with absolute certainty was very successful. You all catch up on things that have been going on and different shows you’ve been watching. Sharing ice cream, stuffing yourselves full with your Mom’s cooking – there was even a drink war? All you knew was one minute you were nearly done with your beverage and the next it’s being tossed in Nick’s direction as you try and run away from Charlie’s retort from you getting him seconds before. Ah, can’t forget the classic kisses shared under one of the many trees at the park and the newest photos stored in your ‘Nick & Char ❤️’ album, like the picture of Charlie ‘painting’ Nick’s face with whip cream. Where the fuck did you get whip cream from? Ask your mother.

Around the time you were all packing up, a teenager around your age ran up with their four other friends and inform you there is a nice walking trail – pointing towards the area where the park path splits, one continuing into a circle around the whole field and the other going into an area with rows of trees.

“Y’think we’ll get jumpscared? Like a haunted path or something.” You joked.

“They said there’s a nice stream down the path.” Nick smirks at your joking, placing a hand on your head and you puff out your cheeks, feeling them heat up a bit.

“Ah yes, you can take a nice swim in it when I push you in there, Y/N.” Charlie hums, quick to dart his eyes away when you flip your head in his direction.

“You’re so evil to me?” You watch him with wild eyes, mouth agape and he laughs.

“Do you think we’ll actually able to get in?” Nick ponders and you flip the wild gaze to him now.

“With us three, I’m sure we can pull it off.” Charlie responds with a menacing grin, mischief all up in his eyes and you’re playing ping pong with your eyes, flitting back and forth between them.

“I’m gonna be arrested today, huh…” Your boyfriend and bestfriend just giggle like evil people.

In the end, you three didn’t get in the stream’s water but there were some fishes so you decided to feel them the crust that Charlie didn’t eat from his sandwich and take some more photos. Nick had picked Charlie up bridal-style, getting dangerously close to the water and you record it all.

“Don’t drop me!” Charlie tightens his hold around Nick, fear and excitement in his tone.

“This takes me back to the beach…” Nick ignores his boyfriend’s pleas and spins around carefully.

“Do not reminisce while I’m in your arms, please and thank you?!” He exclaims and it makes you full on laugh, an arm over your stomach while watching the whole exchange happen.

It’s not long before it turns from afternoon to evening, you three return back from the area with Nick and Charlie debating on if they saw a deer or not. Charlie saying it was definitely there and Nick saying it wasn’t there.

“Carl Grimes flashbacks…” You hum and Charlie puts you in a headlock.

“Do not. I will cry right here.” He pouts and pulls at your cheeks, ignoring your protests. Nick watches with a soft gleam in his eyes, rocking the picnic basket back and forth with a hand.

You all walk down the sidewalk side by side once Charlie lets you go, talking about random things before Nick realizes the direction you’re going.

“Are we dropping Y/N off?” He frowns.

It catches you and Charlie off guard. “What? What makes you think that?” You raise an eyebrow. Nick points ahead and your house in slowly coming up in view. Ah.

“Ah.” Charlie speaks your thought and you both share a laugh. “No, we’re not dropping her off.” Charlie stretches his arms with a grunt before eyeing the bag strapped around Nick. “You brought pajamas and clothes for tomorrow, right?”

Nick nods, pursing his lips. “Still confused about that.”

You scoff in amusement and place a hand on your forehead with an endearing smile. “Nick…”

“Don’t worry, you’ll understand soon.” Charlie gives him a thumbs up, paired with a wink before darting ahead of the two of you. Nick flicks his gaze to you in question but you put on an act and shrug.

“What he said,” You pause for a moment, eyes burning into Nick’s, “Do you like stargazing?”

He moves closer to you, closing the gap and tugs your hand in his. The question makes him look up at the sky for a moment. “Mmm. Never tried it before? What counts as stargazing? I’ve… been in the car on trips and looked out the window…?” You give him a perplexed look which he returns.

“Alright, well-“ You chuckle, “That can… technically count? I guess? Just… Yeah.” You give up midway, tugging Nick along when you get closer to the front of your house where Charlie awaits. “You’re on your phone while you’re on a date? Tsk tsk.” You tut your lips in disapproval and Charlie startles.

He rolls his eyes, flipping his phone to the two of you bounding up the steps. “I was texting Saha- oops, hold on-“ He cuts himself off, flipping the phone back around with a nervous smile.

You glance at Nick before moving your hand to cover his eyes with your other hand. He gasps in surprise but doesn’t question it any further, grinning a bit. Facing back to Charlie you mouth the word, ‘Barbie?’ and tilt your head in confusion. He nods.

“You’re silly.” You remove your hand from Nick’s face and flatten your hand, tapping Charlie’s forehead in a chopping motion. He rubs the area with a laugh and you knock on your front door.

“Did you forget your keys?” Nick giggles when you give him a look of shame.

“Maybe.”

Your Mom is quick to open the door, grinning widely. “Welcome back. Hello, Charlie and Nick.” They wave in shyness and she scoots back to let the three of you in. “What’s the plan next, soldier?” She bumps the door closed with her hip and loosely crosses her arms, raising an eyebrow at you specifically.

“Gonna go in the back for about an hour…” You trail off, taking your shoes off in the most complicated way. With your feet, or the heels per-say. When you finish you take the basket from Nick and walk to the kitchen with your mom as the boys finish taking off their own shoes. “To stargaze.” You finally finish when Nick’s ears are out of reach.

She pats you on the back with approval, “Attagirl. How was lunch?”

“It was fun! We spoke a bit, ate and went down a trail.” You bounce your head to the side while listening the activities before pausing. “He seems more… energized?” Your lips purse.

“Was that a question?” She leans against the counter, one arm coming out of the self-hug and she combs her hand through your hair. You give her an awkward look and she breathes out a laugh. Tapping the crown of your forehead, she moves away to the fridge with a soft smile. “Well, if he seems to be uplifted,” She eyes you before taking out three water bottles. “That’s great news, no?” Then sets them infront of you on counter.

“You’re right but… I don’t know. I just feel like I can do more,” You huff. “But that’s dumb because of course I can’t, this has to be something Nick figures out and all I can do is support him.”

“Honey, that is doing more for him. Supporting him is the biggest help you can five someone, along with what you’re already doing. Taking him out, letting him have space to clear his mind and being a safe net. Same thing with Charlie, no?“ Her hands latch onto your shoulders and give the muscles a gentle squeeze. “I know it feels like you want to do so much more but, there’s only so much.” You tilt your head back and look up at her with a half-smile before relenting.

“You’re right.”

“A mother is always right.” She lets go and moves towards the stove, giving you a smug side eye… which you return with an unamused eyeroll.

“Yes, yes. My mother is always right. Sometimes.”

“About ninety-nine percent.”

“Ninety-five…” You lift an eyebrow and give her pointed look. She has a spoon in her hand when she looks over you and points it to her chin in thought, it’s just a bit though.

“Ninety-seven. Take it or leave it.”

You scoff in amusement before scooping up the bottles, “Whatever you say, ma’am. We’ll be outside.” She hums in understanding and you exit out the kitchen, walking into the dining room before reaching the living room where the duo waits.

“Pleasure for you to join us.” Charlie smirks and takes two of the bottles from your arms with a nod of thanks.

“Be welcomed.” Nick muses with a grin and cracks open the bottle, taking a quick refreshing sip.

“What is this speech? I hate it.” Your face scrunches up in disgust before gesturing to the sliding glass door. “Shall we?”

“Look who’s doing it now…” Charlie stares at you cheekily. You give him the finger, he returns it.

There are slides in a shoe rack near the door and you three take a pair before stepping out. Nick’s eyes widen in wonder. Your backyard has a big blanket – similar to the one from the picnic – sitting in the middle of the area that has a plot of grass and lanterns that hang off metal rods sit nicely around in the grass that have curves at the end, doing nicely as handles. What surprises you are the little bugs that fly and flicker with a yellow-green gleam in the air.

“Since when do we get fireflies?” You speak first.

“Since forever, Y/N.” Charlie poked your back and you jump, flipping around to get him back but he’s already slipped behind Nick.

“You little…”

“Ah, ah ah, you have to be nice to me.”

“Says who?” He’s being ridiculous.

“Says me. Your bestfriend.” He peaks around Nick’s side – who, mind you, is still focusing on the backyard’s look – with a teasing grin.

“I’mma beat you up.”

“No!” He lets out a laugh when you lunge towards him, twirling out of your reach and running around with you flailing behind.

It felt special to Nick. The orange-red sky turning into it’s pitch dark blue color, stars twinkling down on you three with a full moon bright. His eyes are stuck on his two partners, the fireflies swirling around them out of disturbance but still they still decorate the backyard with green-yellow hues, not ready to leave. He remembers this conversation you had in this backyard a year ago…

“Do you think fireflies come around this area?” You were sitting on a bean bag, legs tucked beneath yourself and were practically sunken into the ‘seat.’ Charlie had insisted you to put it on the concrete side of the backyard so you did and now your face is hidden behind Nick’s switch in your hands.

Speaking of who, Nick is currently soaked wet, wringing out the ends of his shirt and Charlie wraps himself up in a towel. It’s late night, pitch dark but they wanted to play with water balloons and your Mom happened to be out of the house to pick up dinner.

“Maybe…” He leans back to look at the sky. “Why? Do you like fireflies or something?” He looks back down at you. The question has you silent for a couple of beats before you set down the console. He watches you with an amused twinkle in his gaze, puffing out his chest in pride at seeing you in his sweater. Charlie had been wearing it earlier and you both traded before they brought out the balloons.

“I mean, I have never seen any so, maybe, maybe not.” You shrug, unfolding your legs and stretching them out with a groan. Your socked feet slap down against the concrete and you sit up a bit. “Don’t you think they’re kinda special though? My Mom said it’s like they’re glowing up your night, dancing around you and stuff.” You eye the floor. “Appearing on specials occasions like they know,” You lean back into the seat with a sigh, “Said that’s how she got married. Isn’t that crazy?”

Charlie purses his lips, tilting his head to the side before smiling, “Sounds magical. They’re the ‘true love’ bugs.” His smile widens into a grin.

“Exactly!” You snap your fingers with a nod, bumping your heel against the stone pavement.

“I’m sure they do appear out here though, don’t they come out at Midnight?” Charlie shivers while speaking, hugging the towel around himself tighter. You sympathize with a playful grin.

“Maybe. But well, you boys should get inside and warm up. We’ll try next time.”

“Nick! Are you gonna come and lay down?” He snaps out of his head, eyes darting to you and Charlie lying on the blanket though Charlie is trying to tap out from a leg lock you have him in.

He snorts in surprise, not missing a beat and closing the distance. “How the hell did this happen?”

“Nick! Help me~” Charlie wails before pinching your thigh, making you yelp and quickly let go.

“That is cheating!” You exclaim, rubbing your leg with a wince.

“All’s fair in war.” He snickers, reaching a hand out to Nick who takes it and sits down between you two.

It’s a nice silence between the three of you, you’re not sure who laid down first but you eventually followed. Nick has his arms wrapped around the two of you and you’ve glanced up at his face which shows contentment. You even met his gaze while peeking and it caught you off guard with how much his brown orbs were filled with much love and affection.

You reach a hand out towards Charlie and tussle at curls, making him whine in protest but lets you continue anyway. “I’m not good with constellations so you’re not gonna be getting that during this stargaze adventure.” You mumble against Nick with a laugh and it makes the other two chuckle.

“Nah, that’s alright… I’m happy with this…” You and Charlie freeze at how soft Nick’s voice sounds. Serene. Content. More than happy but not quite ecstatic. Filled with much love directed towards the two of you and it has your heart pounding.

You sit up on your elbow, making Nick’s arm slip off of you and he eyes you with suspicion. “Actually…” This would be way more comfortable on your knees so you sit up, tuck your calves beneath you and cuff Charlie’s face into your hands. It’s nearly laugh worthy of how quick his face turns a deep red and how you felt it happen under your touch.

You lean forward, careful not to face-plant into him – that would be awkward… and painful – pressing your lips against him. You both move into a soft but passionate rhythm. Your thumb brushes against his dusted cheeks, pressing hard against his lips one final time before moving back with a dazed grin.

He returns it, chuckling shyly before meeting Charlie’s intense gaze. You choke back a laugh with the swiftness of your friend sliding up a bit, hand softly cupping the side of Nick’s face and sharing their own kiss. Also very slow, and passionate. Your tilt your head up towards your house, eyeing the sliding door and sigh in relief to not see your Mom near it. By the time your gaze returns you’re meeting with the two boys staring at you with flushed faces.

“Oh my god, you’re so red.” You laugh.

“Shut up?” Charlie hands an arm over his face, probably burning up a bit more from the teasing.

The fireflies have died down, some still hanging around but you notice most are gone and a smile tugs at your lips. “Wanna go inside now?”

Charlie removes his arm with a sharp inhale and the two nod. “Do you need to bring the blanket in?” He points to the cloth when you all stand and you’re quick to shake your head.

“Nah. I’ll grab and wash it tomorrow,” You stretch your limbs, hearing some pop. “I need new bones…”

Nick sticks his tongue out in playful disgust, “That sounds horrific.”

“Wouldn’t that be crazy though? If we needed to trade in new bones when we’re old and seniors.”

“Y/N.” Charlie’s eyebrows bend and he grimaces, “Why do you come up with the most freaky scenarios.” It’s not a question.

“Yeah, like the apocalypse one from before.” Nick pitches in with a frown that falters into a smile.

You all step into the living room after you’re done turning off the lanterns and have grabbed your bottles, “Because my brain is so amazing that I just think of things you would never think of.” You make a gesture to your brain before wiggling your fingers like you’ve done a magic trick.

“Or so you say…” Charlie glances somewhere else before meeting your eyes, “Less would never think of more, shouldn’t think of.” He flicks his hand towards you, thumb and index finger out in a finger gun.

“Hey, these could be real life events soon to happen.”

“Yeah the bones theory would happen when we all become immortal.” He chuckles and you roll your eyes.

Then boom, jumpscare. Your Mom appears just as you’re settling on the couch. A screech leaves all of your mouths and she stares in shock with mild confusion and amusement.

“Hello to you three, too.” She giggles, walking over to the glass door, tugging the lock between the handle down and pulls the thick curtains down. “Enjoy stargazing?” She turns back around with a soft smile.

You three shift your gazes away. Apparently it wasn’t just you that still had the intimate moment in the back of your brain, huh? “Yeah, thanks Mom.”

If she noticed the slight awkwardness building up, she doesn’t mention it nor show it and instead clasps her hands together, “That’s wonderful! Dinner is finished so feel free to grab whatever you want. I’ll be upstairs if you need me.” She fills you in on her own plan for the night which is pretty much staying in her room so you all have your own time. She then tilts her head, eyes spacing out until she perks up, “And then there’s brownies that are baking, should be finished soon. I set a timer so when you hear it please take it our for me, Y/N.”

You nod before frowning, “Why does it have to be me?” Apparently she didn’t understand from the confusion crossing her face. You then point to Charlie and Nick.

Charlie looks offended, “We are a guest?” but his tone is light.

“You practically live here? Your clothes are in my closet, mind you.” Nick and your Mom choke out a laugh while Charlie flares up, flustered.

“Nick’s are too?!”

“Which is why I included him in my pointing?!”

Two people are bickering, two people laughing at the scene. It doesn’t take long for you Mom to calm you both down, “It doesn’t matter who, it doesn’t matter if it’s all three of you. Please just don’t let them burn.” She chuckles a bit more before rubbing her hand against her collarbone to calm herself, “Have a great time. I’ll be in my room.” You all wave her ‘goodnight’ and she retreats upstairs.

You three share a silence. Then Nick speaks,

“…So what exactly are we doing? It seems you both are full of surprises today,” He wears a teasing look which makes you and Charlie look away.

“Don’t worry about it, mister. You enjoy the ride.” You talk first before nudging Charlie with your leg. “You put the movie on, I’ll go make our plates and...” You eye Nick for a moment not knowing what he should do.

“Nick, I put the backpack in Y/N’s room, could you go get it while we set up? Oh! The headbands too.” Charlie pitches in and grins at the mention of the headbands. You and Nick blink at him before standing up to dart down your own paths.

While you’re making the plates the oven timer does go off. You take a toothpick from one of the drawers, flick on the oven light, open the oven – making you flinch back from the heat – then poke the dark chocolate fudge goodness. It has baked all the way so you grab oven mitts and drag the pan of brownies out of it’s cooker, sets it on the stove and flick turn the oven off.

After making sure everything was set in the kitchen you grab two plates and exit the kitchen, back into the living room where the movie is paused on the TV right before it begins. Charlie stands up and helps grab the two plates, letting you dart back into the kitchen again for the last one just in time for Nick to return.

“Do you want drinks? We got juices, sodas, water, you name it.” You peak your head out behind the dining room wall and the two boys pause midway in putting on the barbie headbands. You bite your lip to hold back a laugh.

“Do you have that tropical mix?” Nick speaks and you nod, he points at you in affirmation of the drink then finishes adjusting the plastic accessory around his hair.

“Root beer, please.” Charlie speaks next before his eyes shine open and wide, “Do you think we can have floats…”

Your eyebrows perk up, “I think we have vanilla? But you’re not getting that till the brownies cool down.”

“Oh, they’re out? Thank Barbie.” He holds his hands up in a prayer.

You stare at him, very much unamused and he gives you a cheeky grin.

“I’ll have tropical juice for now then.”

With a thumbs up you return to the kitchen once more, grabbing three tall glass cups from the cabinet and grab the carton juice out the fridge. You fill up two cups before staring at your own. After deciding your choice of drink, you put everything away and startle while turning around and seeing Nick in the doorway.

“Sorry,” He smiles apologetically, walking up to you and grabbing the cups filled with juice that is his and Charlie’s. He catches you off guard once again, planting a soft kiss on your cheek before bounding off to the living room again.

“What the fuck.” You stand in oblivion, feeling your face heat up. You decide you won’t unpack that tonight, flicking off the kitchen light and rejoining your movie mates.

Nick and Charlie had switched spots to where the blond was in the middle like he had been all day and your boyfriend pats the free spot next to him. You comply, setting your cup on the table while sitting and you lean into Nick with a soft smile.

“You forgot this, kind ma’am.” Charlie grabs the plastic pink band and you lean forward. He puts it on carefully and leans back with a self-satisfied expression, grabbing the remote with a quite cheer. “Are we ready for the best movie night ever?”

You and Nick watch him with amusement, “Yes, Charles, we are.”

“Not Charles, I will fight you.” He shivers at the name.

“You call me Nicholas?” Nick speaks. It makes you laugh.

“It’s your real name.” He grins.

“Is Charles not your real name, Char?” You lift an eyebrow and he rolls his eyes, still wearing the grin.

“No, it is ‘Charlie “Char” Spring’.”

You let out an insufferable sigh.

“Y’know, Y/N has called me ‘Luke’ before.” Nick leans his head back with a scoff. This makes you have a full on belly laugh which makes Charlie react the same way. “Yes, yes laugh it away.” He sighs like he’s in pain.

It takes five minutes to calm down. You wipe a precious tear away, “It was on call too and he hung up. Would not answer for like, an hour.” You inhale deeply at the memory before laughing again.

“Should we start calling him Luke as a nickname?”

“Please, please don’t.” Nick squeezes the arm wrapped around Charlie’s waist with a pleading look.

“Awwe you can’t do that.” He pouts, reaching up to pinch Nick’s face.

“Dho wha?” He sounds funny with Charlie tugging at his face.

“The puppy eyed look. The doe eyes.” You bat your eyelashes at Nick when he eyes you from the corner of his eyes before rolling them.

“We’ve gone all dahy withosut this, nowh yuu wanna shtart?” Now he’s the one doing the insufferable sighing.

“It’s a daily mission.” Charlie nods, a serious expression crossing his looks – putting on an act. He then lets go and grabs the remote again, “Movie time!”

“Movie time!” You cheer afterwards.

You three are silent for a bit as the movie plays, you and Charlie cuddling into Nick. He plants soft kisses down your face and you flush a bit. Then he moves to Charlie, repeating the action, who giggles quietly and eyes Nick with a shy look. It makes you laugh under your breath and Charlie doesn’t miss it, pointing to you with a brow raised and expression saying, ‘Don’t laugh at me when you’re acting the same.’ You look away.

“Hey,” Nick suddenly speaks up and the two of you look over. “Thanks for today. It really helped calm me down…” He continues to train his eyes on the TV but his ears burn from you and Charlie giving him your undivided attention. “And reassured me about a few things…” He purses his lips.

“Reassured?” Charlie asks quietly, as if afraid to make Nick snap his mouth shut and not speak again.

Nick sucks in a breath and you shiver from his fingers crawling up your arm. You watch Charlie lift his own hand and hold the arm wrapped around him.

“Yeah. Since everything felt like it was crashing down, I don’t know. It kinda made me feel… negative? About certain stuff. Between us. Not that I’m not happy, I’m more than thankful to be with you two but just like, how you both felt towards me…” His pursed lips flatten and your brows bend at the way his eyes dim.

“Breaking up with me for example because maybe you felt neglected or such. It made me so scared to think about I stopped responding to both of your messages most of the time and barely wanted to call because you know, what if one day you just went, ‘Yeah I don’t think we should be together,’ such and such.” You both stay quiet to let him speak his mind and you hate that he ever thought such things.

When Nick stays silent you take a sharp inhale, meeting eyes with Charlie’s glossed ones. The sight breaks your heart. “Nick…” You start off carefully and he looks over to you with so much exhaust. Slowly, you cuff his face – the same way you did outside – brushing your thumbs against him cheeks. Your right hand moves down, playfully you press your thumb against his bottom lip and smile gently.

“I’m sorry that you ever felt that way. It’s far from the truth, sweetheart.” He lets out an airy chuckle and you watch with adoration. “Y’know brains come up with the craziest scenarios when you’re stressed and it’s annoying, and stupid.” You huff, left hand moving against his cheek and he leans into the touch. Your thumb and index finger latch onto his ear and you pinch it lightly. “Do you know that, that would never happen unless you came to me asking for such a thing?” You pucker out your lips.

He watches you in a daze before laughing. “Do you know that would never happen?” Then he turns to Charlie with a soft look. “And you, Char?”

Charlie rubs at his reddening eyes and inhales. He then nods, opening his mouth before faltering. You both give him and moment and he closes his eyes in frustration before heaving out a sigh. Concern is evident in both of your expressions but Charlie opens his eyes with a new look of determination, straight at Nick.

He smacks his hands against Nick’s shoulders which makes the latter’s mouth hang open in surprise. “Nick. I love you. A lot. It hurts to know that you were dealing with these emotions, but know I’m not blaming you. How could I? It’s not your fault. Never feel bad for needing to take your time to sort out your own feelings and what’s going on with yourself. We’d never blame you for that because in the end, you know we have you, right?”

Nick nods and you can see his own eyes get glossy as well. Charlie then looks at you, “I love you too, Y/N, don’t tell Tao but you’re my bestfriend.” He chuckles, wiping at his eye again and you wipe at your owns.

“Hey, he can be your guy bestfriend and we wouldn’t have to fight over titles.” You wink, before leaning to Nick and kissing him softly. “I love you both, very much so. I’m glad you were able to talk to us, Nick.”

“Was that your goal today?” He grins in a joking manner, tilting his head in the crook of Charlie’s neck while entangling his fingers with yours.

“Did it work?” Charlie sniffles a bit before laughing. You laugh as well, “This is ridiculous we’re supposed to be watching Barbie and now we’re sobbing.”

“I give up.” You throw your head back, side eyeing the TV.

“Nooo, don’t give up.” Nicks chuckles before sitting upright. “We can still watch… we should probably eat too.” He points to the lonely plates on the table.

“True.” You and Charlie agree. You three take a moment to collect yourselves with a few embarrassed laughs here and there before settling back down.

“What’s in the bag, by the way?” You gesture to the backpack under the coffee table as Charlie rewinds the movie back to the beginning. He glances down.

“Snacks.”

“It’s good.” You hum in approval, taking a bite of your food. The three of you enjoy the movie and dinner, later on making those root beer floats paired with the brownies. Charlie had explained to Nick that he was texting Sahar about the Barbie Movie and she told him she went with Imogen. Apparently, Imogen gives the movie a 2/10 because she messed up her outfit at the theaters.

“That’s terrible.” Nick stares at Charlie in shock but it doesn’t last long with the way his lips curve into a smirk, “That’s not her real rating though, is it?”

“Of course not, she loved it.” Charlie laughs.

You’ve been quiet this whole time but suddenly loll your head to face them. Nick already giving you an exasperated look when you got their attention. “Nick. Your new name in my phone is Ken Nelson.”

[raptorladylover6969]

Very specific and random ass things ive noticed abt The Handler that I find very epicly epic

-The concave of her maxilla, and the baggy droopiness of her eyes looks just like that of her atrociraptors, and their skull shapes, which I LOVEEEE

-(This one which was a quote from Scott himself) Her freckles are supposed to represent reptilian scales.

-Her looks resemble that of medieval-European beauty standards. (a high forehead was the SHIT back then, when women would also pluck their eyebrows to enhance it.)

-In the show, she seems to look “out of place.” Like she doesn’t belong there, which is because out of all the human characters, she’s the most hyper-realistic which adds to the uncanny vibes we get from her. Like the way we can see the little details and blemishes in her skin, the cracks in her lips, the little chips of her teeth, the redness of her eyes, the facial muscles that contort and stretch so naturally with each movement, she looks TOO REAL to be in a show like Chaos Theory.

-If you look closely at her brows, they are always narrowed, she always has one fixed expression with them, which only changes when she feels stronger emotions, like the ones which we did see her showcase: anger, frustration, excitement?? (realizing the n5 were in the warehouse with her, she did look pretty joyous from finding them and making her job much more easier.) and guilt.

-She blinks very hard and slow…like a reptile, and on the topic of blinking she actually blinks A LOT considering the little screen time she has. (so when someone says “omg she doesnt blink..” theyre lying, she does 💀 shes a human guys even HER eyes get dry sometimes 😞😞)

-The way she slowly turns her head, her pupils almost unmoving is like that of an owl.

-Her perfect posture which never faults unless injured or forced to. Ough its so creepy…

-She’s actually PRETTY TALL. Comparing her to the atrociraptors height (2 metres, 6.6ft when standing tall) shes like around a foot and a half shorter. She could be around Ben’s height, or like an inch or two shorter. (Also compared to Jensen, she’s like 6 or 5 inches taller 💀)

-Her undercut. I love it. I don’t know, it just brings me such joy seeing her silly undercut like HEHEHEHHE I wanna touch her hair it looks so silky and soft but ik damn well that ho 100% uses sum like 12 in 1 soap or sum cheap dollarstore soap since shes always on the go 🙁

-The aura she radiates the second she walks into a room, she’s able to silence the big carnivorous dinosaurs. SHE SILENCED A CARNOTAURUS AND IT LIKE, DROPPED ITS HEAD. Its like death itself looms around her. Wherever she goes, death and destruction follow, and the other dinos can sense it.

-She SWINGS her arms a lot when she walks, not like a little sway like she’s swinging them hoes. Idk if im just crazy but her arms seem to be a sorta big focus? Like the amount of camera zooms on her arms and hands, the way she sways them when she walks, them being the only part of her skin showing other than her collarbone, being knocked unconscious, thats the only other thing visible, her left arm being injured after getting run over. A R M S. (Now that I think abt it, her left arm being injured after getting hit, BROOKLYNN’S LEFT ARM BEING INJURED…was that supposed to be a foreshadow for Brooklynn having a missing arm…)

-Idk how literally no one pointed this out but at the s1 finale, after the showdown, and when she realizes that her raptors are too hurt to continue fighting, a few seconds after she hugs Ghost, when Ghost walks away, The Handler makes this little “hmph 😞” sound AND ITS SO GRGRGGRGRGRGR LIKE SHE SOUNDS SO DISAPPOINTED AND SAD AND GUILTY BUT ALSO RELIEVED AT THE SAME TIME CUZ HER RAPTORS ARE OKAYISH URGGHHHHH 🙁🙁🙁🙁

-When Tiger and Panthera call out to her when they’re injured 🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁

-The way she walks into frame, and stares at Brooklynn before blowing the whistle…its like, WHY? Why did she do that for Brooklynn and not the others?? To pop out and make herself known; did she want herself to be the last thing Brooklynn sees? Was she sure she was gonna die? Does she only pop out when she’s like 90% sure her victims will die? Does THAT mean she sometimes has doubts about if the job will go well or not? Is she secretly full of self-doubt? I mean, she is a very calculated person. Scanning perimeters before acting, cutting down the alarm system at Darius’s cabin, killing off any and all witnesses, it would be strange for her to not have some sort of doubt or paranoia that the job won’t go well. Jensen did said she was “being paranoid” when he was in Ronnie’s house.

-So if I were to carve out a specific personality for her based on that alone, she could be a perfectionist, assertive yet a bit doubtful, paranoid, resilient, relentless, carefully-calculated person.

For a character who only appeared in 3 (4 technically if you count the end of Down on the Ranch) episodes out of 20, she’s a VERY interesting individual, and its clear the writers/artists for her character had to think very creatively and critically about her to make her so impactful to the series for such a mysterious character.

[definitelynotshouting]

i literally can't stop rotating hunger au worldbuilding and lore in my head. forgive me if you've ever touched on this in an ask before, but... re: the existential horror of being a parasite that has the sense of self of the host it ate. if one of grian's friends ever did get taken and used as a watcher larva host. how do you think he would feel about the watcher that came out the other side? would he want to see them as still the same person as his friend, or...?

Ive been staring at this ask since i got it with like. I need you to picture the most comically heartbroken expression right now okay. like this is me reading that and thinking about it in great and terrible detail:

Gods he would be devastated if this ever happened. He knows what thats like. He knows just how much it hurts-- and that its not a hurt that can be quantified, because its just that intense, that scalding, that encompassing of an experience to go through. I think, genuinely, Grian would be so utterly horrified and grief-stricken for whichever friend went through the Watcherification process that it would trump every other potential feeling on the list

But i think, ultimately, he would still view them as his friend, and treat them in the same way. There's a little bit of hypocrisy in Grian's character that i enjoy engaging with while writing him, and a good part of that in hunger au is centered around how he's firmly designated himself as the monster, and everybody else is the victim, and theres no room for nuance because he sucks and theyre the only people who are valid. When in reality, yes he hurt them, yes he did terrible and invasive things, but he did them out of pure survival rather than maliciousness, and that does make a subtle difference. And... hes not the only one who has fucked up, either!! The entire point of hunger au is how everyone has fumbled the bag in various ways and now they're all trying to clean it up together. Its just, yknow, Grian is so wrapped up in his own pain that he cant see those grey areas yet

And the thing is, if one of his friends got Watchered™, so to speak, and was standing in front of him, i think he would treat them with SO much compassion. Theyve been through possibly the worst thing anyone can experience and come out the other side-- at his core, Grian is i think a character who wants to do good, and do good by other people, and in this hypothetical that would translate into a lot of kindness he doesnt usually afford for himself. Honestly i think he'd spend the time trying to show them the ropes, get them set up in a better position than he found himself in, and provide his own fumbling emotional support as best he could, just out of sheer solidarity. Like, he gets it. He's been there. He may as well help out.

And i think he wouldnt even realize how hypocritical he's being until someone else pointed it out to him, about how he treats this friend with so much care but is simultaneously cruel to himself. I dont think he'd know how to handle that-- he's sort of dug himself a rut in the road with the way he thinks about and treats himself, and the cognitive dissonance would be really uncomfortable for him. Ultimately a good thing!!! Growth is often very uncomfortable. But imo Grian has a tendency to run from things like feelings of discomfort, so i think it'd take him a while to reconcile his previous ways of thinking with whats being presented in front of him essentially in the form of a mirror.

So uh. tl;dr: he'd be a little hypocrite about it and would feel a lot more compassionately inclined towards the friend than he does himself, and would try to help them out as best he could. Thank you for the incredible question that has given me the opportunity to rotate this worm at even higher speeds than usual inside my brainpan DKNFEKNDSKDJKDKD

[sketch-guardian]

I LOVE WRITERDUMBASS’S REQUESTS, THEYRE SO FUNNY.

IS IT OKAY IF I REQUEST SOMETHING INSPIRED BY THEIR REQUEST WHERE ITS LIKE DRAWING THE STUDENTS AS IF THEY WERE IN THE BOYFRIENDS WEBTOON OR THE COFFIN OF ANDY AND IDK HER NAME WHEN THEY DONT ANSWER MC’S TEXTS AS A “PUNISHMENT”

I LOVE YOUR WRITING SM 🫶🏻🫶🏻🫶🏻

I'm sure @writerdumbass will be happy to read your compliments☺they always have very creative asks in mind✨Also, of course you can make such a request, the webtoon and videogame mentioned ruin my sanity😂however I'll do my best anyway🙈thank you for the compliment btw, I appreciate it very much💜:

"RAD CLASSMATES+NEW EXCHANGE STUDENTS WITH A MC WHO PUNISHES THEM FOR NOT REPLYING TO THEIR TEXTS BY DRAWING THEM AS IF THEY WERE IN THE BOYFRIENDS WEBTOON OR IN THE COFFIN OF ANDY AND LEYLEY"

DEMYA

Demya can sometimes get distracted by other activities, so it wouldn't be that unlikely that she wouldn't always pay attention to her D.D.D and consequently miss some texts from MC. Eventually when Demya would check her D.D.D throughout the day, she would notice a sketch sent by MC, showing herself drawn in the style of a certain videogame, as Ashley. Demya would know few details about it, so at first she would suspect it was a reference to her cannibalism, which would make her almost happy, like a quote, but then by doing more research, Demya would discover the incest detail, quite disgusting...MC better start running, because Demya knows her mate's scent and will hunt them down-

DOMNRA/MOBIM

Usually if Domnra is busy training or listening to way too loud music with headphones to hear his D.D.D ringing, Mobim would be in charge of replying to texts, while the little curse would bring the D.D.D to Domnra in case of calls, since Mobim only knows how to express itself through squeaks. On an occasion where even Mobim fails to intervene in time, then it would be the time MC would send such punishment to their partner via text. Domnra would choke on his spit at seeing himself represented as a character from the Boyfriends webtoon, especially Goth, because not only would Domnra know the webtoon's terrible reputation, but he would also find it offensive and take it personally. MC should prepare themselves to receive a voice message, lasting about half an hour, in which an annoyed Domnra would shout swears and order MC to delete such garbage

AZUL

Azul is quite often on social media, however when busy with photography or painting, he would tend to keep his D.D.D on silent, to avoid distractions, consequently missing texts, even from MC. Azul would know perfectly well about the reputation of the Boyfriends webtoon, being in step with internet trends and memes, so noticing himself drawn as Nerd, he would let out a dismayed gasp, but he wouldn't be discouraged, two can play the same game. MC would receive in the following days sketches of them drawn pregnant with Shrek holding their belly or in a threesome with Mario and Sonic, after all it was MC who started the war and Azul wouldn't back down

ZURI

Zuri often receives commissions via email or important phone calls, so she would be quite careful with her D.D.D, however it could happen every now and then that while she is busy with the sewing machine, Zuri may not hear MC's texts. As soon as Zuri noticed their text, which was a sketch of her drawn as a certain Renee Graves, she would look at the drawing with a raised eyebrow, trying to grasp the motivation behind it. After some research, Zuri's expression would turn exasperated and cold. Zuri would then inform MC that if they wanted their privilege of receiving affection revoked, then they could have semply asked for it directly, letting MC reflect on their childish actions and then expecting an apology

ODON

Odon wouldn't be very experienced with technology, in fact they would be quite certain that due to their eldritch nature, electronic devices struggle to function properly in their presence, so MC would be quite heartless to blame Odon for it. Furthermore, Odon is very knowledgable, but on ancient matters, while on more modern topics they would be quite clueless, therefore at the sight of themselves drawn like Andrew from The Coffin Of Andy And Leyley, Odon wouldn't understand that it's supposed to be a punishment, they would think MC did such thing only for the similarity between their colors and would politely thank MC for the present, complimenting their artistic skills (please protect Odon-)

REMIEL

(Please protect Remiel pt.2-) Remiel would have no idea how technology works, she has never used it and would need help the first few times before understanding how a D.D.D works, even if she wouldn't reach Simeon's levels. Remiel, as she's often busy with leading souls to the afterlife, may not have much time to reply to texts and therefore would be forced to read them later and get used to controlling the device. Noticing MC's text, Remiel would notice a sketch of herself drawn in a certain style, like Goth, even if she wouldn't realize that it was the Boyfriends webtoon, so she would simply reply with a question mark, as if to ask what the sketch was about, making MC feel almost guilty, given Remiel's innocence

NATHANIEL

Surprisingly, Nathaniel would know how to use a D.D.D and would be quite up to date with technology and internet, however due to his celestial duty, he would often find himself forced to respond with a slight delay, a mistake which to his surprise, MC would make him pay dearly for. Nathaniel would notice a text, showing himself drawn as Prep from the Boyfriends webtoon and would observe in silence for a few seconds, before writing to MC that perhaps spending too much time in Devildom has made them fit to become a demon, there is a circle of hell especially for people as them after all, he would add, although it wouldn't be clear from his texts whether Nathaniel is serious or kidding

URIEL

Uriel wouldn't consider using a D.D.D necessary, believing that MC chanting her name would be enough to make her come down from the Celestial Realm to their aid, however given MC's insistence, she would agree to bring her D.D.D with her, but often forgetting to check it, not used to have it. Uriel would finally deign to respond to MC and noticing the sketch of herself in the guise of Jock from the Boyfriends webtoon, not understanding the reference, she would demand explanations from MC. If MC confessed the details, Uriel would show up at MC's location, loudly telling MC they should be ashamed and that she will not tolerate such insults

[suffarustuffaru]

We need more re:zero fanfics that are just characters being forced to go to therapy. Subaru is ordered by the Royal Knights to attend weekly sessions (that secretly double as interrogations, though due to patient confidentiality the therapist is only able to pass on information that regards other people being put in danger) and the therapist stumbles out of there every week needing a drink because trying to make something coherent out of a conversation with Natsuki Subaru concerning anything related to his fluctuating emotional state and the very obvious/mysterious trauma underpinning all of his actions is practically an Olympic sport — and that was before unearthing his self-harm habit, severe inferiority complex, and what may be suicidal tendencies. Reinhard is so emotionally repressed that he’s refusing to let himself feel anything even regarding having to face off against his grandmother’s corpse and his superiors keep walking back the meager process any sessions manage to make. Otto seems perfectly normal and then he mentions being willing to die for Subaru’s sake as soon as three days after he met him. Ram just sits there glaring for the full hour and a half. Wilhelm uses the time to express his latest revenge plot in very well thought out detail. Heinkel is such a horrible mess that I can’t even make a joke out of what he’d do to that poor therapist’s emotional state. Roswaal doesn’t seem to realize what therapy IS. That poor therapist is in Hell.

anon ive always wanted to see something like this for sure HAH its just such a fascinating idea?? especially when 99% of people in the rz cast desperately need extensive therapy 😭😭 but yeah theres different ways you could take an idea like this and the conditions you set are really interesting.

the idea of it being a therapist appointed by the government, essentially, who’s also there to gather information (but keeps at least some details hidden for the sake of their patients) so the government can keep a leash on certain characters (subaru and reinhard particularly) + subaru is still locked by rbd taboo of course is so fascinating to me. of course—is it ideal conditions for therapy? hell no lmao 😭😭 but its a super good in universe explanation as to why theyre getting therapy (other than all of them being Mentally Unwell)—and given the therapist and everyone in the cast minus subaru and al are working with medieval knowledge, the odds were not in their favors anyway oops. and this is assuming that the cast has the BEST THERAPIST IN THE FANTASY WORLD POSSIBLE for this!! haah theyve got a real difficult job ahead of them.

and also an idea like this is difficult to write. ive always wanted a “rz cast goes to therapy” fic hah but writing the FULL cast is tricky!! tbh id feel bad not including at least a good chunk of the cast in a fic like this given SO MANY of them desperately need therapy. and this idea is Extremely character focused—you have to know every character’s intimate traumas and flaws and personalities to pull this sort of thing off. its inherently in depth character exploration, and depending on how Good you want the therapist character to be, youd probablyyy have to do at least a bit of research (??) (unless you have personal experience in this department already??) there on. how to write a therapist? but thats just me getting fixated on the practical aspects of this wkdndn this is definitely why we havent really seen much fic on this sort of idea yet. i think itd work really well as a collab though, possibly!! you can devote a therapy session to one character per chapter or something and mix it up later the further it goes on <3 or at least thats my idea for this at the moment. i think one therapy session per chapter would be very good leadup though in a Hypothetical Fic about this, and you then have the time to explore each character in depth and introduce each of them!!

ok as for the examples you gave anon—HAH yeah thats a good summary for sure 😭😭 again, this is interesting because these are Not good conditions for therapy.

they all think with their medieval knowledge. subaru cant talk about rbd and everything related to it, which is his biggest core trauma. reinhards superiors dont want him to improve because hes their perfect malleable obedient weapon right now and they chose to break him like that. they probably wont want heinkel to improve much either, given theres implications that people like russell fellow purposely helped make heinkel Worse (such as the false rumors that he kidnapped one of the royal familys kids). and also regarding characters like heinkel—he wont improve if he doesnt get some sort of rehab on top of the therapy akdnd and he wont improve if he doesnt make an effort either. and also i know theres characters like petra who are way more normal compared to everyone else and shes not in dire need of therapy unlike everyone else, but id argue petra should at least have a check up because girl is a twelve year old thats been shoved into life threatening events recently okay 😭😭 AND the astreas are gonna need some hardcore family therapy wkdndn theyll just need individual sessions first to work up to that……… but will the kingdom really allow that to happen either?

yeah so the therapist is in for a reckoning in general 😭😭 with the plot you gave anon—if the therapist genuinely tries their best, this could result in some friction. the therapist hears out all these big important people related to the royal selection—roswaal, the astreas, various other emilia camp members, and people from other factions im sure (such as julius, joshua, ferris, crusch, etc)—but the therapist is held back from fully helping all of them because the kingdom keeps them all on a leash, including the therapist themselves. will the therapist succumb to what the kingdom wants and ensure they never improve past a certain point? or ensure they never improve at all?

it creates this overarching plot to an otherwise standard premise i think—and theres a bittersweetness because the therapist cant fully help them as it is right now. and its hard to help characters like subaru and reinhard who are Incomprehensible in their own ways. even in the fantasy world with its Wide Range of dangerous traumatic events tinged with magic, subaru and reinhard are absolutely outliers. plus as i said earlier, some characters Want to improve so badly and will try their best to do so (such as emilia) and some might not have much desire to even try (such as heinkel). everyone in the cast have their own goals, motivations, and a lot of them to some degree will be unreliable narrators either purposefully or accidentally or unwittingly. the otto example you gave anon is so true because i an SO sure his ass would pretend to be normal bc he doesnt want to be there only to accidentally reveal hes not 😭😭😭 joshua is another good example bc of his hate love relationship with his brother and how he tries to conceal it by gaslighting himself into worshipping his brother’s every move and trying to live vicariously through him (joshua also hates reinhard too but pretends not to so theres that too) 👍👍👍 and also emilia and reinhard are examples of characters whove been taught the absolute WORST lessons in the world so youd have to get into unravelling that 😭😭 like theyre both afraid to be closer to others out of fear of hurting them, they have issues regarding what people see them as and what people expect them to be, learned powerlessness, terrible father figures, guilt complexes, being blamed for things that arent their fault, also the fucked up family history, etc etc. there is SO much baggage HAH.

and again, the poor therapist is getting a bunch of rz main characters and crucial side characters—many of them are well known in some way, or important political figures, and they ALL got the most buck wild stories so the stakes are Very High😭😭 itll be a fun ride im sure!! but i do think this idea is super super neat. id love to explore each and every character and all their nuances—i think a fic like this would only really fully work if youre sympathetic towards everyone, but youre not afraid to get them for their faults too. wilhelm, heinkel, roswaal are good examples. clind too by proxy, given frederica needs to get away from his ass too (RAM ALSO NEEDS TO GET AWAY FROM ROSWAAL ISTG.) and again, a fic like this requires in depth knowledge of all these characters or the premise can fall apart a bit—this is a fic all about exploring their deepest traumas after all <3

but yeah anyway i too am in dire need of a rz cast goes to therapy fic anon!!! T^T thank you for the ask i will continue to think on this idea 🙏

[mapsofnonexistentplaces]

do you take your ocs for that ask game .. isel

WHY NOT itd be funny to do that

favorite thing about them

i like that hes jsut like the worlds sluttiest oldest 30 year old man who talks in the most obtuse overdone way and everyone loves him for it. except that some people hate him for it. hes a funny guy

least favorite thing about them

hmm hard to say because all his flaws are like. specifically very interesting to me. like the way hes pushy with others and secretive about very basic details about himself are technically things to hold grievances with and he does kind of eat shit about it sometimes but its like. yuuup dudes traumatised and has very underdeveloped coping skills it makes sense....

uh actually i do have an answer. i hate how much he lives in my mind like literally if any of my friends ever ask me like "oh name a character" my first thought will indubitably be ISEL "oh who should i draw" ISEL i dont like him and i hate him actually. for being so handsome and nice

favorite line

ones at the front of my mind come from a play scene i edited last night. i like it when hes mean

brOTP

i think his connection with freya is sweet. codependent guys with god complexes, isel acting as a sort of dying ringmaster directing freya and also protecting her.... theyve got some baggage between them but they do care for each other so much

OTP

sigh him and olzhas will forever be famous to me their arcs are so entwined and they were very precisely designed to like. complimentary to one another. ive written so much about the meta between them its complicated but theyre annoying and they love each other and it rules

mazin and isel is also very personally funny to me because it feels like basically the only humorous "guys who hate each other" ship and also because i think the idea of isel of all people being mazin's introduction to bicuriosity would hurt him

i also think the hypothetical isel olzhas thuyết polycule is worthwhile. pretentious old men who will argue with each other about anything. its fine

nOTP

hmm aside for like. evidently weird ones. i dont think i can call any hypothetical pairing between him and anyone else bad i think theyre all funny in some way.

random headcanon

hmm treating this as an opportunity to think of my favorite trivia about him. i think his hobby in like. maintaining old music for himself and being all old-fashioned about record players and the genres of music he likes is cutes

unpopular opinion

i think hes ugly or something

song i associate with them

so many.... found this specific song earlier today so ill share this one

favorite picture of them

i think he looks cute here i like his expression a lot.... i like pictures of him where his like. a stupid little joker facade is lessened

[cringelordofchaos]

For the askgame: sean!!! :DD

YeYRYEYRTGSYRYETEYEYTETETEYETEYEYEYEYEYEYYETETRTEYTEYEYET TEYETETETETETYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYEYYEYEYEYEYE THABK YOU THABK YOU

SEAN !!! time

favorite thing about them

everything argh!!!!!!!!! his headphones !! How he talks to Mr Broom and thinks it's totally normal !!! How passionate about music he is and how he uses it as a coping mechanism and a distraction from his family issues because due to the neglect he's faced caused by his parent being preoccupied with arguing with one another he's been conditioned to feel that his emotions don't really matter to others so he doesn't talk about them too much or express them too much but he does open up sometimes so he can make other a understand they're not alone !!! Also how music is his ONLY passion in life (special interest!?!?). his larger attachment to objects !!! His introversion? (Ik rosy said he has friends outside the club but you can have friends and still be introverted, lmao), either that or he spends his time alone cuz he's used to? Being alone cuz again patental neglect...,, how he stasu behind to clean the music club room after school instead of going home cuz he doesn't wanna go home probably bc of his.parentz !!!! How he rejected the offer to go to his house by car cuz he probably wanted to arrive later and also wanted to be able to think to himself !!! HOW HES SO CUTE 🥺 like how he tears up when Jake offers him his laptop 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 or how he tears up when the club reunites w Jake 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 or how he blushed or is awkward w daisy 🥺🥺🥺 AUTHGJFHF CUTIE PATTITIE. how subtle he is as a character like genuinely rewatch TMF and observe his facial expressions I promise they're all very carefully animated I promise I'm not lying to myself or others ahahaha. How kind he is !!!!!!!!!! And how genuinely understanding he is towards others, like, GENUINELY!!! like when he said "I understand if you need time alone but if you ever wanna talk were here for you" to zander like he's.so.patient and understanding . His love for pizzas. His bonds and friendships w others. How non judgemental he is idk do u get me. I listen to gateaway despite not rly liking the song I just love Sean and daisy lmao. How pretty he is !!! How trustful he is ??? His angst material !!! How his parents are so busy arguing so often theyre straight up neglectful, like Sean has made it pretty clear he REALLY REALLY cares abt his laptop and making music cuz it's his only escape from his issues, what do you mean your parents are probably gonna be too busy arguing to notice it's gone??? Your prized possession ??? Your PRECIOIS??? whatever. His dismissal of his emotions and how he felt bad for "wasting everyone's time" while they were trying to find his laptop at the store like buddy your friends care about you dw abt it. Whatever I'm probably overthinking about it IDC I will explorate every single little fucking detail from his character and overanalyze everything I DONT CARE. How his smile immediately fades after Milly walks away in ep6 and immediately says "what a day" further implying he's not rly truly happy even if he seems like he is around others ?? Cuz he doesn't want them to worry abt him bc he feels like he doesn't matter ??? OKG everything. I love the nonbinary HC but for the sake of simplicity I'll refer to him w he/him in this post sorry. how he was probably forced to grow up sooner than others? bc he had to learn to be independent for himself cuz his parents weren't there. lmao. ETC ETC C EYC PLS ASK ME MORE ABT HIM ANYTHING I LOVE TALKING ABT SENA

least favorite thing about them

lack of screentime. O mean at the same time I LOVE IT bc I get to overanalyze every single scene abt him and it's "ok" but yeah he deserves more. Also the severe utter lack of Sean centric fics out there- like either they're really unpopular or I just can't find them someone PLEASE give me Sean centric fics I've only read one jean fic where he had half the focus and it was back before ep10 after ep9 for the.love.og god please

favorite line (I FORGOT THIS ONE FOR DREW OOPS)

Probably "maybe they'll be too busy arguing to even notice it's gone anyway..." Which is literally the only piece of dialogue to confirm or suggest how his parent argue which kinda sucks but hey he's got 20.MORE EPISODES TO GO WOOOOO !!! . Like idk I'm normally for show don't tell but like. That one small piece of information changes everything TRUST. also "I know what it's like to have... Family issues." He genuinely sounded like he was gonna cry wholy shit. Also the only other piece.lf dialogue that suggests he has family issues. "It's my escape, I guess." Is also good. One of the more silly ones I like is "Mr Broom and I have plenty of great conversations together!" Like he's so silly u guys

brOTP

JEAMILLY JEAMILLY JEAMILLY. SEAMILLY AND JEAN RULE. I LOVE THEIR FRIENDSHIPS AND BESIDES FOR DAISY I FEEL LIKE HE MOGHT BE CLOSER TO YHEM??? IDFK. I ALSO LOVE PLATONIC SAISY PLUS I HC DAISY AS AROACE SO. AND THEU LOVE EACH OTHER SM AND BLUE DAISY SYMBOLISM. ALSO FANON DREAN LOOE COMEONERBBRNDNFJRHRJRJJRNR R I CANT BELIEBE I FORGOT TO MENTION IT IN MU DREW POST I THONK I MESNT TO MENTION JY BUT I FOTGOT

OTP

GENERIC ANSWER but SAISY. they understand each other's issues soooo much and while they barely ever.opened up to anyone else they learnt to open up to each other and they're both so kind and sweet and caring and loyal except daisy's moms are too restrictive and strict and harsh on her while Sean's just aren't there for him and have a horrible relationship w each other. So Sean shows daisy the way of having fun and being herself without stress of her parents cuz he had the freedom while she didn't. Also BLIE DAISY SYMBOLISM. Also flustered Sean is everything - also Sean puts ZERO pressure on her to do something for him like open up, he just like leads her to opening up cuz he can tell it she actually needs it n probably makes her feel safer despite hating herself y'know??? and how they spend time together at the music club room but since daisy's got detention now they might drift apart ??? Which might tie into Sean's family issues cuz he might feel his parents drifting apart and he might feel like there's no winning in love and it's all hopeless hello??? Also DREAN as romantic is also cool but I prefer it.platonic. same with Jean

nOTP

Tbh I don't rly have one?? I saw Sean x Hailey which I don't really like but otherwise idrc.

random headcanon

He has major depressive disorder (smiling depression) and also maybe is autistic ! And he owns a YouTube channel where he posts comfort playlists and his comment section is free therapy zone where anyone's allowed to vent and he'll hear them out <4444 he also has a pet turtle

unpopular opinion

he's not bland. I'm not sure if that's an unpopular opinion but I've heard of the idea of him being bland on multiple occasions and I kinda spiraled each time lmao. But uhh yea

song I associate with them

surprisingly I don't rly associate much songs w him sorry I just can't find enough kf his specific issues and personalitu kf that makes any sense. Though "Older" by Sasha Sloan is SOOOOOOO HIM CODED YOU GUUYS. HE USED TO SHUT HIS DOOR WHILE HIS MOTHER SCREAMED IN YHE KITCHEN. HEF TURN THE MUSIC UP GEY HIGH AND YRY NOT TO LISTEN TO EVERY SINGLE FIGHT. CUZ NEITHER ONE WA SRIGHT. HR SWORE HED NEVER BE LIKE THEM. BUT HE WAS JUST A KID BACK THEN. THE OLDER HE GETS THE MORE THAT HE SEES HIS PARENTS AREBT HEROES THEYRE JUST.LIKE HKM. AND LOVING IS HARD. IT DONT ALWAYS WORK. SOMETIMES ITS BETTER TP LET PEOPLE GO. HE USED YO BE MAD. BUT NOW BE KNOWS. SOMETIMES KTS BEYTER TO LET PEOPLE GO. IT JUST HADNT HIT. HIM. YET. THTE OLDER HE GETS -

ALSO "7 Weeks 3 Days" by Yungatita is so jean codes (Sean pov). Also he's totally singing "Hey" and "Rises the moon" by liana Flores to daisy

favorite picture of them

every single ome bit the only one readily available to me atm is this one which works

He's emmoo oh nooo

ABYWAY THANK YOU NNNNNNN!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! I LOVE SEAB ;!!!!!!!!!!!!!;;!

[quodekash]

its 7 in the morning, i have a little time, lets roll (the commentary for just this one episode is gonna be a mess lmao)

FLASHBACK TIMEEE

little baby gun wearing glasses- hes so tinyyyy

I LOVE HERRRR

THE SONGGGGG

oh my gosh its not city its a silly song about a bullfrog i love this

aw mannnn he was jokinggggg

i love how theyre speeding up some bits, but other parts theyre adding more detail because it works better for the characters

CITYYYYYY

"im sorry, bro" I LOVE HIS ENGLISH WORDS

I NEED TO KNOW MORE ABOUT THIS UNIVERSE POR, WHY IS HE NOT FLUENT IN THAI

CAPTAIN PORRRR

and so the captaincy begins

good luck por

IMAGINARY TINN IMAGINARY TINN IMAGINARY TINN

IMAGINARY GUN SCENES ARE MY FAVOURITES

IMAGINARY GUNNNNNNN

i love forth so much hes such a good actor i love him i love him

tinn's little chants and then the ear blows like its some kind of magic spell RHJBGH

WAIT A SEC IT JUST OCCURRED TO ME

SOUNDWIN HAVE SWITCHED

DOES THAT MEAN SOUND IS THE ONE TO CONSTANTLY FALL ASLEEP IN CLASS??

pls let that be the case

i could have so many thoughts and headcanons if that's the case

GIJREKDBG I LOVE THAT BOTH SOUND AND WIN ARE HERE FOR THE EXAM PASSING STUFF

YO WITH THE DISBANDING NONSENSE

also win's expressions and mannerisms and stuff are gonna be excellent for an in depth analysis of sound later

i know ive done a million in depth analyses of sound

but you can never have too many

"i feel at ease now" "i somehow feel like we're getting a full score" i love this so much, i love them so much

CHINZHILLAAAAA

"will he have time for us?" "OF COURSE" this is so funny and amazing and perfect and all the good words

cos theyre literally in the same room. why wouldnt he hear them? and they needed to progress the plot. and gun would do that, whereas tinn wouldnt actually say anything.

I JUST LOVE IT SO MUCH

"dont doubt nosy guys like us" lmao theyre not even trying to think about a cover story, just 'hey, you know we're nosy.'

I LOVE THAT SOUND IS SPEAKING UP MORE OFTEN BC HE'S THE WIN IN THIS SCENARIO HFBGHRB

I LOVE HIM SO MUCH

COMFORT CHARACTER GO BRRRR

okay ive finished 2/4 and now i need to go again

IM BACK! to you guys that was no time at all, for me that was 12 painful hours

my friend went further ahead than me and sent me a few clips and hOLY HELL i have felt like im missing out ALL DAY

BUT WE'RE HERE NOW

EWVOUSDLV

THE HEART GRAPH SCENE BUT REVERSED GRBGHDB THEY MAKE ME SO HAPPY

ITS LIKE EXACTLY THE SAME

BUT ITS DIFFERENT BECAUSE THEYRE DIFFERENT PEOPLE

GIUEJSBD I LOVE IT

"i didnt mean to kiss you" PFFFFT GBRSDHXGB I LOVE THIS

GHREBDFG ALL OF THE FRIENDS SITTING AT THE TABLE

1. I LOVE ALL THEIR GROUP DYNAMICS SO MUCH

2. THE WAY THEYRE ALL WHINING AND COMPLAINING AND TALKING OVER EACH OTHER LIKE LITTLE KIDS GBFDGHBH

"I DONT HAVE ANY!" you dont have any.

like. what.

you have. no food?

h- how-

"if youre hungry, go eat somewhere else" damn bro

i do like that gun has kept his temper tho

theyre the same people as the originals, just in different situations and with different contributing factors and i could think about this for so long i love this so much holy hell

"why did you invite them" "my friends are stupid" i mean, is he wrong?

THE PARALLEL OF TINN/GUN YELLING AT GUN/TINN AND POR/TIW TAKING THEM AWAY FROM THE GROUP AND SAYING "thats your baby" GEHRSBGD

HIS EYES GOT SO SUDDENLY WIDE WHAT THE HELL

I NEARLY FELL OFF MY BED

TIW IS SO SILLY IN THIS UNIVERSE

I LOVE IT SO MUCH

I LOVE SILLY TIW

omg all of them chanting 'hot pot'- its like little children begging for mcdonalds

poor gun and por have to deal with these children

i love them

GUYS WHY ARE YOU LAUGHING SO EVILLY

YOU FORGET, THE PEOPLE BEHIND YOU ARE IDIOTS

THEYRE GONNA THINK YOURE PLOTTING THEIR MURDER OR SOMETHING

either that or they just. wont notice the very loud evil laughter coming from the corner.

both options are equally plausible.

oh they got louder

i think they noticed

OHHHH, THIS IS WHERE THE MOTORBIKE SCENE IS FROMMMMM

SOUNDS MOTORBIKE- COS SOUND WOULD HAVE THE MOTORBIKE IN THIS VERSION, NOT WIN

GRJBDGJEBRD

my brain is playing the freaking soundwin motorbike scene but with the roles reversed and im-

HEARTLIMING NOW IM THINKING OF HEARTLIMING

SOUNDWINDIDITFIRST

theyre really just copying from soundwin even in different universes, damn

why does sound have little boots on his keychain

gotta love the (not at all) subtle advertisement

SOUNDWINDIDITFIRSTSOUNDWINDIDITFIRSTSOUNDWINDIDITFIRST

ITS LIKE SHOT-FOR-SHOT THE EXACT SAME SCENE

THEYRE NOT EVEN TRYING TO BE ORIGINAL ANYMORE, THEY KNOW SOUNDWIN IS BETTER

no hate to tinngun, i love them

but also. soundwin.

SOUNDWIN STUDY SCENE YESYESYESYESYESYESYESYESYES MY FRIEND TOLD ME ABOUT THIS

this is gonna be entirely keysmashes

holy hell

the question is: am i gonna survive this

THE WAY WIN IS LOOKING AT SOUND

BOY YOURE WHIPPED AS FU-

"sounds studying mode. how cute!" HEEEEELLLPPP

and yes, i am aware, this scene is tinngun did it first. and yes. its also basically frame for frame. but soundwin did it first in most cases so i stand by this

GU4OEBSDJL

DUDE THATS A LONG FREAKING TIME

HOW DO YOU SIT FOR THAT LONG

holy hell i cant wait for my sound adhd hcs to finally be justified

sorry i have to keep pausing it so that i can just. take a sec. and process what's just happened.

and also to get out the million streams of thoughts that pop into my head

so yeah

THESE EPISODES ARE GONNA BE GREAT FOR AGGRESSIVELY ANALYSING ALL OF MY BOYS GERDJHGBF I LOVE THIS SO MUCH

FREAKING.👏 MOOD.👏

THEHANDSTHEHANDSTHEHANDSTHEHANDSTHEHANDSTHEHANDS

I NEED HELP

WIN'S LITTLE SMILE- IM DYING MY HEART IS EXPLODING MY SOUL IS IN THE ROOF HELP

SATANGS VOICE IS SO CUTE WHEN HE GOES NA NA NA NA NAAA

I LOVE HIM

guess who just squeak-squealed

me

they freaking played the freaking no one else like me track

and i know they play it over every important soundwin moment

but its like

directed at sound

rather than from sound

like. as if the song is coming from win's brain and not sounds.

like. as if. as if win sings the song in this universe.

SERIOUSLY I NEED IT SO MCUH

I KNOW IT HAPPENED IN MY SCHOOL PRESIDENT LIVE ON STAGE

BUT IT NEVER HAPPENED IN THE ACTUAL SERIES

AND IF IT HAPPENS HERE THEN THERE'S A CHANCE THAT ITLL BE ON SPOTIFY

PLEASE I NEED IT

DESPERATELY

GIMME

i think ive ascended into another plane of existence

i cannot- how do you- how does function

TIWPOR

GJERBSG

desperately hoping for more than crumbs, that they actually commit to the tiwpor in this version

(which i know they do because of the clips my friend sent me and im so excited to experience this firsthand)

omg

this part

my friend sent me this part

i think im going to explode

GOUERJHDGOIJBERNO;FDGLJKNV4OERIJDFBGNOI4ELRJDNGIO34HEIRDGOIH34ERDIOGHK34ERPOIDLKGN34EIORDGNV3EIO4RDJNGO3IE4RHNDGOI4EHRINDNG9OIH3N4ERO8DIGH340IEORHG0IO34BERDOB

PLEASE

IT DOESNT FEEL REAL

HELP

HE SAID IT

HE SAID THE THING

AND TIW'S SWEET LITTLE INNOCENT FACE- WHAT THE HELLLLLL

I AM DYINGGGGG

tiwpor exist

they actually exist

"i like it" "you like me?" EGIRBJKS

COS TIW, BEING TIW AND NOT POR, IS NOT SUPER OBLIVIOUS AND INNOCENT

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAA

"ill teach you later." "promise me, okay?" BRO THEYRE PLANNING A DATE. THATS WHAT THIS IS. THIS IS A DATE. WHAT THE HELL.

THE PINKIES

AND COME CLOSER PLAYING IN THE BACKGROUND

JUST STAB ME IN THE HEART ALREADY

I LOVE THEM SO MUCH

AND THEY JUST. STAND THERE LIKE THAT.

even the camera angle is exactly the same as the original. i swear they just filmed this on the same day. surely. its so similar.

also random thought: WHERE THE HELL IS MY BOY JORN

PUT YOUR HEAD ON HIS HANDS

PLEASE PUT YOUR HEAD ON HIS HANDS

por speaking english >>>>>>

lets. lets not get into that territory.

we dont need daddy kinks, thank you very much.

i cant explain it but i love the way theyre standing

win with his arms crossed

sound with hands on hips

its very Dads of them

mood

HUGS ALL ROUND

TINNGUN HUG

TIWPOR HUG

SOUNDWIN HUG

THE FREAKING ARM OVER THE SHOULDER

THE FREAKING GRIN

THE WAY WIN IS LOOKING AT SOUND

THE FREAKING LINGERING HAND AT HIS HIP???? HEEEEEELLLPPPP

"pat, should we hug too" lmao yopat felt left out

POR SPEAKING ENGLISH >>>>>>>>>

ITS ALWAYS SO JARRING BUT I LOVE IS SO MUCH

TINNGUN SLEEPOVERRRRRRRRRR

OH COS SOUND IS SNORING

THEYRE ALL SLEEPING OVER AT GUN'S PLACE

WAIT YOU NEED TO GIVE ME MORE DETAIL

WHO IS SLEEPING IN A ROOM TOGETHER

HOW MANY ROOMS ARE THERE

all we know is gun and por shared a room, and tinn and sound shared a room. where are the rest of them? was win perhaps also in the same room as sound and tinn? now that tinn is gone, what does this mean for soundwin? PLEASE

"tinn, have you fallen asleep?" dude. you lied down like. ten seconds ago. hes not gonna be asleep yet.

the dancinggggg i love themmmmm

gay panic gun is my favourite

i love him

BRO GUN IS BOLD

WHY MUST TINN FALL ASLEEP

gun burying his face in his pillow and squealing and kicking his feet- that has been me this whole episode. I LOVE PORGUN'S FRIENDSHIP MORE THAN ANYTHING

BROOOOOOOOOO

WIN ASKING TO CHANGE PARTNERS, BROOO

HE'S JUST GOING THROUGH THE EXACT SAME THING THAT GUN'S GOING THROUGH

HES GAY AND HIS HEART CANT TAKE IT

AND NEITHER CAN MINE

DANCE WITH YOUR BOYFRIEND, WIN

guys.

guys.

why are you switching partners.

dont do that.

you havent practiced with each other.

I NEED SOUDNWIN

also: TIWPORTIWPORTIWPORTIWPOR

COME CLOSERRRRR I LOVE THIS SONG

its slightly different somehow

i like it

its so awkward with the partners tho

YES I AM IMMEDIATELY TEARING UP

GUYS THEYRE DOING THE MSP LIVE ON STAGE CHOREO

TIWPOR ARE GONNA DANCE TOGETHER

SOUNDWIN ARE GONNA DANCE TOGETHER

IM GONNA DIE

HELP

THE CHOREOGRAPHY IS SO PRETTYYYYYYYYY

literally just had to shut my laptop for a sec there

holy hell

they mean too much to me

how do i process this

theyre dancing together

soundwin are dancing together

THIS

FREAKING

CHOREOGRAPHY

the yopat is confusing me but im digging it

THE WAY THEYRE GAZING INTO EACH OTHERS EYES, LIKE THERES NOTHING BUT THEM TWO, JUST THEM, FOR ETERNITY, DANCING TOGETHER, THEIR WHOLE WORLD IS NOTHING BUT HIS EYES AND HIS HANDS AND THEIR FEET AS THEY DANCE AROUND THE ROOM, ENTRANCED BY EACH OTHER

guys this freaking choreography. guys. look at the choreography. whoever the choreographer is. i lvoe them so much. this is amazing.

i need to play this clip on repeat for the rest of eternity

TIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIWTIW

DANG IT I RAN OUT OF IMAGES HANG ON

[brad-bakshi-loves-bugs]

hey there!! as someone who loves writing (but never posts) but hates reading OOC fics, i need your advice, if you're willing!

how do you find that pocket of in-character, while still fitting the storyline?

sorry if this sounds delirious and jumbled. I really admire your writing and wafwaf :)

okay, this is going to sound absolutely ridiculous and I have NEVER told anyone this before EVER, and I have no idea if this is something other people do or if im just a fucked up human being, but here me out:

so basically. I roleplay with myself. like, I spend a lot of time alone (which is fine im just a Huge Introvert) and I get bored easily, so when I was a lot younger I would just pretend to be my favorite characters from media and then when I was alone id talk and act like them and pretend to talk to the other characters in their universe. it helped me flesh out their backstories and behaviors, and with the added bonus that it gave my young ADHD brain something to do that wasn't destructive in any way. so like. it's kind of like larping, because im somewhat acting out what im roleplaying, but im not dressing up and it's just me, alone, pacing around my house. in hindsight it IS kind of pathetic and maybe I should tell my therapist about it, but if there's one thing you should know about me it's that I do NOT like being me and so I pretend to be other people as an escape.

well. in doing so, naturally, im going to get better at acting out the mannerisms of each character. and by that point, if you can act it out, then you can write it out. im very much a visual learner, so being able to picture the exact gestures and expressions each character would make while they talk etc helps SO much with writing! and sometimes I even take notes about specific mannerisms I notice while im watching the show (like brad frequently interrupting people, david's voice cracking when he's upset, etc), so that I can reference them while im writing to make sure I stay in character. I also watch a lot of youtube compilations from the show, so even if im not going back and rewatching the whole series, im still exposed to their distinct behaviors and speaking methods. it REALLY helps to just pick one or two characters at a time and study them exclusively, because you tend to notice a lot more about a specific character if your entire focus is on them.

now, could I write ian, or rachel, or poppy well? probably not, because I dont pay attention to their mannerisms when they're on screen since theyre not characters im personally invested in. but when david and especially brad are on screen, you can bet your ass im studying every tiny detail and change in their expression and tone, so that I can recreate that in my writing as necessary. my goal is that people will be able to recognize each character I write with exclusively dialogue and zero names mentioned. like, let me give an example:

"Hey man, did you get that report I sent you earlier?"

"Wh- uh, what report? I didn't get a report. Are you sure you-"

"Yes, I'm sure I sent it."

"Oh. Well then I'll, um, I'll check my email again. Are you sure you sent it to my work email?"

"Well I didn't send it to dirtydave3377@hotmail.com, if that's what you're asking."

"Oh, okay. I'll, uh- I'll get back to you on that report then I guess."

"Thanks."

see? now obviously the email kind of gave away one of the speakers, but hopefully it was more apparent as the dialogue progressed that the first speaker was brad and the responder was david. because david stutters a lot and uses a completely unnecessary amount of filler words when he talks, so he's pretty easy to write! and brad (typically) doesn't talk excessively, so it's common for him to give short responses only a few words in length. I basically write brad like he's perpetually fed up with everyone around him, because that seems most in character to me based on what I see in the show! lots of eye rolling, groaning, and frowning.

my goal in writing is for people to be able to visualize the characters saying what I write for them as if it's quoted directly from the show. now, im not going to claim to always succeed at that, but being able to hyperfixate on these characters helps a lot! so does reading other in-character fanfics, because it's sometimes tough to convert tv show acting into writing. luckily, at least in most fandoms, other people have already done it for you!

whenever im writing, especially when it comes to dialogue, im always picturing the characters in my head. I'm seeing the way their expressions shift, the way their hands gesticulate, the path they walk when theyre moving. im hearing them say the dialogue im writing in their voices, which probably makes me sound absolutely insane but im like 90% sure it's just my ADHD so dont worry! being able to see and hear the characters helps SO much, and I wouldn't write half as well without that skill.

im sorry this turned into such a long ramble! everyone has their own methods of figuring out characters, but roleplaying with myself, visualizing the characters, and studying the show helps me immeasurably.

as an aside, im always happy to beta stuff and check to see if it sounds in-character, and offer pointers/edits for anything that sounds too ooc! I've totally been there before, and obviously im not perfect, but I enjoy helping where I can and at this point ill do pretty much anything to help get more mq fics out in the world LOL

[particular-one]

HIIIIHIII Could i request a matchup .....? Enstars, twst and hypmic pls ...!!!

name is kitten or 🐏 emoji! i preferably dont use pronouns but she/her it/its are ok. i have no romantic preference in terms of fictional characters hahaaa.

my mbti is INTP, tho i tend to be the most "extroverted" one if placed in a room with other introverts. im also a 8w9 + virgo if that helps. also AB blood type though i dont see many people who believe in that stuff on here.

uhmmmm my personality. im pretty sociable for an introvert, but can get burnt out super quickly IRL (but i can talk for hours over text). due to the autism i cant express myself IRL but i make up for it a lot through the internet by being uhhh a real character online.

im like a bimbo with autistm and ADHD basically, airheaded cutesy girly, bad at filtering myself so i can definitely be rude/mean asf .. super bad attention span.. always with a friend. i Can like get carried away and get very mean to people im not friends with. overall im very temperamental and ive always been like "pretty girl but comes off rude/fake but shes also the class clown kinda". since humor just comes naturally to me kinda.

hobbies include: arts (drawing, making art dolls, sewing, designing outfits/costumes, fashion, ect). i used to do dancing and track running but had to stop due to health complications (im super low energy and cant be as active as most ppl). I LOVE idols so much too.

What i look in a partnerrr?? Uhh nobody shorted than me (162cm) just cuz i cant see them romantically no matter how hard i try. anything is ok honestly as long as I can talk to them for ages and theyre not too loud/chaotic. overall want someone to be as equally as down bad as i am with them for me (if not more haha)

misc ... uhh my favorite love language is acts of service. i dont have to force myself to do anything i struggle with like putting thoughts into words or trying to act affectionate (tho i do get cuteness aggression). i love recieving words of affirmation lmao i need the reminding that they do love me !!!!.

i lovee cats, BOBA i kind of have an addiction to it. cute stuff cute ppl ect... i dont rlly like public affection (its cringe asf seeing couples act lovey dovey in public Sory Im not doing that).

I WROTE SO MUCH SORRY i didnt even notice Please forgive me. uhh last bit of trivia umm. if i were half-animal id have bunny ears and a tail... or id be a deer. THATS IT OK SORRY.

hi kitten! rrararararraa a hypmic AND enstars request?? im so excited :> and don't worry about rambling, it gives me a better idea on who i can match you with! hope you like them!

ENSEMBLE STARS ---- SHU ITSUKI

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ shu's first meeting with you was not actually the first time he's seen you. your handiwork with fashion had piqued his interest for the longest time, but he never actually knew that it was you behind those pieces. so imagine his surprise when he finds out that the genius behind the designs was in fact, you! though shu came off as fussy at first, especially since he wanted to get close to you to observe how you perfected your designs, he gradually found himself enjoying your company more and more. when he finds out about your interest in idols, this amuses him greatly, considering he is one. he'd be the last to admit he likes you, but his behavior ends up changing for the better when he's around you. as a partner, shu can be a bit extravagant with the way he shows love, but he always remembers to keep it in private to respect your preference. he's a perfectionist, so he likes to plan out your activities together down to the tiniest detail, but that's because he wants you to have the best time. shu can be rather straightforward with his words as he doesn't beat around the bush — he doesn't have a filter at times either — but everything he says about you, he truly means them. shu likes admiring you while you're busy at work (he says he's doing it because he wants to see how you do things but secretly it's because he likes watching you do something you're passionate about) but there are days where the both of you would be in the same room working on your respective designs together! he asks for your inputs and vice versa, it's usually the most fun he has.

TWISTED WONDERLAND ---- JAMIL VIPER

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ jamil was not your biggest fan when you first met — if he were being honest, you almost reminded him of kalim, and having another kalim was never good. still, you often get paired in tasks together that he had to get to know you eventually, and was he wrong about not liking you. though it took him quite a while to warm up to the idea of being in your company, he actually found himself looking forward to talking with you. surprise surprise, jamil's definitely the type of "he fell harder" in this situation. as a partner, jamil is most definitely not the publicly affectionate type. though it might seem he's keeping your relationship lowkey, it's mainly because he didn't want people (read: kalim) to make the biggest fuss about it. though he doesn't take you out that often, he's very loving and caring in private. though jamil never enjoyed the idea of serving someone, with you it was different. he'd find himself enjoying to cook your favorite food, help you out in your tasks without a word, and to make you feel as comfortable as possible. character development for him, tbh. when you tell him of your craving for boba, watch this man continuously try and succeed to making boba tea tailored to your preference.

HYPNOSIS MIC ---- NEMU AOHITSUGI

⋆｡ﾟ☁︎｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ nemu actually met you through a chance encounter in a mock rap battle during the tdd era as audience members. it was your personality that drew her in, but she was actually surprised by how blunt you were, but if she were being honest, your humor makes her laugh a lot. your relationship means the world to her, especially since she made sure that samatoki didn't interfere as much as possible. she loves her brother, but he can get carried away when it comes to her. nemu's definitely the one who ended up liking you first, but she's unsure on how to express this to you. as a partner, nemu is very, very sweet. she's scared of messing anything up, so she carefully plans everything in advance. when she finds out that you like cats, she actually comes forward with the idea of adopting a cat together with you! it became your bonding activity, with two of nemu's favorites in the entire world: the cat and of course, you. she has your favorite boba order/s memorized and likes to surprise you with getting some. nemu's the encouraging type, so expect a lot of comforting words from her. she's also the type who likes bringing you out to shop, whether it's for your art materials or for clothes, nemu likes hearing your inputs on the items you buy (or consider buying) and takes note of them so she can surprise you with them in the future.

[zhongrin]

ok so this isn't really selfshippy but can i just say that i love xingqiu with my whole heart /p?? he is so "sworn sibling"/"twin" coded for me. he was one of my first four stars and was part of the team that i refused to switch out/change all the way til i reached inazuma (where i was violently humbled by the raiden shogun and got kokomi to carry me through the whole thing lol). he's one of the ogs of my acc (alongside kaeya, beidou, and aether) so he is very precious to me

i gave him his own room in my teapot (and one of his fave sets too!) and sometimes, when i have nothing to do or i want to read smth on my phone but dont want to close the game, i pull him up on the character screen and just chill there with him while he does his idles and i do whatever. i like to imagine that whenever i do end up reading a little longer than i thought, hes peeking over my shoulder and trying to see if whatever im reading is something he can use to tease me or something we can read together while he sits beside me.

i dont have any siblings close to me in age, but if in some universe i did get lucky enough to get a twin, id want them to be like xingqiu. i love that guhua geek. i will put carrots in his bowl during family dinners so i can barter with him (ill take his carrots but he also has to give me either more slices of meat or take my fish fillets). i will go with him to qingce village so i can dig through his warehouse of novels for something to read, and write all of my thoughts and comments on a separate sheet of paper for him to read too, when he wants. i think hed make fun of the annotations i put into my own personal collection of books, because theyre almost never actually anything of substance and read more like wattpad comments lmao but i think hed like reading them bc it gives him a better insight to how i think and why i act the way i act (and i think hed also start to look forward to finishing chapters of the books ive annotated bc most of the time, theres usually a separate sheet of paper that ive stuck into it detailing my more coherent thoughts and analyses of things i found interesting in the chapter). id love to go adventuring with him and chongyun (and xiangling too, when shes able to leave their restaurant!) and get into heated, but playful arguments about whether or not his actions still fall under chivalry or "unwanted meddling" haha

ok sorry for the long ask, i just have a lot of Emotions about he so tl;dr my bro xingqiu, i very much admire and love him, even when hes being a brat and an annoying brother

a platonic/familial f/o! i consider that selfship too, just not the romantic kind! and i think it's perfectly normal!! just as valid and fun as the romantic ones <3

that is utterly, earth-shatteringly adorable omg??? i don't think i can even add to this bc your dynamic is already so adorable and wholesome wahhhh you even gave him a room in your teapot... i'm sure he's overjoyed to have a special home where he can read in peace and 'escape' to every now and then hehe

twins and siblings huh... i am. thinking. if it comes to a character in genshin, honestly... i might get along with diluc as a sibling??? he is literally my brother irl that i'm closest to (minus the whole batman thing ofc) lmaoooo but... the whole stoic and aloof demeanor, the stubborn unwavering belief he has in his values, likes to do things his own way to a fault, the whole 'it's not like i don't like you; i just never express it and prefer to protect & watch you from afar in my own way' schtick.... omg their personalities are so similar it's almost scary help-

also when are brothers not annoying cmon now lol 

[epickiya722]

SHAKES YOU stumbles into ur askbox . shakes you shakes you . now. now this is incredibly importance okay. i nneed to know. what do you think abt kirishima and bakugou seperately and Also as friends tell me what you thingk. on a scale of 1 - 10 1 being nah not for me 4 being eh theyre ok and 10 being i care about these fictional characters so dearly , in fact i might explode. this is critically important not To my ability to still enjoy them as my favorite characters ever to exist but to know if you also enjoy them as dearly . gazes into ur eyes

for context i just discovered my brain is massive and i quite possibly may be creating the most incredible work of art the kiribaku but ALSO deku in there somewhere maybe not romantically but he's Definitely Involved enjoyers may ever read in their entire lives please tell me if you want to know more because i am So ready to tell SOMEONE about this <- desperately wants to start posting but knows the ultimate quality of the fic will go down in my mind if i post it prematurely because what if i want to go back and include Fun Foreshadowing and Moments That Will Be Referenced Later ??? passes out dead on your doorstep. do you understand i am abnormal.

Okay, okay, okay. Can I just say I'm enjoying this very much? Currently sick and this is just making me smile. I can tell you're very passionate about whatever fic you're writing.

Now to answer your question!

I adore both boys! Their relationship is one of the first I took to in canon because they just vibed well to me and what worked is because how they are as individuals.

Both are a strong 9 for me.

With Kirishima, I find he's just one of the characters that you can't really hate because he's just so him!! He's such a sweet guy, always there for people, does his best, so manly! That's probably one of my favorite gags in BNHA is how he will anything is manly, I admire that, we need more Kirishima's in this world. There's the fact he's thick-skinned. Literally and metaphorically. Perfect against someone like Bakugou. What I love about that detail most is how he became that way. His growth from middle school and onward is just beautiful to me.

Also, I want to bring up character design here about him. Love how he looks like the typical protagonist with his spiky red hair and even got the personality, but nope! Ha ha! Tricked! It's actually the green one here with the freckles. And his black hair from middle school. I don't know why, but I like it. His hair being down is nice really.

Now onto Bakugou! He is an ass, yes, but that was just a telltale sign to me that "He's gonna get hit with that CD" and what do you know! He got hit with that character development. And I love that. What I love about it is how it's not forced on him by others, like no one really went "dude, you need to change". Nah, over through the story, he makes his own self-reflections which is influenced by the events he went through and how others act around and towards him. Love that he has moments of vulnerability where he cries. We all need to cry sometime. And the apology scene. Oh my gosh, that's my favorite Bakugou moment right there. He pours his heart out and apologizes to Midoriya and does this by himself. No one really told him that he to do that, to apologize, but he does so on his own in front of the others and that's rare for Bakugou to show emotion like that in front everyone else.

And I like that even after that, he's still Bakugou. I know some people expected him to be "nicer" but I didn't and honestly did not care for that if he was because he wouldn't be Bakugou if he was. He recognized his faults and expressed it and that's enough for me.

And that skull shirt. Every time I see that I'm just reminded how I would wear this black skull shirt a lot during my high school years.

[upsidedowngrass]

on that topic actually, heres some fun details abt my one character design interpretations!!! not gonna go into full detail on my interpretations of object biology bc then id get off topic :)

(ALSO. i hc that while the waiting room heals injuries, it still acts as if the injury healed! so if it wouldve scarred, it scars, if it wouldve caused permanent dmg after healing, that still occurs, etc)

Liam:

limbs are VERY kangaroo like, but with many hints of cat like structure

digitigrade when walking, but will usually stand the same a plantigrade would since it takes less energy for the leg shape. he cannot walk the way a normal plantigrade would

after getting back home, he stands with digitigrade footing more than plantigrade bc. stress

he walks like bipedal digitigrade, but the walking cycle i specifically lean to is emus! (since kangaroos walk using their tail and liam Doesnt have that)

he CAN jump like a kangaroo though. if its funny

he also tends to sit like a kangaroo and it is EXTREMELY silly

shoulder can move more than a humans can, but its restricted to the side pockets

his limbs are around average length and a bit wide!

not gonna go into complete detail for reasons mentioned earlier, but while his torsos(?) (aka his object!) fabric has a set 'max length', his limbs have longer 'fabric' (same material. its BASICALLY fur or hair? idk man objects arent normal animals)

his limbs' fur DOES stand when he is angry/scared/similarly agitated

his top handle is basically like a fucked up antenna type thing. as a result, it moves in conjunction w his expressions the same way many animals' do

his hanging straps are something of a somewhat vestigial structure, but they CAN move a little. not much, though

teeth are a bit more cat like than kangaroo. like theyre a mix of the two but more slightly more cat like, because i am not drawing him w kangaroo teeth im sorry

hands have retractable claws a la cats! the claws themselves are the same material as his zippers :)

paw pads are the same light green as the top of his front pouch!

has dew claws!

after ep 13, his left hands claws are basically impossible to retract

after ep 6, he has scars on his left leg from where it was broken

he has a lightning scar on his left arm, and the fabric around the shoulder has burn damage. once the fur grows back in this is a bit harder to see, but its easiest to see on the hand, where the paw pads were burnt

he has a few smaller scars here in there from his Adventures in ep 14. there are two easier to see ones around his pouch, and a fairly small one near the top of his object

after ep 18, he has scars on his right leg from where it was broken. there are more on this leg, as the leg was crushed rather than snapped

there is more damage to his right leg in general. the left was able to be healed after he died, albiet the damage was still done, but his right leg is more prone to pain and weakness

after getting home he uses a cane!

the fabric under his eyes is a little discolored :( his face area also has some desaturated fabric akin to grey hairs. he has some gray hairs on his arms too but theres more sparse (same way as like... irl hair and fur generally discolors near the head first)

Bryce:

fairly human like bone structure/limb positioning(?)! plantigrade and bipedal so

shoulders can move a good bit similar to liam, but the shoulders are inherently attached to his label, and theres a certain radius they cant exceed. its probably roughly 5-6 inches if i had to give an estimate?

his limbs have web/fin things from the inside of middle upper arm and middle lower arm, and the back of his knees. they are the same color as his label (YES i miscolored them in that one post. whoops)

he contains a lot of air, making him buoyant. he also has organs. no you cant see them

crocodile teeth kinda, but a little shorter!

arms have(?) scutes . i dont know how to describe this and looking it up isnt helping, but think like. crocodilian limbs basically!!! in terms of texture at least. its also somewhat dimilar to his caps texture!

crocodile claws :) these are made of the same type and color plastic as his cap, but without the ridges

no paw pads for bryce!

(debating if his hands n feet r webbed? thats subject to change)

his limbs are just slightly transparent! but not as much as, say, amelias. still very reflective, though!

long and thin arms, also!

after ep 13 his right arm has a lightning scar. his label is burnt near the shoulder. the plastic near the label is slightly 'melted,' sort of?

has some scattered scars from episode 14 as well! a noteable one of these is his impalement scar

Amelia:

arguably has one of the weirder limb structures?

her arms have a general standard human like structure but with kinda paw like hands

her legs are cat legs, but the front legs rather than the more typical back legs

kind of has fur, but its kinda quill like! like sonic..

her fur can also stand, but her fur doesnt get particularly long so its not that noticable

cat teeth :)

ironically her claws are NOT retractable. they r simply out at all times!

her claws are also almost the same texture as her arms, but much darker

DOES have paw pads!

has dewclaws, but only rly has 2 toes i guess?

mirroring this, her hands have 4 fingers, but her pinkies are MUCH smaller than the rest

her limbs are VERY transparent! but get darker farther down the limb. VERY reflective!

has visible wax in her upper arms (all four!)

leg arms are about average length, and arm arms are a bit longer! both are slightly thin but wider at the end. her limbs are fairly flexible!

sits weird bc shes got 4 arms basically, but basically imagine half of a cat sitting for her legs

her ARM arms' shoulders can move a good bit, but only as high as her wax goes, as they are attached there. width wise they can probably slide around 4 inches in either direction?

after ep 1 she has multiple cracks, as well as a missing chip at her top. the cracks look like when glass is re-glued together!

after she gets home, her wax is a little sun damaged!

Charlotte:

limbs are very reminiscent of big cats!

her arms are standard arms and her legs are lion/tiger/whatever-like back legs

has lion like teeth! her fangs overhang a little bc she does not have a lion muzzle

her arms are attached at the crust and are confined to the crust. her shoulders can slide up probably arouuuund 6-7 inches maybe?

her arms are about average length and width, but she has thr power of Being Buff

she has freckles :) and these extend to her limbs, as well!

fur is very reminiscent of a big cat on her limbs, with fur longer than amelias but shorter than liams! it can also stand similar to those two

has light fur on her hands and feet, like when cats have little mittens!

lacks claws entirely, and also lacks dew claws

but she DOES have paw pads! they are coarse like a dogs' paw pads rather than smooth like a cat's, however

after ep 16, she has a scar that goes from the top of her left eye, to somewhat above her right leg. its darker than the inside of her objects color, but lighter than her crust

after getting back home, her right arm is amputated and the top right of her head/object is removed (which includes her eye, but i dont know what verb to use when her head is bread?)

Taylor:

ok hers are like. some Amalgamation of pangolin and horse?? idk man

on the top of all her limbs, shr has rectangular scale like things? like pangolins have but less layered. they are made of glossy kinda paper, and are much thicker than her objects paper, kinda like when u stack a bunch of sheets of paper

her limbs are fairly long! but their width is JUST slightly thinner than standard. like a wider version of bryces legs basically?

her arms attach at... some point on her object? they cant slide TOO high, maybe just about 4-5 inches up or down, but i will admit im a bot stumped wrt the left and right movement. never ask me about that again (unless u have a solution. im just Stuck bc she can UNROLL? and her limbs will b at her side)

has ungulate legs

instead of hooves its like... two big claw things?

she has similar structures for fingers on her hands, but they are more articulated! 4 on each hand :)

these claws are made of paper, but thr glossy kind seen on the front pages of magazines? think of when you fold paper into a cone and thats basically what you have here, but a bit more layered

behind her knee(???) is kind of a spike of one of these? i dont know what thats called and dont know what words to use to search that and find out

she doesnt have paw pads per se, but she has like. smth akin to the scale things earlier? but its much thinner and more flexible, on her palms

her hands are also fairly flat on her arm, kinda like an elephant?? i dont know how to describe taylor im sorry

her arms themselves are more similar to the texture of loose paper!

pretty normal human like teeth i guess?

no fur!

Charlie:

bug like in nature :)

limbs are like grub limbs basically! but a bit more human like in terms of bone structure

his fingers are kind of stem like?

no paw pads

has mandibles

DOES have scars from being crushed, but theyre fairly subtle. like ... many long thin lines